Chapter 3.4
She’d bristled at the way he assumed she was a noble with attendants, her sense of pride getting in the way. Everything she was wearing right now was only there to impress the Baron. She was ashamed of herself for getting dressed up to meet a man she had already decided was wrong for her, just because her father and brother told her to. In the end she was just angry at herself.
‘I’m such a fool.’
Admitting that she’d taken her frustration out on the wrong man, Azelin murmured a vague apology. Once she had accepted her reality, the tension drained from her whole body, and her muddled head went quiet.
“…I’m sorry. For saying such ridiculous things just now.”
Right. She doesn’t even have the courage to run. And she doesn’t want to be hated.
So she was being childish, refusing to marry the Baron when she had no means to save her family by herself. Perhaps the Baron might even be someone generous. Even if what he wanted from her was her beauty and youth, that he would pay enough to bring a ruined family back to its feet wasn’t easy.
If she thought of it as him placing a high value on her, she should even be grateful.
“It isn’t ridiculous.”
Azelin’s rushing thoughts were cut off again by his voice.
She raised her head, lifting her from the puddle she’d been staring at. His gaze meeting hers held only a trace of curiosity, and his manner was exactly as gentle and warm as before.
“You’ve never been out in the rain, have you?”
“I… well, no…”
“I thought so. You must have been raised like a flower in a greenhouse.”
The gentle, familiar tone of the comment made Azelin bite her lip. It stung that she couldn’t argue with it.
She couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not, his tone was too gentle to read, so she held her breath and stared at him.
“I don’t think greenhouse flowers are so bad, actually. They don’t have to weather the world’s rough rain and wind. And being raised that carefully and tenderly means they carry that much worth.”
“……”
“That’s exactly why everyone pays those high prices to find them. But that’s also why it’s sad. Flowers that aren’t sold at the right price wilt, and become things no one seeks.”
He stretched a hand out past the edge of the awning. Cold rainwater gathered in his palm. The rain that had been nothing but dirty mud on her shoes, but in his open hand it collected clearly transparent.
“Waiting your whole life for someone to choose you, doesn’t that get tiring? If someone else’s judgment determines your value, I think I’d find that unfair.”
“But…”
“I won’t accept that apology of yours, so I’ll say something strange in return. Getting rained on might not be as bad as you’d think.”
“Wait!”
He smiled mischievously and stepped out without hesitation. Before Azelin could stop him, he had moved one pace away and was standing at the edge of the roof, between the shelter keeping her from the rain and the rain itself. His shoulders and hair began to darken with wetness.
“Aren’t there plenty of things alive and breathing outside the greenhouse? They grow in the rain and wind, so they may not have the market value of a hothouse bloom, but they don’t need to be commodities.”
“…..”
“Even if they aren’t commodities, they fulfill their purpose simply by living and existing there.”
The rain was falling so hard the building across the street had gone unclear. But oddly, his voice reached her more distinctly than before, as if the rain carried it straight to her.
The pressure that had been squeezing her chest gave way to a strange, fluttering sensation. She had never felt anything like this dizziness before. She felt faintly nauseous. She was spellbound, and couldn’t bear to look away from his smiling face.
“The rain seems like it’ll be going on for a while. Shall we just walk through it?”
“…..”
“Or you can keep waiting if you’d like. Until the rain stops, or until someone comes looking for you.”
He wasn’t criticizing either option. If she waited for the rain to stop or for someone to come and shelter her, that too was fine, he seemed to say. Whatever she chose, he would tell her she’d made the right decision.
And yet he held out a hand to Azelin. Despite the rain streaming down his face, his smile was just as bright as before.
So Azelin grabbed the hand that seemed like it would wait forever for her, grabbed it quickly, almost in a hurry.
The rain had made a mess of everything.
The dress she had taken such care to put on was thoroughly soaked, the fabric losing its shape and hanging limp and heavy. The wet cloth clung to her skin uncomfortably.
The hair she’d spent hours on was soaked through and falling apart. Without checking she could tell her makeup had smeared into something she wouldn’t want to see.
The rain stung her skin; the wind was cold enough to make her shiver a little. She was certain her appearance was a disaster.
“How is it?”
“…Not bad.”
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