From the Tip of the Tongue of the Lowliest Maid - Chapter 167

This work contains scenes of sadistic coercion and hardcore depictions of BDSM. Reader discretion is advised.

“…My Lord.”

Arzeletta cautiously called out to him in front of the bed curtains.

She could not muster the courage to go next to the bed where he was.

She felt that if she saw Ragnar, her courage would disappear. She felt that she would habitually burrow into his arms and act spoiled.

Perhaps… she might even begin to have the hope that he would forgive her.

“My Lord, it’s me.”

She called out to him with a trembling voice. Rustle, no reply was heard, but she could definitely feel a presence.

Arzeletta clasped her two trembling hands together. She put her lips to her clasped hands, as if offering a desperate prayer.

“I said I would never come again… but there is something I must tell you.”

“……”

“I have… committed an unforgivable act against you, My Lord. I don’t ask for forgiveness. I just…”

Her eyes grew hot again. Arzeletta desperately held back her tears. She intended not to cry at this moment. She should not cry now. She should not wish for any pity.

“I hope you recover, My Lord. To be as healthy as you were before…”

“……”

“I am a heretic.”

It was the word that had followed her most persistently until now. But it was the first time Arzeletta had said this word with her own mouth.

“I have been living in your holy land, My Lord… while hiding my identity as a heretic.”

“……”

“There was a heretical mark on my back. I was caught in a trap and was burning in the fire on the Derden mountain while caught in the trap.”

This was a lie.

But she was sure that even God would forgive this lie. It was a lie to protect Ragnar’s successor, who was chosen by God through a direct revelation.

“Theogrim saved me. My wings had already burned away… and so, Theogrim does not know my true identity. He was absolutely not trying to deceive you, My Lord.”

Arzeletta’s voice became slightly hurried. She shook her head once and continued speaking.

“I, I tempted Theogrim. So that he would not doubt my true identity… and that’s why…”

“……”

“I am the one who deceived everyone.”

All the sin was her responsibility to bear. She no longer wanted to hurt anyone else.

It was a desperate sincerity.

“To make the Rosenburg domain that you rebuilt into a heretic’s land… I tried to harm you, My Lord.”

“……”

“The sacrifices I had offered until now contained my blood. A heretic’s blood is… a poison to humans.”

Arzeletta’s body collapsed slowly. It was a sight as if her veil was sliding off. In the black and red moonlight, she knelt down quietly.

“I’m sorry.”

“……”

“I cannot deceive you any longer, My Lord. That’s why I couldn’t accept your proposal. I… I do not deserve to receive your love, My Lord.”

“……”

“You shouldn’t have cared for my wounds so fondly…”

The wounds covering her back were a huge deception. At least Ragnar should not have done that. He should not have kissed them so passionately and whispered that they were beautiful.

All that kindness towards a lie was finally breaking Arzeletta.

“I was happy… that you proposed to me.”

“……”

“To the point where it was frightening, to the point where it was terrifying.”

Arzeletta sobbed and laughed. It was a sincerity that she had not been able to convey. But she absolutely had to say these words.

“…To the point where I could dream for a little while.”

The words Ragnar had left her with broke her down ecstatically. It was a sacrifice, dedication, and love of a magnitude that Arzeletta had never even imagined before.

…For a little while, she had imagined it.

As Ragnar had said, herself in a bride’s gown, standing with him in the great temple.

Spending her days with him, having his children, learning things she did not know, and comforting his loneliness that no one else knew about.

But it was impossible from the beginning.

It was a dream that became sadder when she woke up because it was so beautiful.

“You gave me such love that I was able to find the courage.”

It was the truth. His sincerity and dedication had moved Arzeletta. Arzeletta was grateful that she had been able to experience such sincerity from such a noble person once in her life.

“…Thank you for letting me know that I can be loved.”

Something hot filled her throat. Her nose turned red from the sobs she barely swallowed. Arzeletta rubbed away the tears on the back of her hand before they overflowed.