A Practical Guide to Ending a One-Sided Love - Chapter 47 - ᴠɪ.

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When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

(Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

—Shakespeare, Sonnet 29

Bjorn opened his eyes. The morning he had waited for all night had dawned. Without feeling even a trace of fatigue, he sprang from his bed.

Though his heart swelled with unfamiliar emotions and he had dozed only lightly until dawn, his body felt lighter than ever. Feeling reborn with vigor, he decided to wash first.

Cleanliness was already second nature to him, yet he shaved more carefully than usual and scrubbed every corner of his body with soap so no unpleasant scent would remain.

He had never asked directly, but Leila seemed to quite like his appearance. Ten years ago and even now. Whenever he looked elsewhere, her gaze unfailingly clung to his face.

When he was first chosen for the holy war, no, even until recently when he tried to push Leila away, Bjorn had rather wished his appearance were ugly. Now, he could look at himself in the mirror without disgust.

At the same time, deep relief swept through his chest.

‘What would I have done if Leila had actually given up on me in the end.’

He was deeply grateful that she had endured his foolishness all this time. Otherwise he might have lived trapped in the abyss he created, never knowing such fullness and happiness, and died alone.

The saying that ignorance breeds boldness was not wrong. He had been a naked fool who knew nothing. The thought that he had almost erased Leila from his life with his own hands now made cold sweat run down his back.

He would confess all his faults and beg forgiveness. If he truly repented, the merciful Leila would surely pity him, who had briefly strayed onto a wicked path, and extend a hand of salvation. Bjorn firmly believed it.

After neatly combing back his damp blond hair, he pushed his swelling anticipation into his tight uniform jacket.

Seeing his reflection looked rather good made him even more satisfied. Even the sensual uniform he had always considered vulgar somehow seemed excellent today.

Having completed all preparations perfectly, Bjorn checked outside the window. Since he began dressing at dawn, it was still early morning.

As he paced the room anxiously, his empty hands suddenly felt shabby.

‘A gift… I should have prepared even a small gift.’

Why had he not thought of it earlier. No, it was fortunate he realized it now. Relieved, Bjorn rushed out of the temple. Not knowing what to buy, he simply walked.

After wandering the streets for about twenty laps where most shops were still closed due to the early hour, he decided to buy flowers.

As a reply to ten years of unrequited love, he wanted to buy a large jewel. However, considering Leila’s character, forgiveness was the top priority.

What reaction would she show if he offered flowers to the unsuspecting woman and confessed that he had only now realized his feelings, that he had finally understood he loved her in his foolishness.

While his mind was filled with such thoughts, a forgotten memory suddenly surfaced. During the time he reluctantly participated in holy activities, he had unexpectedly encountered Leila.

She had possessed especially innocent eyes even then. Unable to hide her longing for him, she… bought Bjorn’s time, by making a donation to the temple.