Chapter 96
“I wonder if you’ll be okay while I’m gone.”
Suddenly, Yasamin opened his mouth like that.
“Jin is here, and Chris is here… I’ll be fine.”
“You’re using honorifics again.”
“I’ll be fine.”
As she mumbled, he chuckled.
“Yeah, you have to be fine. If anyone bothers you again, punch them with your fist. Teach them a lesson. Got it?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, the one who mixed glass shards last time was a priest of the Nu tribe. He was sentenced to the extreme punishment of being thrown into the desert alive and turned into an infected, so you don’t have to worry.”
I see.
Siren listened calmly.
She didn’t ask him to do it, so she didn’t feel like apologizing.
“Hies will apologize to you in person soon. I told him to. Bispar will be there too, in case he tries to harm you.”
“Okay. I’ll bring Larisa too.”
“Okay. I’ll take responsibility for everything you do. No one in this palace can touch you or harm you. No one. I won’t allow it. You’re mine.”
It was strange.
Those words were reassuring, but also a little unpleasant.
Siren thought for a long time in his strong embrace.
About what was making her uncomfortable.
It would be enough to simply indulge in the peace he offered, without thinking, but somehow, she couldn’t.
That’s because of my ego.
‘Something’ hidden inside her was whispering.
You are you. Not you as someone’s possession, but just you yourself.
‘But I am… a monster.’
She recalled the words she had heard for so long. It was a trap. A trap that persistently grabbed her ankle when she tried to take a step forward.
‘Of course, they don’t call me a monster now. No one does.’
Because they don’t know.
‘Nicoletta or Daphne… might say it to the people of this southern region. They might suddenly pour water on me. Though there isn’t enough water to do that.’
Being splashed with a cup of water doesn’t cause transformation.
Literally, you have to pour a bucketful to make scales appear.
But this dry land doesn’t have enough water to waste a bucket.
No matter how much Nicoletta insists she’s a monster….
‘If they can’t pour water on me, they can dismiss it as nonsense since there’s no proof.’
Ah, in the end, this is the problem.
What keeps her circling in the same spot.
‘My original sin… the scales.’
If only she didn’t have this, her life would be much better.
‘…No. Even this is me.’
Denying, collapsing, rebuilding, crying, laughing, embracing herself again.
The process was very arduous.
The most difficult part was that it was a process done alone within herself.
“Yasamin.”
“Hmm?”
“Haven’t you ever… hated yourself too much?”
It’s still difficult for her not to use honorifics with him.
It seemed to be because she thought he was a being who had lived for a tremendously long time.
It felt rude to just casually use informal speech.
“I have a lot. But I like myself enough to outweigh that.”
“Like yourself…….”
“You will too. You’re someone worth being loved.”
Siren slowly blinked her eyes.
It was the first time she had heard that she was someone worthy of being loved.
Habitually thinking, ‘That can’t be true,’ she opened her mouth.
“Right. I am… someone worthy of love, someone like that….”
“Oh, you’ve improved. Yes, say that. Then someday, your thoughts will change.”
Her cheeks flushed at Yasamin’s compliment.
She was embarrassed even after saying it herself.
Someone worthy of being loved. It was truly absurd.
But she wanted to believe it.
Because she could bring rain, because she would be useful.
‘I too, I too am allowed to be loved. I’m allowed to love. It’s okay to have love.’
The man who says that is here.
It felt like the fog of fear that had vaguely spread was clearing, and the moonlight was shining brightly.
A sprout named comfort was budding in her heart.
‘Living as me. Cherishing myself, not denying myself, respecting myself as I am.’
But what would happen if she did that? What about her relationship with him?
Right now, Siren was Yasamin’s possession.
That’s why she could be respected in this southern region.
The reason no one treated her carelessly was also because Yasamin was supporting her.
‘Can I find myself while just hiding behind him? Can I stand on my own feet…?’
Somehow, she already knew the answer.
She just needed a little more time to execute it.
So tonight, she would indulge in the sweetness he offered.
It was cowardly, but that was how the weak survived.
“You’re sleepy. Let’s sleep.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’ll be gone tomorrow. Eat well, sleep well.”
Since the country fell and she met him, it was the first time.
Yasamin would be gone.
‘I used to live without him, but now I’m afraid he’s gone.’
It was a strange thing.
Having someone by your side.
That someone who was there would be gone… It was frightening, but it was a day she had to endure to finally live as ‘herself.’
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