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Chapter 57

  1. Home
  2. Blasphemous Grace
  3. Chapter 57
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A sigil she could not fail to recognize. The brand placed upon her heart by the High Priest on her first day here. Because of that, she had been rendered unable to speak, act, or even think against the High Priest or the temple—could it be?

Her eyes widened.

“The first is the existence of this brand. And the other…” His gaze seemed tinged with sorrow. A slight pain, perhaps? His brow furrowed, and he finally forced out the words. “We met once, twenty years ago.” Back then, you— He closed his eyes, as if his mouth would not open further.

“Twenty years ago…?” Delonas’s lips parted slightly. She wanted more explanation. But perhaps because of the heart-brand, the Pope’s explanation ended there. He turned and left the bath.

***

They say moving your body stops other thoughts. But Delonas realized that saying was useless when those ‘other thoughts’ ran too deep.

‘We met once, twenty years ago.’

Twenty years ago? Ever since hearing the Pope’s words, that time period refused to leave her mind. Most childhood memories fade, but his mention of twenty years brought one event sharply into focus. Because a great fire had broken out in the forest where her private villa stood.

‘Princess, you must not go in!’

‘But my toy is in there, and also…!’

She couldn’t say a friend was there, too. Revealing someone had entered the imperial forest would make them subject to punishment. And that boy with the brilliantly golden hair… he was undoubtedly from Archion. However much her father tried to bridge the emotional rift between Beakin and Archion, there were still limits. What would happen if it were known an Archion child had entered the imperial woods? Even as a child, that thought was clear enough to seal her lips. So… that was how they parted. Golden hair is not common even in Archion. Especially such a bright shade.

“It can’t be.”

Was that boy the Pope?

He was the first and last friend she’d ever had, not knowing each other’s names or stations. But she had deliberately buried that memory.

‘The dry trees caught fire and in an instant…’

The forest fire took days to extinguish, and among the departing Archion envoy, there was no golden-haired boy.

‘You don’t have to go back, do you?’

She remembered asking him again if he really had to leave, not wanting him to go. Each time, the boy had asked cautiously, ‘Is it… that my presence makes you uncomfortable?’ It wasn’t that, she’d said, but she never knew if her sincerity reached him.

‘I have to go back… I don’t want to. But I must show my face…’

If she had known that sight of him, troubled and speaking those words, would be the last, she would never have let him go.

Though her childhood memories were hazy, they said the fire had started in multiple places in the forest simultaneously.

Had she remained ignorant in the forest lodge, she, too, would have been unable to escape the flames. The fire spread with terrifying speed, they said, burning even swift-footed beasts so completely their bones could not be recovered.

If he had been with me, he would have lived. Even if he was an Archion child, if I had said I called him there to play, it would have been fine….

She spent days drowning in that regret, crying and screaming herself to sleep for countless nights. Her worried father had said, ‘Is it because of the cherished objects in the forest? I know there is a void that cannot be filled, even with identical replacements.’ It wasn’t about objects, but part of his words rang true. No matter what other friends she made, she felt she could never forget that boy. That boy who seemed to have died because of her.

‘But do you not have so many days yet to live? You will lose countless more things living in this world. If you collapse like this every time, you cannot go on. Sometimes…’

Sometimes…

‘…forgetting is also necessary.’

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    Tags:
    European Ambience, Female Protagonist, First Love, Hardcore, Obsessive Love, Possessiveness, R19

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