Chapter 4
In modern society, you can get by on your personal qualifications, but here, a letter of recommendation from the house you worked at is essential. Without a recommendation, you can’t even work as a maid, and there’s no guarantee you won’t end up in another house with a notorious reputation.
If I quit being a maid, I’d have to do the same labor as other commoners, which pays less and is far less stable. Especially with the civil war looming in a few years. We all know what women who lose their livelihoods during wartime end up having to do to survive.
So, whether it’s tough or not, I have to hang in there.
‘Ah, making a living is really tough.’
I sighed without realizing it.
“You’re sighing again.”
I felt a shiver down my spine at the touch of a hand gently cupping my cheek.
When I lifted my frozen gaze, I saw a stunningly handsome man with bright blonde hair and vividly blue eyes looking down at me with an expression full of concern.
“If you’re not feeling well, do you want to rest?”
Where? Over there, on your bed?
Normally, wouldn’t you tell someone who isn’t feeling well to go to their own room? Yet, he pointed so naturally to his bedroom, showing off the Duke’s effortless charm, making me shake my head demurely.
“I’m perfectly healthy, Your Grace.”
“But you look unwell.”
“I’m completely fine.”
“Then, how about helping me get dressed?”
Seeing his smiling eyes asking, ‘Will you help me finish undressing?’ made me swallow the question that rose to my throat.
Why are you doing this to me, Your Grace?
Of course, I could have asked, but if he pushed in without a moment’s hesitation, I wouldn’t even be able to back out.
“I shall help you with your shirt.”
Once again, I remind myself that this is not modern society.
In a class-based society, if someone of higher status genuinely says they want you, refusing improperly could cost you your head. And I’m the type to be cautious, like knocking on a stone bridge before crossing it.
In other words, I absolutely refuse to take that kind of risk.
After finishing helping him dress and barely surviving another day, I turned to leave when the Duke’s slow voice reached my back.
“I wish you’d feel more comfortable around me, Julie.”
If I get any more comfortable, I’ll end up naked and rolling around on the bed, Your Grace.
Though I didn’t look back, he was probably wearing that characteristic languid smile. Always kind and polite, the kind of smile that makes it impossible to imagine him rolling around carelessly with a maid while his pregnant wife is left alone.
Thinking that he might wear that same smile while abandoning a maid bleeding on the street as she gives birth to his child made his usually warm and gentle demeanor seem terrifying and horrific. So without looking back, I just bowed my head and hurried out as if fleeing.
***
Consistent diligence never betrays itself.
What bullshxt am I spouting, you ask?
Well, the kind of bullshxt that’s true. Diligence, in turn, hits you on the back of the head. And it does so very harshly, in ways you could never have imagined. So I should have been diligent only when the situation called for it.
“If it’s you, I can trust and take you in.”
What bullshxt is this, Your Highness the Grand Duchess?
Lady Elva, who is now the Grand Duchess of Kaltblüter after marrying the Grand Duke, lifted my chin with her finger and tapped my cheek with a haughty laugh.
“I’ve watched you for quite a long time, and since you’ve been so consistent, how could I not trust you?”
Excuse me, haven’t you heard the saying about the trusted axe cutting off one’s own foot? No, it seems there’s no such saying in this place. And this isn’t just a matter of the axe cutting off one’s own foot—it’s more like, after not cutting off my foot for over ten years, now she’s entrusting her own foot to me.
“Your Highness, how could I possibly attend to you…”
“It’s alright. I’ve decided to do so.”
No, I’m not alright with this. I wanted to ask if she had gone mad, but the Grand Duchess, with a generous smile, flapped her fan decorated with peacock feathers.
Just looking at it made my head spin, making me wonder if the Grand Duchess had lost her mind.
Otherwise, how could she think of keeping the maid her husband has been persistently flirting with for years as her close attendant?
It’s true that the unattainable fruit seems the sweetest, and since we met again, the Duke’s flirtations have been relentless. Never in a forceful way, but with a steady, sincere determination.
Is that all? When the civil war started and he went out for the suppression campaign, he sent handwritten letters almost daily, continuing his advances.
「I always miss you, Julie.」
「There are many casualties. I hope you’re safe where you are.」
「Could you write back even once? I’ll be waiting.」
Anyone would think we were in a relationship. No, if I hadn’t been steadfast in blocking him, it would have looked like we were undoubtedly dating.
Fortunately, that same diligence does get through, somehow or another. Initially, there were rumors of an affair with the Duke, but as I consistently ignored and coldly rejected him, people around us began to understand that the Duke’s feelings were one-sided.
However, I never dreamed that this would backfire in such a way.
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