Side Story 1
I had a dream.
Seeing the cold look in Ga-eun’s eyes as she stared at me, I knew.
This must be a terrible nightmare.
***
In the dream, Si-heon was in Yeonjun’s Byeolnaeri Village.
Back when Ga-eun was still carrying Se-ryun in her belly.
That is, around the time he had found her after she left him.
To be more precise… it was the period when Ga-eun stubbornly refused to speak to him.
The moment he learned of Ga-eun’s whereabouts, he dropped everything and went to Yeonjun.
He needed to apologize to her.
He had to convey his feelings and make a firm promise that it would never happen again.
But he couldn’t.
Because every time Ga-eun saw him, she would complain of stomachaches or headaches from extreme tension.
Only three people were allowed near his wife.
Kim Hak-sun, Kim Juhan, and his aunt.
Even when Ga-eun clutched her stomach and broke into cold sweat, all he could do was stand at a distance and stare helplessly.
That was all. There was nothing he could do.
Nothing at all.
Had he ever felt so powerless in his life?
There could be no greater tragedy in this world.
To become the most useless existence to the person who mattered most.
Yet, Si-heon couldn’t leave.
He had to keep Ga-eun in his sight.
Because if he didn’t, he felt like he would die.
It wasn’t just a figure of speech.
A life without Ga-eun held no color, no meaning whatsoever.
So Si-heon stayed in Yeonjun instead of returning to Seoul.
Perhaps because his presence had grown somewhat familiar, Ga-eun no longer turned pale at the sight of him.
That alone made him happy.
That tiny, insignificant change was enough to keep him alive.
Only one person could save him—and only one person could destroy him.
On a day when the sunlight was quite warm,
They somehow ended up alone in the house.
Kim Juhan had gone back to Seoul for work, Kim Hak-sun (Juhan’s grandfather) had gone to the hospital with a mild cold, and Noh Man-su had accompanied them to the hospital along with Si-heon’s aunt.
It was fortunate that his aunt regarded both him and Noh Man-su with some warmth.
Otherwise, she would never have left him alone with Ga-eun.
Si-heon sat on the sofa, quietly watching Ga-eun as she rested with her eyes closed.
Every flutter of her eyelashes, every slight shift in her breathing, every tiny movement of her fingers—
his nerves grew taut.
Was she in pain somewhere?
“Are you holding it in because I’m here?”
“Tell me if you’re hurting. Don’t hold back.”
At his words, Ga-eun flinched slightly, then slowly opened her eyes.
“You don’t have to do this.”
The air grew heavy with her silence.
No—it was his own heart that grew heavier.
Had she felt like this too?
Every time he had stayed silent, had she been swallowed by this same sinking feeling, as if her heart had plummeted?
“If you want to go for a walk, just say so. You always take a stroll around this time.”
Ga-eun’s softly closed lips parted.
“Kwon Si-heon.”
You bastard.
You f*****g bastard.
Even now, his blood burned hot.
Just because she had said his name—that alone was enough.
“Please go back.”
But his soaring mood crashed instantly into the abyss.
“Please go back. I’m begging you.”
Ga-eun lowered her head. A few strands of her soft hair fell over her forehead.
He wanted to brush them back for her.
Even in this hopeless moment.
“…Where would I go? You’re here.”
“As I’ve said before, if there’s anything you want from me, I’ll do it. But when it comes to the baby—”
She stopped there, clamping her lips shut.
As if she couldn’t bear to finish.
To Ga-eun, he must have seemed like a grim reaper, just waiting for the child to be born.
“Ga-eun.”
Seeing her delicate shoulders tremble, Si-heon softened his voice as much as possible.
“The baby is as precious to me as it is to you.”
But her face showed no trace of belief.
If anything, the opposite.
“Are you pregnant?”
“Answer me—are you?”
Back then, when he had pressed her with those questions, he realized from her reaction what kind of expression he must have worn.
“You asked if I hated the child so much that I’d find it terrible even if it were yours. But looking at your expression now, I think I have my answer.”
