Chapter 39
When she stood on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, Caesar bent his large frame to embrace her in return. As she expected, he didn’t ask anything. Not why she hadn’t come out to greet him until now, nor what sudden whim had brought her here today.
There was a time when she had considered this indifference of his a virtue. But now, it felt like nothing more than a massive wall that kept her from reaching his true feelings.
Still, regardless of the turmoil in her heart, it was a hug she had longed for so deeply it made her want to cry. Beatrice took a deep breath and drank in the scent of her husband as much as she could.
“If it’s alright, shall we have dinner together?”
When she asked this with her arms still linked around him, his affirmative reply came without hesitation.
After sharing dinner and naturally making their way to Caesar’s bedchamber, Beatrice summoned the last of her courage.
“Um, Caesar. Tonight, I…”
“Beatrice, may I ask you something?”
But her quiet voice was buried by Caesar’s sudden words.
“I’ve been curious since yesterday, but I waited because you seemed very tired.”
“O‑Oh, I’m fine now. What is it you wanted to ask?”
As she faltered, caught off guard, Caesar asked with a serious expression.
“What exactly did the Crown Prince say in his letter, and what was it about that required my input?”
Though Beatrice nodded at his words, her mind was elsewhere, and she didn’t even notice that Caesar had omitted the honorific when speaking of the Crown Prince.
“Oh, that. It wasn’t anything special. As always, he asked after my well-being, and as for the part about needing to discuss something with you… actually, His Highness suggested I might serve as a lady-in-waiting to the future Crown Princess.”
“A lady-in-waiting?”
“Yes. I meant to talk to you about it, but I haven’t been able to make up my mind yet, so I was putting it off. I didn’t expect His Highness to mention it first. If it upset you, I’m sorry.”
Ever since arriving in the capital, she had been too preoccupied with other matters to seriously consider the proposal. Still, Beatrice admitted her fault for now.
From Caesar’s perspective, it might have been troubling to hear about such a matter from the Crown Prince first, without knowing anything about it himself.
“I’m not asking for an apology. I just wonder why he offered that position to you specifically… Are you considering accepting it?”
Beatrice hesitated to answer. Nothing had been decided yet. As Edgar had said, there was still plenty of time before the imperial wedding, and she wasn’t even sure whether she wanted to do it.
But in her current situation—lacking any particular public duties—it didn’t seem ideal to reject a position offered in goodwill by the Imperial Family.
Given Caesar’s still-unstable standing, it might be beneficial for her to strengthen her own social position and connections by serving the future Crown Princess.
“It’s not certain yet, but I think I’ll probably accept. It wouldn’t look good to refuse the Crown Prince’s suggestion, and me having a reason to come and go from the palace could be helpful to you in various ways as well.”
“I don’t need that kind of help.”
“…What?”
Startled by Caesar’s unusually cold tone, she asked again, and he quickly backtracked, flustered.
“I mean, you don’t need to force yourself to do something like that for my sake.”
“Of course. I have no intention of doing it unwillingly.”
It wouldn’t be easy to decline, but considering the relationship between the Imperial Family and the Ducal House, it wasn’t entirely impossible either.
Even if she didn’t know when, she could always use the excuse of pregnancy if needed. It wouldn’t be too difficult.
What Beatrice really wanted to know, though, was Caesar’s opinion. More than usual, he seemed to be expressing his thoughts quite actively about this particular issue.
Judging by his tone, it seemed Caesar didn’t want her to accept the lady-in-waiting position.
Hoping he would be honest with her—frankly and clearly—Beatrice asked,
“What I want to know is your opinion. Even if I accept the offer, are you okay with it?”
Caesar remained silent for a long time, clearly grappling with something, his expression incredibly conflicted.
“…If you truly want to, I have no intention of opposing you.”
And with that response, Beatrice felt utterly deflated.
As always, he was hiding his true feelings. Just as he had always concealed his discontent with her, and his belief that his wife was a burden.
Clearly, things couldn’t go on like this.
Just as Amelia had said, perhaps what they needed as a couple was an extreme remedy.
Ignoring Caesar’s suddenly darkened expression, Beatrice grabbed his wrist firmly.
“Alright. You said you wouldn’t oppose anything I truly wanted, right? Then, starting now, we have something to do together.”
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