Side Story 8
When she asked smart Uncle Riegel, did he not say, “Mama and Papa need to be together, just the two of them, as much as possible.”
〈But, Uncle. Then does that mean Nova has to not sleep with Mama and Papa?〉
〈Try to hold back for just a few days, Nova.〉
Since the most trustworthy adult said so, Nova decided to put it into practice right away. As for why Uncle briefly looked up at the ceiling, well…
At any rate, if it meant getting a younger sibling, Nova was prepared to make at least this much sacrifice.
“Nova is— no, I am an adult now!”
“What?”
An adult who can even think big, at that. Nova neatly took hold of both sides of her nightgown dress and offered a bow.
“Good night, Mama.”
“Th… that is right, our Nova. Have sweet dreams…”
Freesia blankly watched her daughter’s back as she trotted out, holding an attendant’s hand.
Just then Izar came in, and, seeing Freesia standing there hugging a fairy-tale book like a child who had dropped a jar of preserved fruit on the floor, he furrowed his brows.
“Freesia?”
“Izar. Nova went out and left us…”
She wanted to beg her daughter not to act like a grown-up yet, to stay Mama’s baby. But the child marched out so bravely that she missed the chance to pull her into her arms.
‘What is going on. Why is Nova acting like this?’
Even so, though flustered, when he turned on his heel without a moment’s delay, Freesia snapped back to herself.
It was the first time in a while, since returning to the capital residence, that the two of them were left alone together in the bedchamber.
“I will bring her back. Wait here.”
But did Izar have no intention at all of facing her?
He could have had a servant fetch the child, yet he insisted on going himself, as if he did not want to be left alone with her.
At that thought, Freesia squeezed her eyes shut.
‘I’m sorry, Nova. Mama really loves you very much.’
But she quickly caught the end of Izar’s sleeve as he was about to go out.
“Izar, could we, just for a moment… be together, the two of us…?”
“……”
“We can bring Nova back and all come together afterward.”
She wanted to live as the ‘good mother’ she herself had never been able to have, and she strove to live as a sensible Imperial Princess and wife.
Yet what Freesia had always wanted, in the end, was to receive someone’s fervent love. And always, she had hoped the very first person would be this man.
Izar stood rigid from jaw to toe, not moving a muscle.
‘This still seems dangerous.’
He had the unnerving sensation that every blood vessel in his heart was pouring toward the side Freesia was holding. It was very bad.
If he were in his right mind, he could dismiss it as a callow reaction befitting a green youth. But he was not in his right mind now.
As if seizing the moment, he even heard the voice of his ‘former’ self whispering at his ear.
〈Haa, to hell with heirs.〉
He had once clung to a woman who wept without end, acting like a stallion in rut.
In an instant, that birdlike frenzy from back then devoured his vision. It felt as if a red-hot pillar had been driven into his spine, and his whole mind went scarlet.
He wanted to tear apart the white garment Freesia wore, spread it on the floor, and press her down. He was parched with the urge to relieve the mind that had been pushed to the limit by taking her and pounding away.
But the scene of her desperately pushing him away and pleading rose just as vividly.
〈N-No, not now, uuh…!〉
The result of ignoring that plea had been her first suicide attempt.
With the chill of ice water pouring down his spine, Izar hurriedly seized Freesia’s hand.
“Wait. Freesia. Stop.”
“Ah…”
“It seems we should not be alone just yet, after all.”
He tried to explain in haste and push her hand down, but Freesia pressed her lips together, and both her cheeks flushed a deep red.
‘Why is it like this every time?’
She had come back even from death once, and laid everything bare, so she thought only happiness awaited them now.
‘Then why is it only Izar who is like this every time?’
She felt like she was always the one who loved him more, yet he acted as if he had already lost interest.
Sadness and embarrassment churned in her heart, but the very first thing that surfaced was resentment.
A childish desire welled up in her to crack that calm expression and put him in a bind.
She had endured so much as well. And when they spoke of the past, there were things she had found strange, yet she had not dug into them on purpose…
“If you tell me one thing first, I will let you go.”
“What is it?”
“Why did you grope me that night?”
“……”
Izar looked down at Freesia in silence for a moment, as she treated him like some bizarre lecher, then suddenly knit his brows.
It was so absurd that the dizzying hallucinations that had been beguiling his ears faded. But still, what was this.
“Me? When did I grope you?”
“Y-You did. When I… was pregnant then. When I was asleep, you felt my face.”
“Ha. That was not groping. I was only… fiddling with it.”
“Ah. So you remember?”
Freesia whispered with a thoroughly puffed-up face.
“You didn’t mention that part when you were telling me stories of the past…”
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