Chapter 5.1
Chapter 5.1
Adeline laughed like a madwoman in front of the woman who stared at her as if she were the crazy one.
‘Why isn’t she laughing?’ Adeline wondered. It was utterly ludicrous. A gold watch. She’d gone out and bought a new watch strap for it that very day, and now, instead of Damian, only the watch had returned.
Suddenly, the ending of a book she’d been curious about flashed into her mind. A woman sells her beautiful hair to buy a watch chain, but the man no longer needs it. He’d sold the watch to buy a comb for her beautiful hair.
Here, in her own life, was an irony even more profound than the book’s. Adeline couldn’t contain her laughter. It erupted, stealing her breath. She doubled over, gasping, unable to think straight.
The woman, who had been staring blankly as if the situation were anything but funny, shuffled her feet, mumbled something about having to leave, and fled. Adeline thought she might have even offered condolences.
The door slammed shut with a resounding bang. Adeline was alone in the house again. No, not alone this time. The gold watch was with her. She laughed until she was sick, the humor curdling into nausea.
Bile rose in her throat. She stumbled to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. Yellow. She tried not to think about what it was. If she pictured the sandwich, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop retching.
She sank weakly to the bathroom floor, irritated by the feel of her sweat-dampened hair clinging to her skin. Pushing it back from her face, her gaze snagged on the crooked cabinet door. It had been broken for weeks.
“I’ll fix it when I have time. Just leave it.” Damian’s languid voice echoed in her ears. Her unfocused gaze dropped to her knees. She buried her face in them, taking deep, measured breaths. Counting to ten. ‘Don’t cry. Don’t cry.’
“I’ll never leave you. Not unless you leave me first.” She repeated the words nineteen-year-old Damian had whispered to her. The sting in her eyes intensified, and she pressed her knuckles against them.
Damian couldn’t be dead. That was something only people who didn’t know him would say. He would never leave her. Not like her parents had. They’d made a promise.
***
“…I had a strange dream today.”
“A strange dream?”
“Yeah, the military came and said… well, they said you died ‘outside.’”
“Is that so?”
“Aren’t you surprised?”
Damian’s expression remained unchanged. His gaze, as impassive as Kyle’s, was fixed on the book in his hands—the same one he read every night before bed.
“I expected it.”
“Expected it?”
“Didn’t you know? It was bound to happen. I cut back on smoking, and I was going ‘outside’ too much.”
“…Why did you keep taking those outside missions? You could have refused. I don’t understand.”
“Adel, do you really not know?”
“No. I really… Oh. Was it because of me?” Damian finally looked up from his book, his dark eyes holding hers. The intensity of his gaze made her breath catch in her throat. “I was just joking when I said I wanted to go up there.” The excuse was wrung from her.
“You said it was a dream.”
“No, it’s not like that. Everyone has those kinds of dreams, right? Like wishing you could teleport, or never needing to sleep. It was like that. Not a real desire. Just…”
“You said you wanted to raise a child under the sky, like in the books from the surface.”
“That was just talk too. I never meant for you to look for a way out.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“Well, even if that wasn’t it, there was a practical reason too. The death benefits allowed us to buy this place.”
Adeline squeezed her eyes shut. He was right. Being in the Security Force had given them the right to live on this level, but it was Damian’s sacrifice that had allowed them to afford it.
“I know. Thank you. So you don’t have to push yourself anymore. You’ve done enough. It’s dangerous ‘outside,’ so don’t go anymore.”
“Okay.”
“Really? Promise me.”
“I promise. Really. But, Adel…”
“Yes?”
Damian intertwined their fingers, his voice a low murmur. “Don’t you think it’s already too late?”
A chill shot down her spine. Her eyes flew open. Damian was still holding her hand. Or rather, Damian’s arm was. Just his left arm. Just his left hand, with their wedding ring.
There was nothing else.
Nothing but a severed, stiff arm, dripping blood.
Adeline screamed, a raw, tearing sound. And at the sound of her own voice, she jolted awake again.
***
Blink. Blink.
Dark. Cold. Hard.
The cool tile against her cheek brought her back. She groped at the floor with her hand, recognizing the familiar pattern. The bathroom floor. She must have collapsed after being sick. Her head swam, and her stomach churned.
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