Chapter 161
Ragnar was reminded anew of the authority he possessed.
Just as a fish in water forgets the existence of the water, Ragnar was a ruler as naturally as he breathed. He had never considered his authority as anything special. As a high-ranking aristocrat, he was accustomed to ruling from birth.
But he had tried to wield his cruelest sword against the most humble and weakest being in his domain. Even if it was only for a moment, even if it was only an impulse.
There was only one reason why he could ultimately maintain his composure in front of Arzeletta.
It was because she had such, such a sad expression.
As she always had, Arzeletta looked up at him as if worshiping something dazzling and shed tears. They were tears that made the viewer feel as if their heart was breaking.
What was contained in those light-green eyes, before which he had knelt hundreds of times in his heart, was a deep sorrow that was too painful even to face.
It was unfair. He was the one who had been hurt. Ragnar was the one who had been rejected and abandoned.
But at that moment, Arzeletta was hurting as if she were the one who had been hurt.
Even as she pushed him away with desperate words, she was in agony as if she were the one being pushed away.
“……”
Ragnar let out a hollow laugh.
Perhaps even this was all a delusion he had created.
Just as he had truly believed that Arzeletta loved him while she was in his arms. It might have been a delusion created by his willful fantasies.
All the irrationality and wishful thinking he had scorned until now must have been blinding him.
In any case, he unclasped the fist he had clenched at Arzeletta’s tears. There was nothing else he could do.
Arzeletta was crying.
In front of him, so pitifully.
“…Don’t cry.”
Had he said that? With his reason, which was being extinguished by a black rage and jealousy, he had raised his hand at that moment and wiped Arzeletta’s tears.
It felt as if his soul was being ripped in half by her eyes that sparkled even more brightly, wet with tears, but he could not say anything else.
Because Arzeletta was crying, because she was sad.
Who had inflicted the wound and who was hurting more was not important at all at that moment.
“It’s not your fault.”
He could not bear to see her crying with such a face. Ragnar, just as when they had embraced each other without doubt, lifted Arzeletta’s face and wiped the tears that had soaked her cheeks with his lips.
The damp, trembling eyelashes, the soft cheek, and the quickening breath as his lips touched her made him feel dizzy.
“So please don’t cry.”
“……”
“I cannot bear it when you cry.”
It was a surrender, almost. He buried his nose in her hair and sighed deeply. Arzeletta, with her body soaked in the man’s traces barely covered by a sheet, inhaled his sigh.
Arzeletta had been secretly delighted in the moments when the mature Ragnar would sigh as if he couldn’t help it.
These fleeting touches and memories were all over now.
“…Now, even if you cry, I cannot comfort you.”
He felt Arzeletta inhale sharply. This sensitivity, her every reaction to his every word, made Ragnar feel dizzily ecstatic even at this moment.
“If you are doing it for me, do not cry, Arzeletta.”
“……”
“And… love to your heart’s content.”
Ragnar recalled the words he had said in that very place. It felt as if Arzeletta’s breath and scent were still lingering on his fingertips.
“You must be happy.”
He said that, with a heart like a person holding onto a falling flower petal. A mature person should do that.
And these words were a sincerity without any falsehood.
What was more painful than the hellish murderous intent he had felt for the person whose face he did not know was the assumption that Arzeletta might be crying somewhere.
Even if she were to experience all the joy, sorrow, desperation, and passion she had shared with him with someone else.
Even if just the thought of that brought a sense of despair as if all the muscles in his body were being torn apart.
It was better than her crying with such a face in a place he did not know.
He would find out eventually.
This was a domain where everyone would find out even that a cat had given birth to a few kittens in someone’s chimney.
All marriages within the domain had to pass through Ragnar’s hands. Because no one could get married without the Lord’s permission.
There would be no man who would reject Arzeletta.
She would be able to be happy with the person she wanted.
What he had wanted to give her, Arzeletta would get from the man she wanted.
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