A Practical Guide to Ending a One-Sided Love - Chapter 78

“Sir Bjorn, you probably already know, but I’ve liked you for a long time. Since a very long time you could never even imagine.”

Only after Leila’s calm confession began did Bjorn look at her. Between their meeting gazes, hesitation, regret, and fear all evaporated.

After taking a brief breath, she gathered her last courage and slowly opened her mouth to speak.

“It’s true I didn’t see you as a man. More precisely… until our first kiss. I respected and revered you so much that I thought you were someone I could never dare possess. Or maybe the opposite. Because you felt impossible to reach, I turned you into an idol instead. But inconveniently, at some point you started to feel like a man.”

At the words that she had not seen him as a man, Bjorn first looked shocked and discouraged, then his expression gradually brightened with hope.

“That feeling was unfamiliar, and I was confused because I couldn’t believe the possibility that suddenly appeared. But when I learned all of it was a lie, I guess I felt disappointed without realizing it.

Like waking suddenly from a sweet dream, it felt bewildering and unpleasant. So what I want to say is…”

As her words continued, his face darkened again, and she inhaled deeply for her final words.

“Why did you do that to me? You jerk!”

For the first time in her life she vented anger at someone, and at the same time Leila’s body collapsed into Bjorn’s arms.

Even then the lingering resentment and hurt remained, and she pounded his defenseless chest with her fists. It was a gesture mixed with anger, resentment, affection, and longing.

The not-very-painful blows struck not his chest but his heart. He did not want to avoid them, and he had no right to avoid them either. Rather, he welcomed Leila’s complaints. He almost wished she would stay by his side forever and be angry like this. He would accept even harsher and more painful punishment if only she would remain beside him.

But Leila’s anger soon subsided. Perhaps feeling sorry for hitting him, she gently stroked the place she had struck. He felt guilty for enjoying such a touch after so little atonement, yet at the same time he feared it would disappear. Unable to embrace her who might leave at any time, Bjorn merely clenched his fingers in anguish.

“I’m sorry. It’s all because I was lacking. As you said, I was terrible. It’s all my fault, Leila.”

Trying to get even a little closer, he lowered his head deeply and rested it on her shoulder, repeatedly apologizing. He felt pathetic that the words he finally managed were such a cliché apology, but the feeling was sincere. If possible, he wanted to split himself open and show his heart.

Leila hugged him tightly. Bjorn curled into her embrace as if burrowing into it, pitiful yet welcome. With that brief hug and the humble but sincere apology, the emotions long knotted inside Leila slowly loosened.

“I’m sorry too. For being petty. I said I liked you, yet I only made things hard for you.”

“That’s not true. I was the foolish one. I failed to recognize your love sooner and deceived you with pointless stubbornness. I’m sorry I realized it too late. Instead, I will love you more, and for much longer. If you forgive me, I want to stay by your side and return all the love you gave me, no, even more than that.”

Tears flowed from her eyes while the earnest confession filled her ears. Leila whispered to Bjorn in a voice mixed with crying and laughter.

“It’s too late. Truly far too late. You’re really such a fool. Though I’m the same.”

After a moment she added softly.

“I love you, Bjorn. With every feeling I can give.”

As an object of admiration, and as a man. She loved him in every form that could be called love.

At last confirming each other’s hearts, the two silently pressed their foreheads together. Within the embrace where smiles and tears mixed, long unrequited love, belated regret, and crossed feelings finally returned to their proper places.