A Way to Confirm Your Husband’s True Feelings - Chapter 37 - V.

V.

The inside of the carriage on the way home was shrouded in silence, just like when they had come.

However, Beatrice’s heart felt quite different from just a moment ago. If her earlier mood when heading to the imperial capital had been closer to sorrow, now it was guilt that tormented her.

“Beatrice.”

That was why she sprang up in surprise from her seat when Caesar’s hand suddenly reached out and touched her forehead without warning.

He withdrew his hand and looked at her with a very startled expression.

“Your face was so red, I was checking if you had a fever. I’m sorry for startling you. You said you weren’t feeling well. Where exactly do you feel unwell?”

“I‑It’s not that I have a fever. My face is red because… I drank a little wine with Amelia earlier, I think.”

Unable to meet his eyes, Beatrice stared only at the innocent carriage window. Because of that, she didn’t realize just how serious Caesar’s expression had become.

“I have something I’m curious about.”

But his unusually earnest voice somehow sounded angry to her, which confused her.

However, her husband had never once raised his voice at her since their wedding.

‘I must be imagining things.’

Beatrice dismissed it as nothing more than her own jittery state of mind.

“Yes, go ahead.”

“Were you in the lounge all evening?”

As if trying to dig into her unease, Caesar asked about her whereabouts, and Beatrice, like a thief with a guilty conscience, felt a sharp pang in her chest.

There was no way he could know. But for some reason, it felt like he already knew everything she had discussed with Amelia.

If, by some impossible chance, he truly did… she felt she might just die of embarrassment.

“Pardon? Ah, yes. O‑Of course. I was in the lounge the whole time.”

That was why she stammered. The guilt and shame about the conversation in the lounge and the books hidden in her arms—that was all.

But for some reason, Caesar’s expression grew even darker than before. Of course, Beatrice still didn’t notice that change either.

“In the lounge… were you with Miss Amelia?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

She only thought that Caesar’s persistent questioning today was terribly difficult to handle.

“Then what happened with the shawl?”

“The shawl? What shawl? Ah… I must have dropped it on the way out without realizing. Caesar, I’m sorry, but would it be alright if I closed my eyes for a bit? I think the wine is starting to hit me…”

Not wanting to continue the conversation any longer, Beatrice used the alcohol as an excuse and closed her eyes.

With such lewd books tucked inside her clothes, her nerves were far too frayed to keep up a casual conversation with her husband.

Amelia’s advice had been enlightening, but a bit too overwhelming.

At Beatrice’s words, Caesar said nothing more, and she too, preoccupied with the books in her arms, pretended to sleep and didn’t say another word until they arrived.

The quiet carriage rolled through the night.

***

The two books Amelia had given her were e****c texts that detailed the acts between men and women with great precision, along with an illustrated volume depicting all of it beautifully colored.

Beatrice, who had stayed up all night reading them while propped up in bed, slowly lifted her face from the book at the break of dawn.

“So… this is what it was?”

Though she had traded a pair of dark circles under her eyes in exchange, her knowledge had now improved beyond comparison.

The contents of the books were shockingly detailed, unfamiliar, and explicit.

In truth, the moment she read the first paragraph the night before, she was so surprised she closed the cover immediately. Though she had long since come of age, she was a proper lady. Was she really supposed to be looking at something like this? That guilty voice of conscience had gotten to her.

But at the same time, another voice in her heart urged her to hurry and read more. Beatrice couldn’t resist the impulse and opened the book again—and from then on, she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

Holding her pounding heart, she even went through the illustrated volume meticulously, and by the end, it felt like a whole new world of marital relations had opened before her.

“So this is how everyone’s been living their lives…?”

Judging from how casually Amelia had handed over such things, it didn’t seem to be anything particularly abnormal.

Well, even if she had never tried to go beyond the bounds set for her, Beatrice wasn’t foolish. Perhaps she had vaguely sensed the existence of such a world.

Adultery, affairs, infidelity, secret trysts… If what went on between men and women wasn’t this stimulating, then how could one explain all the madness in the world that resulted from it?