Chapter 64
Her heart couldn’t help but tremble. She wondered if she was allowed to do this, and worried whether he might feel uncomfortable. But at that moment the urge to comfort him surpassed her timid nature.
At the time she did not know what kind of ripple that small action would cause. Nor what kind of flame that brief kiss would spread into, nor what change it would bring to herself.
Her first kiss with Bjorn was too deep and persistent for Leila to handle. Like someone enchanted, he sucked at her lips and tangled his tongue with hers, and he felt very unfamiliar. However, the most troublesome part was that Leila did not dislike it either. Contact with someone she harbored feelings for couldn’t possibly be unpleasant, and every sensation he gave felt like a new and stimulating game.
From that point Leila felt her feelings slowly begin to change shape. The fresh shock Bjorn caused might even have made her mind strange.
The change was small and strange. After the day she kissed him, a painful and unfamiliar emotion was born in her heart. Not long after, she realized it was desire.
It was a sudden and bewildering emotional shift. When she thought of Bjorn, her heart that once only felt pleasantly excited now pounded unbearably.
Unlike before, when she watched from afar and limited meetings so as not to burden him, she wanted to meet him more often and for longer. Once they met she wanted to stay together and not part. Even thinking he might secretly find her annoying, she never declined whenever he asked to meet and faithfully replied that she would gladly come.
She could not bring herself to tell Bjorn about this state. She had already chased after him enough and even confessed she liked him, and saying her feelings had deepened now would make her seem too desperate.
In any case, for a while Leila was quite happy. Bjorn seemed so as well. Seeing how he regularly asked to meet her, it seemed he did not dislike the time spent with her.
At certain moments he looked rather happy, and his expression had softened far more than before. That made her even happier. She felt proud she could finally help him and contribute even a little to his happiness.
However, the happy time did not last long.
“…From deliberately showing her a pathetic side of me, to the lie about having debt and the excuse of a physical defect. Even the trivial lies as well…”
“Goodness, she really is remarkable. How could she not give up on you after all that, Vice Commander?”
“You worked very hard, Sir Allen, yet in the end everything ended in vain.”
“……”
“I can’t seem to wrap my head around it, really. A woman who refused marriage for so long and only waited for my safe return…”
She accidentally overheard a conversation she should not have heard, yet was fortunate to hear.
Without knowing what she was thinking, Leila hurriedly hid and returned home.
Only after calming herself in her quiet bedroom did she properly understand everything.
Bjorn’s eccentric behavior and nonsensical actions had all been schemes to push her away.
She had thought everything was flowing far too favorably for her. There was no way Bjorn would sincerely like a woman like her, and the fact he approached so actively had been strange from the start.
Learning the truth, Leila was bewildered by an unfamiliar feeling she had never experienced.
It was similar to sadness but even more scorching, something that sharpened even her dull sensitivity from within. Only after a moment did Leila realize it was pure anger.
Yet even then she was not angry at Bjorn. From the beginning he was some existence outside ordinary notions to her.
The target of Leila’s anger was herself, who had made the man she loved commit such acts.
Like a fool without noticing anything. She had believed he was happy because of her without realizing he disliked her that much. Her affection had actually been suffocating him. And he had been cornered enough to stage such an act.
Far from helping him, she had actually been his greatest hardship, and that made Leila begin to hate herself.
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