Chapter 224
How could this be?
How could monsters appear when the imperial descendant was here?
Even the black lions—those responsible for the worst devastation during the hunting festival—had appeared. These were no mere wolf-type monsters the remaining guards could easily handle.
“Where is Her Highness? Where is she?”
Shouts rang out in all directions as they searched for her, but those who headed toward the duchess’s chambers returned empty-handed.
At that moment, Freesia was alone in the room where she had been working on a portrait.
She was facing the unfinished painting.
“…Has it begun?”
She didn’t need to look outside to know.
The darkness that had once blanketed the land was now illuminated by flames rising in various places—how could she not be aware of it?
This was the ‘final plan,’ a scheme meant to bring down the ducal estate.
Izar’s expedition marked the climax of this plan: to deliver him devastating despair while Freesia herself would conclude her second life.
There had been a few variables, but the core components of the plan had progressed without major obstacles.
‘Electra’s intuition about my intentions was somewhat amusing.’
However, the elder madam seemed to think that Freesia’s goal was to bring about Izar’s death. But that was far from the truth.
“Did Izar think the same?”
But Freesia had never wanted him dead. Not even once.
She had been consistent about that from the moment the plan was conceived.
‘Why do people think death is the ultimate punishment?’
Death itself was surprisingly peaceful.
Freesia could say this with certainty, having experienced death once before, even though that death had been overlaid with memory loss.
It wasn’t death itself that was the punishment, but the emotions one experiences leading up to it. Life was a far more cruel sentence than death.
“I never wished for your death, Izar. Not even once.”
Freesia whispered softly to the man in the portrait.
All she had ever wanted was for him to be utterly ruined, to survive that ruin, and to live a life burdened by that pain alone.
In the end, she and the child would both die, leaving him with no one.
“…But you kept trying to change, didn’t you?”
The man who had insisted that his scarred left eye be accurately depicted in the painting was trying to take on even the guilt of her previous life’s “husband.”
Even when she gave birth to the sweetbrier baby, something even she as the mother had considered tainted, he didn’t reject it. He had confessed that he wanted to be her husband.
〈I’m terrified of what might happen to you.〉
Perhaps even her ‘husband’ had been kind to her during the times when she wasn’t in her right mind.
That thought stirred her heart like a branch swaying in the wind.
Maybe, just maybe, if she ‘changed her mind’, the two of them could be happy together.
“But to completely forgive you… Our relationship was far too unfair for me.”
Looking back on all the things that had happened before he began to care for her like this, wasn’t it obvious?
She had sought him out before their marriage to explain her situation. She had endured the cold treatment from the knights and castle staff. She had even worked hard to express her affection, despite her embarrassment.
But it wasn’t because she was particularly brave. It was simply that, with her dwindling lifespan, she had no other choice.
‘It was better to try something before dying than to do nothing at all.’
But in truth, it had been excruciating.
Even when she acted as if it wasn’t, the pain had always been there.
She had believed she could cover that pain with love. But after experiencing death once, she knew better.
Love alone couldn’t cover the relentless coldness, ridicule, and neglect she had faced in the duchy and the capital.
Love couldn’t forgive the hidden beatings, the treatment she endured at the Antares mansion, or the way he had treated her like a stain on his life.
When she had been treated like livestock at the Antares mansion while he was late because he had been with Atria, she couldn’t bring herself to excuse him for that.
〈To be born to parents like us—happiness would forever elude that child anyway.〉
The wound from hearing those words… how could he possibly heal that?
“…I realize now that you did try to repair our marriage.”
But all those efforts should have been made before he tried to claim her as his.
Because they had skipped that crucial step, the thought lingered: If he hadn’t been satisfied with our first night together, would he have gone to such lengths?
That insidious doubt tainted any possibility of complete forgiveness.
So, there could be no perfect forgiveness.
She wasn’t capable of such a thing.
Bearing that impure doubt, staying by his side until the end, was suffocating.
The idea of dying while trapped in this turmoil, unable to close her eyes in peace, was too much to bear.
“But… partial forgiveness, perhaps, is possible.”
If he didn’t trust her final words and instead followed his own instincts, he would live the rest of his life as a miserable loser.
But if he did heed her advice…
“You will be hailed as the empire’s hero and live a life free of disgrace.”
Freesia slowly rose to her feet.
In the portrait, the woman smiled like a shy bride. Truthfully, she had been incredibly happy while it was being painted.
Looking at it now, Freesia’s lips curved into a smile as well, though warm tears slid down her cheeks.
“…You said we’d watch the spring stars together.”
But he must have known deep down that it wouldn’t happen.
Picking up a flickering candlestick, Freesia whispered,
“Goodbye, my beloved husband.”
Discussion
1 Commentmoonsy