Chapter 335
After we broke up, Sunbae kept calling me.
I thought about blocking him, but I didn’t. After all, he was a sunbae in the same department, and I wondered if it was really necessary to go that far.
Anyway, it wasn’t like Sunbae really liked me that much.
People say that kind of thing all the time. The feeling of being head over heels in love with someone, where you can’t find a single flaw in them, is just an illusion that I had because I was inexperienced in relationships. So I figured that once he got tired, he would naturally stop and find someone else.
After I got home, I tossed my almost dead phone onto the table, exhausted from all the calls, and went to take a shower. I never imagined that my mom would check my phone while I was gone.
Mom immediately flew into a rage.
〈You went to college claiming you’d study and make money. All excuses, you just planned to fool around and date?! You said you were working part-time, but you always came home late! Were you just meeting a guy and going to a motel? You uneducated brat! 〉
A promiscuous girl, blinded by a man, who would end up pregnant.
Mom hit me. She grabbed my hair, pinched my skin, and scratched me with her nails. As if she were facing herself from twenty years ago, when she had dared to have a child and ruin her life completely.
After about two hours of hitting me, Mom finally got tired. Only then could I stagger back to my room.
Mom had hit me before, but it had never been this severe. It was so exhausting that I finally answered Sunbae’s calls, which I had been ignoring until then.
—Hey, you stupid b-tch.
Even though I hadn’t expected comfort, I didn’t think I’d be greeted with insults.
—Do you think I enjoyed dragging around someone as stiff as you? I should have never dated a girl with no experience. Out of all the girls I’ve been with, you were the most high-maintenance and difficult. You couldn’t be satisfied no matter how hard I tried, so what would be different with another guy? You’ll never be loved by a man. Never!
Sunbae was very angry with me for reasons I didn’t understand. Even though I never believed him, with the same lips that once whispered love to me, he now cursed me.
I quietly listened and then responded.
〈I’m sorry.〉
Yes, I think so too. There’s probably no one who will love me enough to fill this loneliness. Not Sunbae, nor anyone else.
But I couldn’t bring myself to say those last words out loud.
I went to work.
Mom had been frantically calling and texting me to come back, but I ignored her. No matter how much I played the role of the obedient daughter, Mom would still demand pocket money and living expenses from me.
I thought about moving out, but I gave up. Since I failed to get a spot in the dorm, living with Mom was the best option for now. The allowance I gave Mom wasn’t small, but if I moved into even a small room, my expenses would at least double or triple, and I couldn’t afford that.
For these reasons, while working part-time, I occasionally faced situations that made me feel small.
〈Son, your teacher called. You didn’t do your homework?〉
〈Ah, damn it! Why does the teacher keep tattling to you…〉
〈Why? You know why. It’s all for your own good. If you keep skipping homework and don’t study, what do you think will happen? While your friends are driving fancy foreign cars and wearing suits to work, what will you do, huh? Live like that girl over there, cleaning up after others?〉
This was what a mother and son, sitting at another table near where I was cleaning, said to each other.
Discussion
2 CommentsReactions
Er_amaral26@
Blueside1802