Chapter 89
***
“Useless bastard.”
A harsh curse escaped Feyden’s mouth.
He had worked so hard for an entire month to use polite language around the young Estira. Yet the moment she was gone for even a day or two, he found himself spouting crude words as if by reflex.
With a hollow laugh, Feyden concluded he’d never manage to clean up his vocabulary for the rest of his life.
He wasn’t one to dwell on useless thoughts, but Feyden couldn’t help it—if he didn’t distract himself somehow, he felt he might lose his mind worrying about Estira.
So he focused instead on things he disliked, like Ariel’s annoying face or voice.
***
“Do something about Estira!”
“I… I can’t. I’m not a healing priest…”
“Damn it! That wasn’t a lie too, was it? You said you weren’t a combat priest either!”
Holding the suddenly collapsed Estira in his arms, Feyden shouted urgently at Ariel, demanding he do something as a priest.
But Ariel, already pale, turned even whiter with panic. It was clear to Feyden that Ariel had no skill in healing, judging by how he only muttered the name of the angel he served.
A priest who couldn’t even heal someone—despite all the donations they took from their followers—was that even worthy of the title?
‘And why does a priest need to be a combat priest in the first place?’
Fighting was the job of mercenaries like Feyden. The temple wasted its resources training useless combat priests instead of fulfilling their actual duties, which was why they constantly begged for donations and faced the Emperor’s scrutiny.
‘I hate everything about priests, starting with their smug faces.’
By the time Feyden had mentally listed a hundred reasons to hate Ariel, he suddenly sprang up from where he had been crouched against the wall in the hallway.
The reason? The useless Ariel had finally brought a healing priest from the temple, and they had just finished treating Estira.
Without a second thought, Feyden shoved the door open and strode toward the healer.
“How’s Estira? Is she okay?”
“It’s just a simple cold.”
The healer, with their dull gold hair, completely ignored Feyden and addressed only Ariel, who had entered the room belatedly. Feyden, treated as invisible, clenched his fists tightly.
Are all priests like this?
Why were they all so infuriating?
Feyden, ready to snap at the healer, barely restrained himself when he heard the soft sound of Estira’s steady breathing in her sleep. Swallowing a curse, he carefully sat down on the chair beside her bed, watching her closely.
Even his gaze was cautious, afraid to disturb her rest.
Her damp, potato-colored hair clung to her forehead, her round cheeks flushed as if scorched by fire, and her delicate features were even more striking in the soft light.
Cute.
Feyden found himself unexpectedly flustered. Though he had seen Estira asleep countless times, today, she seemed different. It was as if he had witnessed something forbidden, leaving him feeling inexplicably guilty.
He shook his head vigorously and averted his gaze from her.
‘What’s wrong with me?’
The loud thudding of his heart in his chest felt alien. Even during life-and-death missions, his heart had never pounded this loudly or erratically. Feeling as though he couldn’t breathe, Feyden stood abruptly and left the room.
‘I need some fresh air.’
Maybe he’d caught Estira’s cold.
‘Why is it suddenly so hot?’
Looking up at the blazing sun in the sky, Feyden leaned against a shaded wall and crouched down. By some coincidence, the spot he chose was directly beneath the window of the room where Estira lay.
With a deep sigh, Feyden admitted to himself that he unconsciously wanted to stay close to her. As much as he considered her a companion, he also felt a growing fondness for her as a person.
Over the past month, Feyden had been more honest about his feelings and able to laugh freely when he was with Estira. He had even begun to look forward to their travels together.
But Feyden had completely forgotten that all of this stemmed from his own selfishness.
When their journey began, he had accepted a guild request to investigate her. Yet here he was, hoping to be seen as a trustworthy companion by Estira, to be someone she could rely on.
‘What an idiot.’
Feyden didn’t realize it himself, but the man who always started with suspicion and distrust had opened his heart to Estira and begun to build trust with her.
And so, he was filled with deep regret. If he could turn back time, he would have refused the guild’s request to investigate Estira.
Even though he knew it was too late.
‘What a mess.’
He wasn’t usually one to entertain pointless thoughts. Lately, though, his mind had been consumed by regrets over things he couldn’t change.
It felt as though something in his head had gone terribly wrong.
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