Don’t Ask, It’ll Hurt If You Know - Chapter 47

Day by day, the spirit of spring rose, but the mornings and evenings were still chilly. Cutting through the cold air, Ian arrived at the Count Elena’s mansion and naturally entered the estate as if it were his own home. Having seen the same sight every day recently, the servants of the Count’s mansion felt no sense of strangeness at all.

“Welcome, Young Duke MacMilden.”

The Countess Elena smiled benevolently and welcomed him, and Ian showed his respect by kissing the back of her hand.

“You may call me Ian comfortably instead of Young Duke MacMilden, Countess.”

“Oh my, would that be alright?”

“Of course.”

“Very well, Ian.”

The Countess Elena, pleased with his amiable attitude despite his outwardly reserved appearance, smiled contentedly. What pleased her most was that he visited Chloe every single day.

No matter how she looked at it, they didn’t seem to be merely friends.

The Countess was extremely curious about the nature of their relationship. Her eyes, examining the handsome face of the man who might one day become her son-in-law, sparkled as if embedded with stars.

“Did you have something to tell me?”

“Hmm? Ah, oh-ho-ho. It’s nothing at all.”

When Ian, puzzled by her intent gaze, asked her, the Countess offered an embarrassed laugh and glossed over it.

“Well then, I have some business, so I’ll be going. Please make yourself at home.”

The Countess Elena instructed the butler to guide the Young Duke MacMilden to Chloe and quickly disappeared.

Guided by the unnecessarily kind butler, Ian arrived at Chloe’s bedroom and went inside alone, as he always did.

The scent of medicine hung heavily in the bedroom. The smell of medicine itself was off-putting, but it felt even more repulsive as it so plainly revealed that she was an invalid.

Ian’s golden eyes darkened as he found Chloe lying silently asleep beneath the lace canopy, which was clearly the Countess Elena’s taste.

He naturally sat down by the bedside and pulled the blanket, which had slid down below her chest, up to her neck. As her pale and emaciated face came into view, it hurt as if someone had grabbed him by the collar and punched him in the solar plexus.

“It doesn’t suit you.”

The sickeningly repulsive medicinal smell, the face so thin that her cheekbones protruded, and the bloodless skin and lips—none of it suited her at all.

The Chloe Elena he knew was always full of vitality. Even when she came in second place in the midterms, only 2 points behind the top student, she hadn’t been discouraged or downcast; instead, her motivation had burned brightly.

“Just you wait! I’m definitely going to win next time!”

Ian let out a small laugh as he recalled Chloe’s booming voice, loud enough to have swallowed a train whistle. His eyes, observing the reality of her that was different from his memory, grew darker.

When the sunlight, having crept through the gap in the canopy, tried to crawl up Chloe’s body without fear, Ian blocked it with his sturdy back. In its place, his sun-drenched back was slightly hunched.

“Hurry and wake up.”

A voice filled with earnest yearning echoed softly in the silent bedroom. The irony was that the desire for Chloe to wake up quickly coexisted with the wish for her to wake up a little later.

Only then would the Crown Prince give up on her. No matter how interested the Crown Prince was in Chloe, he couldn’t take someone with health problems as his Crown Princess.

Just a little longer, just a little bit more…….

“……I’ve lost my mind.”

Ian let out a self-derisive laugh, thinking how foolish he was to have such thoughts, and straightened his slightly hunched back.

He got up and walked toward the window, pulling the curtains to completely block out the sunlight, which had grown longer in the meantime. As an intense darkness, as deep as his hair, covered the bedroom, a satisfied smile finally spread across his lips.

Ian sat on the windowsill and looked at her silhouette visible through the canopy. This distance felt familiar because it was the exact same distance as the space between him and her in reality.

No, is it different? Between the two of us, there is a very thick wall, not a thin canopy that only shows a silhouette.

The one who built that wall was neither the Crown Prince nor Ian MacMilden, but Chloe Elena. That was why Ian dared not cross or break that wall. If he did, he wouldn’t even be able to remain friends.

