Chapter 267
Instinct
Only five days of life remained.
When she saw the number that morning, Freesia hadn’t felt much of anything.
The sky had been so clear, the sunlight blinding, and Nova’s laughter in Izar’s arms had sounded so cheerful.
In that moment, everything had felt like it would last forever.
But as the day quieted and the world slowed down, the weight of that dwindling number pressed down on her.
Soon it would be four, then three and two… and finally one day left.
And then, it would be a final farewell to Nova.
“Izar…?”
And also to the man who was now standing in her bedroom, looking at her in stunned disbelief.
He had caught her curled up like a frightened child. Shame and anger surged through Freesia’s face in a flash.
“…Why are you here!”
She hurried to wrap herself in the blanket.
More than anything, she couldn’t understand why this man had entered her bedroom.
“How could you come in without permission—”
“Why are you like this.”
Before Freesia could turn away or call for someone, his hands caught hers without hesitation.
She twisted to pull free in panic, but Izar showed no sign of letting go.
“Freesia, what’s wrong?”
“……”
“If you’re in pain, I’ll call the physician immediately.”
Freesia squeezed her eyes shut.
She wanted to scream at him to leave, but once he was holding her hand, she didn’t want to run anymore.
His warmth, those large hands… She wanted to stay in that moment forever.
“Sa…”
Maybe it was his warmth soaking into her, but a foolish sound, almost a plea, threatened to spill from her lips.
If he hadn’t been holding her hands, she might have been able to clamp her mouth shut.
This was the one thing—this one line—she never wanted to say to Izar, not even in death.
But despite all effort, it slipped out through trembling lips like a pitiful plea.
“Save me, please.”
“……”
“All of a sudden, I’m… so scared.”
She could never say such a thing to Riegel, or to Mathilde, or to Nova.
They were people who had defied the Emperor’s wrath to protect her. How could she whimper to them that she was afraid to die?
More than anything, she wanted her daughter to remember her as a mother who always smiled brightly.
After all, when Freesia thought of her own mother, the only memories she had were of sorrow.
But Freesia was still human.
Every night, alone in the dark, she’d clutch her head and struggle through her despair.
She had managed to endure it alone until now.
But when she saw Izar, she wanted to tell him.
“Hicc… Izar. Please, save my life.”
“……”
“I’m so scared.”
She couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Freesia broke down and sobbed like a child.
“That’s… why I told you to leave, hiic, that’s why I did it…”
“Why do you keep saying things like that?”
“But I’m… so disgusting.”
She stammered between gasps, crying like she might choke.
No matter how often Izar wiped away her tears, her pale green eyes wept endlessly, as if they might melt away completely.
At her self-loathing words, Izar’s face twisted in pain.
“Who could ever think that about you?”
“But I… at the very end…”
Freesia whispered through her tears.
“…I died in front of you, with my skull shattered.”
Back when they’d parted at the duchy, she had at least managed a smile.
Even if Izar remembered her with hatred, at least she’d looked whole.
‘But now, the last image he’ll have of me will be this. A pitiful, broken woman begging and sobbing as death approaches.’
If only she had sent him away earlier, she wouldn’t have been remembered like this.
If all she’d felt for Izar were hatred and obligation, she wouldn’t have cared.
But facing death, she had to admit it.
‘I still love him.’
And because of that, it mattered so much how he would remember her in the end.
Human emotions were cruelly fickle.
Right before death, she had wanted to be remembered by him as graceful and dignified.
But she had ruined it all.
“Hic… ugh…”
As he watched her struggle to hold back sobs, Izar felt his throat go dry.
“Freesia.”
He didn’t know what to say.
A voice inside him kept shouting not to run from this moment.
‘Look this woman in the eyes.’
Tell her there’s still time, that there’s still a way—tell her not to give up hope.
‘Lie to the woman you love.’
Izar opened his mouth again, but nothing came out.
He closed it silently.
‘Why can’t you do it?’
He had lied so easily on the marriage contract that should have been the most sacred vow of his life.
Yet now, when she needed comfort the most, he couldn’t muster even a single lie to ease her fear?
He couldn’t say anything to soothe or reassure her.
All he could do was pull her into his arms and whisper, desperately.
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