Side Story 3
Freesia kept glancing sidelong at Izar, who held Nova far more naturally than she did. How fortunate it was that she was wearing a veil at this moment.
If not for that, the flush that had spread all the way up to her forehead would surely have been noticed.
‘How strange. It wasn’t this awkward when we parted ways…’
Even after the incident at the canyon palace was resolved and they returned safely to the capital to stay together at the duke’s residence, it hadn’t been like this.
At that time, as Izar slowly recovered his health, he spent the whole day caring for both her and Nova.
Those days—when they were, for the first time, spending time with their living child—were filled with gentle, peaceful happiness.
She had wished that brilliant end-of-summer warmth and bountiful autumn would last forever.
But no matter how long they postponed it, Izar eventually had to return to the estate.
Back then, Freesia had readily said that she would go with him. Though Izar had looked quite unconvinced.
〈Are you sure you’ll be alright?〉
〈Yes. I’ll be fine.〉
At the time, she had meant it.
Even when Izar told her about their previous life, though it made her chest ache, she hadn’t cried.
〈We can’t avoid it forever, can we? Nova has to grow up there too. I have things I did there as well…〉
Now was the time for her and Izar to begin anew.
She thought she could summon the same courage that had brought her back to him once already despite knowing how much physical pain awaited.
But that night, for the first time, Freesia had a seizure.
〈Hhk, agh…!〉
She couldn’t breathe.
Like a sea creature flung ashore, her lungs dried out completely, and she felt like she was going to die.
She couldn’t even pull the bell cord to summon a servant, and collapsed right there on the floor.
What would’ve happened if Izar hadn’t discovered her until later?
〈Freesia!〉
〈I-Izar… the window…〉
She begged him to open the window. That she couldn’t breathe…
Ah, but if they opened the window again, wouldn’t she fall and die?
Strangled by thoughts tangled like thread, Freesia collapsed in Izar’s arms.
She fortunately regained consciousness, but the physician had already given his diagnosis.
It was a paralysis of the body caused by extreme tension and fear, preventing her from breathing.
Holding her cold, sweat-drenched hand, Izar made his decision in a voice choked with restraint.
〈We both know the reason. You can’t go like this.〉
〈…Izar.〉
〈I’ll go alone.〉
Her brows trembled faintly as she looked up at him.
She had truly thought she’d be fine.
Even if it was the place where she’d once been falsely accused of an affair with another man, and suffered so much she’d lost her memory…
‘But that was all in a past life.’
She could face it now, bravely, with all the time she still had left to live, so what was there to fear?
More than anything, when she’d said she’d go with him, she knew Izar had been secretly glad, even if he didn’t show it.
When the one you love is happy, you believe everything will be okay too.
She hadn’t wanted to be apart from him anymore.
〈I’m sorry…〉
But now that her lifespan had been extended, the emotions she’d shoved to the bottom of her priorities suddenly rose to the surface.
Some of it was good. But with it came all the fear she’d repressed, and the instincts that helped her survive by avoiding pain… it felt so unfair.
〈It’s still… too much, for now…〉
〈It’s okay.〉
Only then did Freesia realize that the hand holding hers was trembling ever so slightly.
Even when he drew her into his arms, it continued to tremble.
〈Don’t ever say sorry to me again. Not you. Not in this life.〉
That was when Freesia finally understood.
This was the first time that, when she was sick and in pain, Izar had stayed by her side to the very end.
And the fact that such a simple thing, in the midst of so much pain, had made her so happy, so much that she thought she could die right then and there and be content…
‘Of course, I didn’t actually say something so ominous out loud.’
After that, Izar left for the duchy with only Nova.
There was some discussion about whether just Izar should return to the estate, but Freesia had insisted that since he had searched for their daughter for so long in agony, it was only right for him to spend one full season by her side.
〈Why? Why isn’t Mama coming?〉
Nova, who had only just realized what was happening, stomped her feet as she sniffled.
But Izar picked the child up and explained firmly.
〈Mama’s sick right now, Nova. This time, she can’t come with us.〉
〈Can’t Nova blow on the booboo and make it better?〉
If only all her fear, piled high inside, could melt away at the warmth of a child’s breath, oh how wonderful that would be.
Freesia, too, held Nova tightly and made a promise.
〈…Next year, I’ll go with you, Nova. I promise.〉
〈Hiic…〉
〈Be good and listen to Papa this winter, and meet Mama in the spring. Then we’ll stay together, always. Okay, Nova?〉
〈Okay…〉
Still downcast, Nova reluctantly agreed and waved her hand from Izar’s arms.
〈You can’t fall asleep this time, Mama!〉
Watching them grow more distant, Freesia prayed with all her heart.
That spring would come quickly.
That by then, she would overcome her fear and be able to go with them to the duchy.
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