Chapter 84
Still holding my arm, Lecan continued.
“You can’t tell your liege lord you’re with me. And I… can’t bring myself to tell my subordinates that I’m with you either. It feels almost… like I’m committing a sin.”
“……”
“Aren’t we already sharing enough secrets? Or is it that you still can’t trust me? Have I ever once revealed anything about your secrets without cause?”
There was something unexpectedly hurt in his tone, and I found myself speechless.
Truth be told, Lecan was right. He hadn’t breathed a word about the proxy exam. He’d witnessed me at the scene of the Emperor’s death and said nothing. He’d known I was pulling strings behind the scenes and turned a blind eye.
Even when his own men were at risk, he never once mentioned my involvement.
Before the Emperor himself, Lecan kept my secrets, as if worried I’d be cornered. And whenever I was in danger or hurt, he showed up without fail.
They say a tail that grows too long gets caught. Now, among the so-called “neutral” nobles, rumors were finally starting to circulate: that a shadowy figure known as “Unknown” might be orchestrating things from behind the throne. But even that theory hadn’t come from Lecan — it was his strategist and advisor who first proposed it, not a move of Lecan’s will.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Your Grace…”
Yes, Lecan had never once turned his blade on me. He had always respected my will. Even when I bristled or lashed out, he met it with something startlingly close to patience, to understanding.
‘Still, this isn’t right.’
“You were the one who asked to meet, and yet whenever I try to come closer, you push me away.”
“…This distance suits us.”
Only then did Lecan release my arm. And every time his warmth touched me, it confused me. Was his hand unusually warm, or was my skin just cold by nature? Or perhaps it was both. The lingering heat, like a phantom burn, still tickled against my skin, but I moved my lips as if nothing was wrong.
“Not too close, but not… far either.”
“And how ‘not far’ do you want us to be?”
This kind of behavior from Lecan was unfamiliar to me. I’d encountered him more often as letters than as person — through reports, records, and intelligence briefs. On paper, Lecan was the iron-blooded leader of a rising faction, precise and cold, a man of unshakable discipline with a talent for winning public favor.
And yet, this man beside me was warm, quietly persistent, and disarmingly human.
He was especially known for being an impenetrable wall when it came to women, so much so that rumors abounded. That was why, when people learned he had dined alone with a princess, they leapt to assume he harbored feelings for her. Lecan was not kind to women.
And so, for him to speak now with a tone that suggested I was the one keeping him at a distance, while he wished to draw closer — it was baffling. This was a man who, with a mere statement of intent, could have royal marriage proposals pouring in from foreign courts. His appeal wasn’t limited to women, either.
Now even the ‘Elitist’ faction was on the verge of being absorbed into Lecan’s sphere. Noble families hoping to meet him were probably still queueing for a place on the list at this very moment.
“You called me here saying you wanted to be congratulated on your birthday.”
‘Well… that’s because my real birthday is in winter.’
But of course, Lecan took it differently.
“…I see. You can’t tell me why you won’t open your Mana Gate because we’re not close enough. But you do want us to be close enough that I can celebrate your birthday with you.”
Lecan was looking directly into my eyes.
“You’re difficult. Very.”
“…I’m not.”
I didn’t know why Lecan was so fixated on my Mana Gate, but I was relieved that rumors about the emperor’s birth or the ‘Unknown’ hadn’t come up. If I had been forced to speak with Lecan about such topics, I would’ve been utterly drained just trying to manage my expression.
Lecan resumed walking first, and we didn’t exchange another word until we reached the far end of the temple. But as I watched Lecan under the moonlight on the temple’s terrace, a sudden thought made me speak.
“Your Grace… if I hadn’t shown abilities worthy of being coveted as a subordinate, you wouldn’t be standing in front of me now, would you?”
“…….”
Leaning against the terrace railing, Lecan turned his head to look at me.
I’d dressed in a way that subtly accentuated my figure — bare shoulders lightly exposed, the slit in the dress revealing a glimpse of my long legs beneath the fabric.
Lecan’s gaze slowly swept over me, then returned to meet my eyes.
“If you stand like that, with that face, those eyes, and say things like that… I want to kiss you.”
“……”
He didn’t hesitate to show what he truly felt.
Lecan straightened up from leaning on the terrace railing. His large frame moved toward me with an overwhelming presence, leaning in close.
I didn’t try to back away, but I couldn’t hide my tension. I could feel Lecan breathing in my breath, and his exhaled breath returning to me. The air between us mingled.
Lecan came close as if to kiss me but stopped just before crossing that line. He didn’t push beyond, but even without their lips touching, I already felt invaded.
Looking into his crimson eyes, almost blasphemously, I suddenly imagined the color of other parts of him as well.
Lecan whispered to me:
“But as you said, we shouldn’t be that close.”
‘…That line I drew.’
He gently stroked my hair. His touch was almost like treating me as a child, so I looked up at him. And at his next words, I had to stop breathing altogether.
“Happy birthday. I don’t even know your real name, but I celebrate your existence as it is, without any conditions.”
If I had any family left besides Lucian, I’m sure they would have said something this deeply kind and warm on my birthday.
This man was my enemy.
And yet he felt unbearably intense, so much so that I wanted to crumble.
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