Chapter 58
Just as he was briefly imagining what kind of ordeal might unfold before him, it turned out to be completely unfounded—Beatrice Estern had simply been concerned for Caesar, who was new to high society.
“A-Ah, no. That’s not what I meant at all. I only said it to try and make you feel more comfortable, Your Excellency.”
“It’s just… my first season was very difficult, too. The beginning is always the hardest… I only meant to offer you encouragement, from someone who’s already been through it. Even if the capital’s high society feels unfamiliar, I hope you can enjoy tonight.”
After that, Caesar’s mind was filled with such simplistic thoughts, he felt like an idiot. Words came out of his mouth, but he had no idea what he was saying. The fact that he somehow managed to pass as a functioning human and not just a dressed-up monkey felt like a miracle.
After their short conversation, Beatrice left him with her final words of farewell.
“I wouldn’t dare claim to know the full extent of your hardships, but it brings me genuine joy that Your Excellency stands before me now, having overcome them. I hope that only happiness awaits you from here on.”
Before such a kind and gracious lady, Caesar felt almost dazzled.
Maybe it was just his imagination, but it looked as though a radiant halo shone behind her.
Though he was usually numb to most things, Beatrice Estern that evening etched herself clearly into his memory. And understandably so.
‘Are all capital women that beautiful and kind?’
To the point where he was having such foolish thoughts, Beatrice had reduced him to nearly a halfwit before vanishing.
In the end, Caesar’s impression was proven completely wrong. Among the nobles he greeted afterward were certainly young ladies around the same age as the ducal lady.
But every one of them left only vague impressions, and their expressions blatantly oozed desire to the point of discomfort.
They were a type he’d seen all too often—ordinary people with base intentions. Their disdain-tinged interest, the reek of greed they couldn’t hide.
His instincts, honed from surviving a brutal world, were sensitive enough to detect such repulsion. It was the kind of malicious desire and attention he never once sensed from Beatrice, and already, he felt weary of this place.
At the same time, his impression of Beatrice grew even more positive. His instincts told him that in this center of the Empire and marketplace of greed, there was no soul more pure and good than hers.
However, Caesar never got the chance to speak with Beatrice again that evening. As soon as their conversation ended, some fop asked her to dance, and from then on she changed partners without pause.
Not that he had any sinister motive, even if he had gotten a chance. His face was passable at best, but compared to the polished manners and glib tongues of the other noblemen his age, he fell short in many ways.
Even if he had those skills, dreaming of wooing Beatrice Estern would have been pure delusion…
All evening, Caesar felt like a complete fool. Watching the back of Estern’s ducal lady twirl around the dance floor only made it worse.
‘Right, with looks like that, no man would just stand idly by.’
Under the brilliant chandelier lights, smiling and moving so gracefully, she was so beautiful it was almost enchanting.
She was a woman so divine and noble that someone like him wouldn’t even dare to reach for her. But those smooth-talking aristocrats with noble lineage, not born in slop like he was, could approach her without hesitation.
He had long since realized how unfair the world was and had lived too many years resigned to that fact to be hurt by it. But for some reason, that fact felt especially unbearable that night, and he couldn’t stop clenching and unclenching his fists.
For Caesar, the New Year’s ball—and his first meeting with Beatrice—passed with a slightly bitter aftertaste. He tried his best to think of it as no big deal.
As for Beatrice Estern, he figured she had simply left a strong impression that night and that it didn’t mean anything special. Having never once been hung up over a woman before, Caesar assumed this meeting too would be something he’d forget after a good night’s sleep.
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