Chapter 299
You, back then
Izar silently looked up at the woman, who was so overwhelmed she couldn’t speak.
He had always believed that gentleness and tenderness were like the rings of a tree, something that accumulated thickly from childhood.
So once the moment was missed, he gave up, thinking those virtues had never existed in him to begin with.
That’s why he convinced himself that being kind to a woman wasn’t something that suited him. And yet, in the end, he reached the contradiction of still wanting to be loved.
〈Don’t be deceived by women, Izar.〉
〈If you’re going to be betrayed, then betray first.〉
Because of the curse etched into his very bones, the mere possibility of being betrayed by the woman he loved was terrifying.
Even as he forcibly ignored the relentless accusations that she had been unfaithful, the curse turned into blood and flesh, and continued to echo in his mind.
〈Duke, please name the child when you return.〉
The woman had mustered the courage to grasp his sleeve and whisper those words, yet inside his heart, distrust grew alongside the fluttering excitement.
〈Is she putting on a show? Or is she sincere?〉
Unable to make sense of it, he left her side.
And then he heard that she had buried their dead child under the wild rose bush without his permission. A child of House Arcturus should have been buried in the family tomb, as was proper.
Upon receiving that report, he muttered to himself like a madman all the way to the room where the woman who’d miscarried was lying.
〈Of course.〉
There was no way a woman like her could love him.
〈Would she ever truly cherish the child of a man who neglected her all that time…?〉
Just because she had once sweetened her tone over a handful of wild strawberries, the abuse and coldness from before wouldn’t have vanished.
So no matter how he thought about it, she must not have mourned the child because she hadn’t liked the baby they’d made together.
‘At worst…’
Izar recalled the narrow-minded thoughts he’d held back then, pushed into a corner by the rage and despair he’d let grow wild.
He could see in Freesia’s eyes now that she, too, remembered that time.
“I thought you didn’t cry because the child was born of betrayal…”
“……”
“I had thoughts like that, so of course I couldn’t see your expression…”
But only now could he finally see the woman she had been back then, clearly.
His wife had been so utterly drained, down to her very soul, that she couldn’t even shed a single tear.
“I should’ve embraced you.”
“……”
“I should’ve told you it was okay. That it wasn’t your fault. That you were safe…”
Even if she was in pain and collapsed, he should’ve at least come to his senses.
He should’ve checked to see who had intentionally harmed them.
She had been his precious wife, and that had been their first child.
‘But I did none of those things.’
And yet Freesia had still returned to his side and whispered words of love, forgetting all the sins he had committed.
Their relationship had become so one-sidedly in his favor.
‘That’s why I finally understand now.’
Everything he had begged for from Freesia, everything he had whispered with such desperation, every plea for forgiveness, every wish to remain by her side…
None of it could ever atone for what he had done in the past.
Even though she couldn’t forget those wounds, even though her lifespan was shrinking, she had forcibly allowed herself to remain with the ‘present’ him.
In the very last moments of a life that should have been hers to live however she wished, Freesia had been forced to suppress her own discomfort, simply because Izar was asking for forgiveness… and because he was Nova’s father.
Izar let out a low sigh.
“…I was truly foolish.”
With a trembling hand, he reached to brush back the strands of hair that had fallen over Freesia’s face.
He tried to tuck them behind her ear, but he had no strength left. It was utterly pathetic.
He wanted to see her face clearly, but his vision kept blurring.
‘I need to ask…’
Had her lifespan truly extended?
If so, then Freesia could live safely and happily with Nova for a long time.
He wanted her to live out the rest of her days in comfort and praise. There were still so many small joys in this world that his love hadn’t yet gotten to experience.
There was a time he wished to live with her, to lay those joys at her feet, but even if that remained just a wish, he was content.
‘You’ll be okay now.’
At the very least, this wasn’t another instance of taking something from her or leaving her hurt, and for that, he was grateful.
With that thought, a black curtain fell over his vision.
As Freesia’s frantic voice echoed faintly in the distance, a bittersweet fragrance brushed past the tip of his nose.
A flower that reminded him of the child they had lost.
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