Chapter 45
“And so… until now, I forced myself to deny my feelings, but now I no longer feel even the slightest reluctance toward her as before. Rather than hesitation, instead I’ve…”
“Completely grown attached.”
Allen let out a small laugh and finished the sentence he had not completed. He had always felt it, but he was a good listener and an excellent counselor.
“Yes, perhaps.”
Answering like that, Bjorn followed Allen with a faint smile. The words ‘grown attached’ were far too mild compared to his current state of mind, yet he didn’t bother pointing it out.
“Honestly, it isn’t such a strange thing. People’s hearts are like that, aren’t they? Unless she’s your sworn enemy, you can’t treat someone who likes you so harshly. And wasn’t that young lady sincere? If I were you, Vice Commander, I would have wavered too.”
While agreeing with Allen, Bjorn also thought it was slightly different.
He had opened his heart because the other person was Leila. If another woman had clung to him like this, the ending might have been different.
Perhaps his subconscious had realized his true feelings long ago and had regarded Leila as special from the very unstable period when he couldn’t even consider letting her into his heart.
If he had truly resolved to become a monk, he would have simply ignored a woman chasing him and left for training.
Her tears or heartbreak would have held neither value nor reason to consider. But Leila was different. Even when he didn’t realize it, she was his exception. Bjorn recalled how he alone had never been able to be cruel to her.
It had been the same after the holy war ended. He could have hurt her severely, yet he didn’t choose that path. The reason he stubbornly insisted on cutting off her lingering feelings cleanly before leaving, enduring all this trouble and humiliation…
It was because she weighed heavily on his mind.
Because he pitied the woman who alone remained among countless followers and confessed her feelings had not changed.
Because he couldn’t understand, to the point of anger, why she clung so desperately to someone as insignificant as himself.
Because it was hard to believe someone in this world could pour such infinite affection onto someone like him.
Whatever the reason, only one fact mattered. Bjorn also held affection for her.
After a very long time wandering, he finally realized and acknowledged his feelings.
He couldn’t cast Leila away. No, not only could he not, eventually he came to yearn for her.
The victor of this war that was not a war had long been decided. It was Leila Bailey’s victory.
“Having harbored such personal feelings, I can’t become a monk.”
At Bjorn’s declaration of surrender, finally spoken aloud, Allen answered with a hearty laugh.
“Honestly, when you first said that you were planning to train at Mount Ator, I wanted to stop you. Why choose the hard path when a happy one is in front of you? Life is shorter than you think.”
“You’re right, Sir Allen.”
Bjorn no longer felt resistance to Allen’s words. Once he accepted it, things he had not seen before became visible. One of them was this.
“Whatever happens, I just want you to be happy, Vice Commander.”
He realized that someone beside him sincerely wished for his happiness.
With a softened heart, Bjorn accepted another person’s goodwill and the warmth of the world for the first time in his life.
Is this what it feels like to live as an ordinary person without wounds and resentment in the heart? The feeling was new as though he finally understood a little of life’s charm.
“Then let me ask one last time. How about seriously dating that young lady?”
It was a question he had heard many times since planning this foolish farce.
To that repeatedly asked question, which he had always answered rigidly, Bjorn could finally give an honest reply.
The answer he had ignored yet which had echoed in his heart all along…
“I want to do that.”
At Bjorn’s calm admission, Allen cheered loudly.
“I helped you earnestly all this time, but honestly I knew it would end like this. Can’t ignore intuition!”
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