Chapter 56
The cool scent of mosquito coils, the leaves swaying gently above my head, the fresh cream melting in my mouth, and the man who had prepared all sorts of things yet didn’t boast about any of it.
Perhaps the reason I honestly opened my mouth at that moment was because the effort someone had poured out for me appeared with such a clear outline.
The darkness had settled deep enough to hide my expression, my heart was floating from the sweet cake, the rustling night breeze stirred up a flutter of excitement—but none of those were the important reasons.
“Earlier today, I went to a cafe and saw that person.”
“Who?”
“Yang Subin.”
The spoon Ryu Eun-seok had been eating cake with paused. He moistened his throat with some iced coffee before I could even ask.
“What did she say to you?”
“No, she didn’t say anything specific, but she was having a birthday party. I guess it’s her birthday today too.”
Ryu Eun-seok just nodded without much response. I suddenly wondered whether he had given Yang Subin a gift too, like he did for me, but now wasn’t the time to ask that.
“Her friends brought a cake, sang to her, and were filming a vlog. Seeing that, honestly, I kind of…”
I purposely took a big bite of cake.
“I was jealous.”
My shameless inner feelings were mumbled together with the cake.
“It’s not that I feel sorry for my situation or anything like that—I was just purely jealous.”
I felt as if the gaze coming from beside me would bore a hole through my cheek. But I just kept chewing the cake diligently.
Life is about giving and receiving. Yang Subbin also takes good care of her friends in daily life, so she gets that kind of celebration on her birthday. So for me, who finds even talking to someone or coordinating meal times together a hassle, such things were out of the question.
Unless it’s between parent and child, who would give unconditionally and endlessly?
“I like the convenience of being alone, but since I’m human, I do feel a bit empty sometimes.”
My face grew hot as I rambled on about this without even having a drink. But the reason I deliberately brought this out instead of hiding it deep inside was that I thought my honest confession might help the man next to me.
Then the last wish I made before blowing out the candles would come true a little sooner.
“Back when you asked me to teach you how to get through school alone.”
I looked down at Ryu Eun-seok’s hand, which hadn’t moved for a while.
“I was acting really tough. The truth is, I struggle a lot too.”
At least I had good grades, which was how I survived in the business department, overflowing with group projects. If not for that, I might have quickly fallen behind and been crying my eyes out under this tree every day.
“So even if you feel intimidated or self-conscious sometimes, just know that everyone goes through that.”
I was grateful to Ryu Eun-seok. For bringing me delicious cake. For giving me the panda doll I had wanted. I expressed my gratitude by unpacking it at length like this.
When my lengthy speech ended, the bench was enveloped in silence. Still unable to bring myself to look toward Ryu Eun-seok, I sipped noisily on my decaf coffee. I had tried to dispel the awkward stillness that way, but the loud sound of stirring ice only emphasized the silence instead.
Ah, s**t. Did I speak unnecessarily again? I had said that so he wouldn’t feel discouraged—that even I, who seemed to be doing fine on my own, had moments like this. But now I felt nothing but embarrassment, as if I had only exposed my own shortcomings.
As I inwardly grumbled while crushing innocent tangerines between my molars, I heard a small sniffle from beside me.
My head whipped around. The eyes of Ryu Eun-seok, whom I was now properly facing, were glistening with moisture. Since the candles weren’t lit, it couldn’t be an optical illusion…
“You’re crying again…”
“I’m not crying.”
Ryu Eun-seok blinked his eyelids rapidly. But his tightly choked voice was suspicious.
“Are you naturally prone to tears?”
“No, I’m not.”
“But this is the third time I’ve seen it.”
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