Chapter 169
Claude returned home later in the evening.
Knock, knock.
There was a knock on the door, but I didn’t respond, hoping he would take the hint that I was asleep and leave.
But that was just wishful thinking.
Click—
The door opened, and I could feel him sitting beside my bed as I lay there.
All the while, I kept my eyes tightly shut under the blanket.
Don’t touch me. I’m sleeping.
“…Rose.”
Yet, as if he knew I was awake, he called out to me in a low voice.
I hadn’t moved an inch, but somehow, he always knew.
“…I didn’t say you could come in.”
I retorted curtly.
“Mhm. Right.”
“…”
“You know, I came because I missed you.”
He said teasingly. I didn’t respond.
I had clearly asked the logs not to tell him about me attending the combat demonstration. But it seems they must have told Claude everything.
After all, they were his subordinates, not mine; they had no reason to listen to me.
“…Why are you angry?”
He muttered, twirling a lock of my hair that peeked out from the blanket between his fingers.
“Rose, we promised to be honest with each other, to avoid misunderstandings.”
“…”
“If you don’t tell me, I won’t know.”
His voice was gently coaxing.
I sighed, pulling off the blanket and sitting up.
“…I’m not angry.”
“Then?”
“…”
I didn’t respond to that question. In truth, I didn’t have an answer.
Lately, I’ve been feeling inexplicably upset and uncomfortable, and I don’t know how to explain it to him.
So, I just reached out silently.
As I leaned in slightly, his arms opened wide.
He easily caught me as I leaned into him and pulled me closer—more of a reflex than anything intentional.
“…Rose?”
He looked down at me in surprise as I carefully framed his face. With a slight tug, he obediently lowered his head.
Our lips met closely. I felt his jaw tense in my hand for a moment.
He chuckled a hollow laugh.
“I really can’t figure you out.”
He seemed puzzled by my sudden aggression after appearing so deflated.
I continued whispering without a care.
“Don’t want to?”
“…Hah.”
He looked down at me, astonished, then his expression suddenly shifted.
In a flash, I thought my body was lifted, and the next moment, I was already straddling his thighs.
“If you’re going to do it, do it right.”
He growled, pressing his body against mine more tightly, indicating that mere pecks were not enough for him. He brought my arms to his neck to embrace him, and with a breath of urgency, his tongue intertwined with mine.
The air in the silent room quickly became damp and heated. As I breathlessly accepted his probing tongue, his hands had already made their way under my clothes.
His warm, large hand swept over my dry lower back. The slow, deliberately arousing touch sent shivers down my spine.
But there was no guiding at all.
When Claude set his mind to receive, it used to work just fine. Why doesn’t it work when I decide to try it?
I must have looked visibly disheartened. His hands on my body and our entwined tongues suddenly stopped.
Suddenly, my chin was grasped, and my head was tilted back.
Noticing my lack of focus, he furrowed his brow and slowly scanned my face. His eyes searched mine, trying to understand my thoughts.
Then he asked in a voice that suddenly cooled, as if doused with cold water,
“If you’re not angry, then what is it?”
My chest felt strangely tumultuous. I hesitated, then opened my mouth.
“Can you teach me how to guide?”
“…”
A look of perplexity crossed his face at my words.
“Why all of a sudden?”
After a moment of silence, his response wasn’t really an answer.
It was always like this. We promised to be honest with each other, yet he particularly avoids this topic.
Claude doesn’t want me to know how to guide. And I couldn’t understand why he felt that way.
“No, just… I don’t even know how to do it even though I’m a Guide… I want to learn. If I learn, I can really do better.”
I know that he can receive all the guiding he needs from me if necessary.
But unlike other Guides, I can’t even guide through simple contact. Knowing how would surely be better for him too.
I don’t understand why he’s so reluctant to teach me.
“Rose. You are already perfect.”
“…”
“Don’t try to learn or strive for more. That’s not what I want.”
You just need to stay by my side, he whispered.
But he was wrong.
I’m not just staying by his side.
I’m stuck, never moving forward.
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