“I’m sorry for overstepping. I just meant that I simply left the child at the same destination—nothing more.”
At the memory that surfaced, Si-heon furrowed his brow.
Interpreting his reaction in her own way, Ga-eun added weakly,
“Some things never change with you, Kwon Si-heon.”
Yes, he was still the same.
He still wanted Ga-eun.
Even now, he wanted only her.
He was about to say so—
“You still don’t listen to me. You still don’t respect me.”
Her detached gaze, devoid of any expectation, suddenly stabbed deep into his heart.
“You won’t change, Kwon Si-heon. And neither will I.”
No, I will change. I’ll live however you want me to.
He wanted to say it.
“We’re only miserable when we’re together.”
Though she had bound them together as “we,” what surged in him wasn’t joy—it was despair.
His vision whitened, his blood turning cold.
The composure and reason he had barely maintained began to crumble.
“You’re unhappy by my side. Then at least your body should be comfortable, right? This damn—”
This godforsaken hellhole isn’t even that.
Si-heon clenched his jaw shut.
If he couldn’t restrain the frustration boiling inside him, he’d only prove her right—that he was still the same old Kwon Si-heon.
“I’m not unhappy.”
Unlike his silence, Ga-eun spoke calmly.
Her eyes locked straight onto his.
“Unless Kwon Si-heon is around.”
“…….”
“It’s you who makes me unhappy, Kwon Si-heon. So please, don’t come looking for me again.”
She wasn’t saying it to hurt him.
It wasn’t a reckless outburst from unchecked anger.
Ga-eun was simply voicing a truth she had long accepted—plain and absolute.
So matter-of-fact, so undeniably obvious.
“…I’ll get you some water.”
Si-heon stood up.
He didn’t know when—or if—he’d ever get another chance like this to sit across from her and talk. But right now, he couldn’t bear to look at her.
He couldn’t face the reality of Ga-eun already living a life that had no place for him.
The moment he let out a heavy breath—
Si-heon woke from the dream.
***
The moment he opened his eyes, he bolted upright.
“…Hah.”
Si-heon dragged his hands down his face.
Why the hell did I dream that?
It was a moment he never wanted to revisit, never wanted to remember.
They say dreams reflect the subconscious.
Apparently, that time was still buried deep in some corner of his mind.
The coldest, darkest, loneliest period of his life.
“… …”
It was just a dream.
It wasn’t reality—not the life he was living now.
He needed warmth to ground himself in that certainty.
And that warmth, without a doubt, was Ga-eun.
His wife, who had borne his child, who slept and woke in the same bed as him.
In the darkness, Si-heon reached out.
But he felt nothing.
…Am I still dreaming?
Frowning, he turned on the bedside lamp.
The other side of the bed was empty.
…Ga-eun wasn’t there.
The moment he realized his wife was gone—
Si-heon kicked off the covers and shot to his feet.
His heart pounded like it would burst.
His mouth went dry, his breath strangling in his throat.
His blood ran cold.
His dark pupils shook violently.
Slamming the door open, he headed straight for the study.
Did she leave? No, she wouldn’t.
If—if it’s like before, did she leave something in the study again?
Still trapped in the past he had seen in his dream, Si-heon searched both his and his wife’s study.
But there was no trace of Ga-eun there, either.
His fingertips trembled.
Just as his vision flickered black, he finally remembered.
The place Ga-eun frequented most often these days, where she spent the most time.
The nursery.
Kwon Se-ryun.
Their son’s room—the child who bore equal resemblance to both of them.
What if she’s not there, either?
Normally, he would wake at the slightest rustle from Ga-eun.
Why didn’t I wake up today?
When did she slip away from my side…?
He rushed down the stairs and threw open Se-ryun’s door.
The moment he saw Ga-eun, holding their baby and staring at him in surprise—
All the tension drained from his body at once.
“…Si-heon?”
The moment Ga-eun called his name, the suffocating terror evaporated instantly.
But he wouldn’t feel fully at ease until he could touch her warmth.
The moment he took a step toward her—
Si-heon froze.
Discussion
0 CommentsReactions
No comments yet.