Chapter 187
That didn’t mean she didn’t care about what became of him.
It wasn’t an indifferent thought born out of apathy, but rather the belief that she would love him regardless of what he became.
So there was no need for him to try to be anything at all.
Whether he was rough or gentle, affectionate or distant, what mattered was that she loved him now.
Siren knew well that this vast and encompassing love of hers was melting Yasamin.
That this was what he needed.
If he was someone whose anxieties surged up time and again—so be it. She would embrace him with enough love to cover them all.
He had endured so much before his heart could open. Yasamin, too, had suffered.
Truthfully, he must have been on edge, fearing the day she would regain her memories.
Now, Siren wanted to repay him for that patience.
To thank him for not letting go of her despite it all.
Still, I’m glad I finally regained all my memories last year.
The person she was now was Siren, who carried the memories of Aquafuran.
She was confident but not arrogant, proud but without prejudice. She knew how to embrace others and had the grace to extend both utmost kindness and warmth.
She was neither cold nor cruel, not indifferent nor callous—she knew how to treat others with sincerity.
With a wealth of accumulated knowledge, she had also grown wiser.
That was a wonderful thing.
It meant there was even more she could teach the children.
Yes, at last, she was complete, with not a single piece missing.
Be happy.
My jagged, wounded love.
My love who doesn’t even know how to ease your pain or loneliness, only crying out for me, begging me to look at you, to stroke you just once.
You, who can’t even shed tears, only raising your voice.
It should make my heart ache.
And yet.
Siren thought this was precisely what made her less than human.
She wasn’t mocking herself, nor reproaching herself—she simply accepted it.
But still… how could his pain be so sweet?
Perhaps I went a little mad, too, as my divinity was restored.
I wished with all my heart for you to never be hurt, and yet, when I turn away, I find myself cherishing your wounds. I leave them to linger, watching over them, touching them, licking them—seeking the taste of your blood.
How contradictory. How deceitful.
“I like seeing you desperate.”
“I know. You’re a wicked goddess.”
“What other god is as kind and gentle as I am?”
“Hmm…”
Yasamin drew out the sound, trailing off. He furrowed his brow in feigned discontent before biting her earlobe.
A laugh slipped from Siren’s lips.
“What should I do? I think I’ll always be cruel to you alone.”
“…It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
Murmuring so, Yasamin pulled her into a tight embrace. Siren, who had allowed herself to be held without resistance, hummed softly and stroked his hair.
A man who was a tyrant, a sovereign to the outside world, yet sought solace only in her arms.
If that wasn’t endearing, then what in the world could be?
“Logically, I should help you find stability. And in time, I will. But…”
“Aquafuran has always been greedy. You were always like that.”
She wished for him to stay like this for at least the next five hundred years. And then, perhaps, in the five hundred years that followed, they could both settle into stability—going about their respective lives, even if they couldn’t see each other for long stretches of time.
Maybe then, this possessiveness, this need for exclusivity, would finally be satisfied.
After all, only now was she beginning to indulge in her own greed.
“When the children are grown, we agreed to abdicate and live quietly, just the two of us. That’s all I’m waiting for.”
Yasamin whispered softly into her ear, his sincerity laid bare.
Finding it so endearing, Siren returned his kiss and whispered back,
“Let’s do that—for about four hundred years. We can prevent some of the world’s misfortunes before they happen, tend to the vegetation in the South, and visit the lands we haven’t yet seen.”
“Mm.”
“But for now, there’s too much to do. If we want that future, we need to leave the children with a stable kingdom.”
“That’s true.”
With a quiet sigh, Yasamin finally pulled away, looking as though he had made some great resolution.
“I’ll see you in a month, Sei.”
“You’re already saying your goodbyes when you don’t leave until morning?”
“I already miss you.”
Yasamin slumped his shoulders dramatically, making it clear that he truly didn’t want to go.
But still, she knew he would.
Now that they had a family, the two of them couldn’t always be together.
All she could offer him was a small gesture of encouragement—and the words I love you.
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