He had personally seen people who had confessed to Chloe without fear and were permanently cast out of her world, so he was even less able to muster the courage.

I’m fine just being friends if it means I can be by your side.

He was satisfied even with being constantly talked about by people due to their rivalry. It meant they were special, more than ordinary friends.

Just up to here. Afraid that he would lose even what he had if he got greedier, Ian resolved to stop there.

“Chloe Elena fell off her horse!”

As if mocking the actions of the cowardly Ian MacMilden, misfortune suddenly struck him.

He couldn’t remember what state of mind he was in or how he moved. Driven by the sole thought that he had to confirm Chloe was safe, he moved frantically until he was standing in front of her.

The moment he saw Chloe wrapped heavily in bandages, his feet crumbled. Amidst the strange feeling that he could hear his heartbeat and yet it had stopped, time itself seemed to freeze. He couldn’t see or hear anything else. All his senses were solely focused on Chloe.

If I had known it would come to this, I should have confessed. Even if I couldn’t remain friends, I should have told her my true feelings.

Late regret washed over him like a tidal wave, driving him further insane.

Ian tightly closed his eyes, recalling the memory of that terrible day. Just as he was holding his trembling hands together and letting out a deep sigh, a knock was heard, and the door opened.

Dorothy, who encountered his sharp gaze—still not fully out of the lingering trauma of that terrible memory—was startled and backed away. It was a miracle that she hadn’t dropped the basin full of water in the process.

“I-I apologize, Young Duke. I thought you had already left…….”

At her words, Ian checked the time. The clock hand was pointing to 1. Since he had left the MacMilden Grand Duchy’s residence around 7 o’clock, calculating the time he had spent here, it was about four hours. It was strange that he thought he had only been there for a little while, but it was already that long. He was also worried that Chloe hadn’t woken up yet.

“Um…… if you don’t mind me asking, when do you plan to leave?”

Dorothy cautiously asked, trying to read Ian’s mood. Ian merely looked at her as if asking why, but the terrified Dorothy stiffened her shoulders and stammered out an excuse.

“I-It’s just that, besides needing to wipe down the Lady’s body, if, if you plan to stay longer, you should have lunch, so I was going to ask the butler to prepare…….”

“Lunch is fine.”

Ian had forgotten what hunger felt like since the day Chloe suffered her riding accident. When he was at the Grand Duchy’s residence, he ate only because his parents and those around him made sure he did, but other than that, he barely ate anything.

Wiping her body…… I’ll have to leave the room.

Ian wished that the first person Chloe saw when she opened her eyes would be him, but he couldn’t stay next to her while she was being bathed. Nor could he tell her not to do it.

Ian, who was walking toward the door, saying he would wait outside and to call him when they were done, suddenly stopped. And with a sharp whoosh sound, he abruptly turned his body and approached the bed. Dorothy looked at him, slightly startled.

Ian tore back the canopy as if he were going to rip it apart and stood by the bedside, looking down at Chloe. Her peaceful face was slightly contorted. It didn’t feel good as she constantly moved her bloodless lips, deeply furrowing her brow as if she was in pain.

“Go and call the physician immediately.”

“Yes, yes? Ah, yes!”

Dorothy, realizing the seriousness of the situation just from his voice without even checking Chloe’s condition, put down the basin and hastily ran out. Even through all that, Chloe continued to groan in pain. As her groans deepened, the wrinkles etched on Ian’s forehead deepened as well.

Unable to simply stand by and watch her suffer, he wiped the cold sweat from her forehead with his bare hand. Just as he was about to brush the hair away from her face, her eyelids fluttered and slowly began to open. Soon after, her chilling blue eyes were revealed, reflecting his distorted face.

“……Ian?”

His stiff lips relaxed slightly at the fact that she recognized him even with blurred focus. Ian gently tucked her hair behind her ear and greeted her in a low voice.

“Hello, Chloe.”