A Practical Guide to Ending a One-Sided Love - Chapter 12

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The day Bjorn was to meet Leila was a bright spring day.

Five years ago, in this very season, he had been preparing for a holy war, ready to face death. Now he was preparing to go out with a woman. Life was truly something you never fully understood.

After consulting with Allen, Bjorn immediately sent Leila a letter saying he had something important to discuss and asking her to spare just one day. The reply that came back only a day later contained words of acceptance, as if it went without saying.

For today, Bjorn had even made a reservation at a restaurant in the capital’s busy district. This, too, had been Allen’s doing.

Instead of his eye-catching knight’s uniform, he put on shabby civilian clothes, and left his hair messily unstyled as he stepped out of the temple’s main gate for the first time in a long while. Since becoming a knight, this was the first time he had gone out dressed so plainly, and it gave him a somewhat strange feeling.

Both before departing for war and even now, not long after returning, Bjorn was not one to go out often. Perhaps because of that, the lively atmosphere of the bustling streets he encountered after so long felt quite unfamiliar.

The fierce battles that had taken place in distant lands felt like stories from another world, as every scene before his eyes was peaceful and serene.

Small children smiling as they held their parents’ hands, women gathered in small groups chatting leisurely, awkward young men sneaking glances at those women, and affectionate couples walking closely together like lovebirds.

Amid this beautiful picture, Bjorn felt as though he alone was floating apart, isolated. This was not a place meant for him. He did not have the right to enjoy such ordinary happiness.

From the moment he was abandoned by his parents, Bjorn had likewise abandoned his own life in that way. He believed the reason he had been cast aside was because he bore an unerasable original sin, and that his life was nothing more than a trial for atonement. If he did not find a reason like that, it felt as though he would not be able to endure the misery.

At times, when he encountered sights of such happiness, a quiet anger welled up from deep in his core, but even that was part of the suffering he was meant to bear.

All the teachings he had learned at the temple since childhood were like that. Endurance and restraint, how to rein in a hardened heart, how to castrate desire, and even how to deceive oneself into wanting nothing at all.

Having trained for an entire lifetime, it was no longer particularly difficult. Not now, and not in the future either.

Burying once more the resentment and indignation that tried to thrash about without regard for timing, Bjorn soon arrived at the appointed place. The manager, who had come out personally to greet him, had prepared a private room just as instructed.

Guided into a cozy space where two or three people could dine in comfort, Bjorn was not surprised to see Leila already seated. Truly, every one of her actions was exactly as he had expected.

She seemed to have arrived quite some time earlier, and when Bjorn entered, she sprang up from her seat with a visibly flushed face. As always, she was wearing a gloomy colored dress.

What on earth… What kind of fabric is that made from?

Sweeping his eyes over the rough, thick material that was far removed from beauty, and the somber color that looked as though it had been left to age in a dressing room for a century, Bjorn felt a moment of puzzlement.

Having dealt with noble ladies since childhood, he had unintentionally developed a deep knowledge of clothing. To his eyes, Leila’s fashion sense was the worst of the worst.

“I apologize, I should have arrived first… Did you wait long?”

Swallowing the impression he could never voice aloud, Bjorn gestured for Leila to sit back down and offered an apology he did not truly feel.

“Not at all. I only arrived a little while ago myself. Please don’t worry about it.”

She waved her hand to brush it off, but even as she settled back into her chair, she looked at him with an air of fascination.

Bjorn fixed his gaze on the flowers placed at the center of the table and did his best to ignore her fervent stare. Even someone who rarely felt nervous had his senses on edge today, to the point that his heart was beating a little faster.

If this had truly been his first date with Leila Bailey, he might have thought it was because of excitement and fluttering anticipation, but the tension he felt now came from a different reason altogether.