Chapter 137
You always leave me behind
Freesia finally looked up at Izar properly. The words of a husband who had never done such a thing before—what did they mean?
Izar handed her the box and then turned his head away. In the end, Freesia carefully opened the box, which was tied with a pretty navy ribbon.
“Oh…?”
Inside were peridot earrings crafted in a teardrop shape. Translucent white stones surrounded the thumb-sized gemstone, sparkling brilliantly.
‘Could it be?’
Was it as Thea had said?
<Could it be that His Grace went to buy a gift himself?>
The tradition where the husband gives a gift after the consummation night—Izar, of all people, had kept it.
In fact, her twenty-six-year-old ‘husband’ had also given her a gift. A few days after the consummation night, when Freesia awkwardly came at his call, without any explanation.
<Traditions exist to be upheld.>
Even though he hadn’t spoken a single kind word while holding her.
‘They were also peridot earrings back then.’
Though the stones couldn’t have worn out, she had never dared to wear them, thinking it too precious. And soon after, she found herself pregnant, leaving no occasion for such ornate earrings.
In the end, she had stored those earrings safely in the place where she hid the button necklace.
With trembling fingertips, Freesia lifted the jewelry.
‘The craftsmanship and design are obviously different.’
But why did she feel so dizzy with longing?
“Ah…”
Her throat tightened with overwhelming emotions. When she looked up, Izar was staring at her with his arms crossed, as if her reaction held some significance.
In that moment, a surge of unknown courage welled up.
“Please put these on for me…”
“…”
“Lord Izar, please put them on for me.”
Words she couldn’t muster the courage to ask in the past. She had been afraid of being rejected with a ‘Don’t make such foolish requests.’
But now, Izar reached out silently. Seeing the teardrop-shaped earrings in his hand felt strangely unfamiliar to Freesia.
His empty hand gently caressed her earlobe. Remembering how his hands had touched her all over last night made her blush uncontrollably.
And when the sharp pin of the earring pierced her earlobe, her face grew even hotter.
“Ah…”
After having struggled in his arms naked the previous night, what was left to be embarrassed about?
But his low breaths, his hot body temperature, and scent made her head feel light.
When he fastened the earring on her other ear, she flinched in his embrace.
“Ouch, it hurts.”
“Hurts?”
“It’s a little less, where it’s pierced. Just a little slower…”
“…”
As Freesia hunched her shoulders, the large hand fixing the jewelry paused.
Then, as his hand hurriedly retreated, a low, embarrassed voice muttered above her head.
“You’d have to have done this before to know how.”
Freesia blinked at him as he awkwardly averted his gaze.
She remembered that her twenty-six-year-old ‘husband’ had said the same thing. When he fed her wild berries, she had murmured it was too fast, and he had said something.
<You’d have to have done this before to know how.>
It was something he had said on the happiest night of her life.
‘I thought he was just being shy then.’
It wasn’t like a man of Arcturus to hold his wife and feed her fruit. But now, in the clear daylight, she could see it clearly.
The area around Izar’s eyes was slightly red, and he looked undoubtedly flustered.
His expression was the same as that night under the star-filled sky.
‘Was he shy like this back then, too?’
But when their child died, he had turned so coldly away. Why…?
While Freesia was silent, Izar also remained speechless, rubbing his face dry. Perhaps this was the first time in his life he had felt so embarrassed.
‘I thought the jewelry would suit those eyes.’
While putting it on her, he found it difficult to meet her gaze, feeling his clumsy efforts would be exposed. He had followed his instincts so naturally during their passionate moments, yet now, with something so simple, he felt so awkward.
But as he rubbed his suddenly hot face, Izar froze upon seeing her face.
“Freesia?”
“…”
“Freesia, what’s wrong?”
Tears were streaming from her light green eyes.
Izar urgently cupped her cheeks. No matter how he wiped them away with his fingers, they continued to fall as her golden eyelashes fluttered.
“Freesia, why—”
“I hate you…”
Freesia cried, pressing her forehead against Izar’s chest. Once she knew how to shed tears, even small memories made them fall endlessly.
“I hate you so, so much…”
I hate you so much for not shedding a single tear when I died.
The day their briar baby died, the banquet at Antares mansion, and the day after the consummation night.
Among countless other moments, she had desperately stood firm to survive among the nobles.
She didn’t need kind words—just his presence would have been enough.
But Izar had never been there during those crucial moments, and she hated him so much she thought she might die from it.
‘But I hate you even more for making it so easy to forgive you.’
Most of all, she despised herself for always being ready to forgive him. She had resolved to be as resolute as a shepherd slaughtering a lamb, but her determination crumbled like a fragile sandcastle.
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