Chapter 287
The last ghost
Izar laughed and howled, over and over, until the regret that had coiled within him crumbled and melted away.
But in the end, not a single tear came.
His woman was dead.
He had felt, all too clearly, her body growing cold in his arms after she struck the eart. Yet still, he stubbornly denied reality.
Because he refused to accept the truth, even holding her funeral brought him no feelings whatsoever. He couldn’t force even a single tear to fall.
Even now, facing reality only by sheer willpower, nothing had changed.
He wanted to cry, but he was already too broken, only letting out sounds of pain.
“Haa…”
Finally, he looked at her with dry, cracked eyes and forced a twisted smile.
He hadn’t made her happy while she lived. He had caused her so much pain, even to the very end… He had let her die with a body so covered in wounds.
‘How could I possibly allow you to be disgraced even in death…’
Call it the attachment of the living, but there was no way he could watch his wife’s corpse be defiled by his enemies.
So, damn that Deneb bastard. He won.
In the end, he followed the advice and moved her to the underground lake of the ‘sanctuary’.
He knew it was the best choice.
At the very least, the enemy wouldn’t know there was an underground lake here.
Even so, when he left her behind in the bluish darkness, rather than in the dazzling sunlight, his heart…
Izar cursed himself, and, unable to bear it, even cursed the gods.
“Adamant…”
What he whispered to the gods before leaving his wife’s side was not a weak sigh. It was the growl of a beast, mixed with regret and rage.
“I really did give up everything.”
He had devoted his whole life to the honorable duty bestowed by the gods. Why, then, was the ending so unbearably cruel?
Was it not outrageously unfair? Why did this woman have to come to him, only to end her life in such misery? Why had he, blinded by fear and old wounds, realized the truth only too late?
If only he had been given just a little more time, he wouldn’t have made such a painful mistake regarding this woman.
Maybe, just as when he looked up at that star-filled night sky, there could have been more moments of happiness with her…
“I can’t accept a fate like this.”
He placed his hand on the coffin one last time and confessed. He didn’t even know exactly what he wished for, but he pleaded with all his heart, mingled with bitterness and rage.
“So please…”
Let there be just one more chance.
At last, to protect the body of the woman whose soul had departed, he left her side.
* * *
“Gah, haah…!”
It was like suddenly being pulled up from under water after a long time. He coughed as he came to, his knees pressing into the coldness of the underground floor.
When Izar managed to lift his heavy head, the first thing he saw was ten long traces of blood.
“Haa…”
He looked down at his hands, throbbing with dull pain. All ten fingertips were slick with blood, the flesh nearly scraped raw.
It was the mark left from when he clawed at the ground, struggling as he remembered the moment Freesia died in such a wretched way.
But, separate from the pain in his hands, his mind was exhilarated by the fragments of his past life.
“My memories…”
He finally remembered. Everything. Vividly.
Why he had said such things to Freesia, who had lost their child.
It was because he was afraid of even the mere possibility that his spouse had been unfaithful.
He had loved a woman for the first time in his life… and after being cold to her for so long, was terrified that she might have set her heart on another.
He was afraid he would end up like his own father…
Even though he feared that confronting her directly would ruin everything, his anger and fear of betrayal made him ask those leading questions.
Then, after losing her, he wandered in madness, and it was here that he died.
“Wait…”
The last moments of his former life flashed before his eyes in faded images.
At the time, he’d repelled the rebels and monsters that had reached the ‘sanctuary’. In a fierce battle, Izar managed to kill the ringleader.
But he, too, fell to a fatal blow and died in the end.
‘The problem came after that.’
With his eyes closed, he met Adamant.
He had dared to shout and pour out his rage before God.
He demanded to know why Freesia had come to him as a bride, why she had not been saved sooner. He raged at his own foolishness for removing the veil from his eyes too late.
And then…
〈…Even if she wishes for it, how can I!〉
Through his splayed, trembling fingers, his golden eyes wandered, unfocused.
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