Chapter 82
Hesna had once begged to be allowed to leave with guards watching her, but the only answer she got back was that they couldn’t waste high-grade manpower like knights on a place like that.
Because of that, Hesna couldn’t even attend her older sister’s funeral.
‘Even though I’m not even absolutely necessary…’
If they had let her go, they could have saved more Transcendents in the Nabel Empire. However, in the Nabel Empire, even B-Class and D-Class Transcendents were as useful as bombs, so they didn’t care about the deaths of Transcendents.
As a result, rumors about those actions spread, and Transcendents ended up flocking to the other two empires, yet their behavior still hadn’t changed.
‘I hear Desirée is completely taken with the Crown Prince, but I don’t know about Vera.’
Hesna flicked her gaze toward Vera, but she didn’t stare for long. Vera was the Guide who received Jeremiah’s greatest favor. Anyone else looking at her for too long was enough to make Jeremiah fly into a rage.
In any case, there probably wasn’t anyone among them who could be of help to her. A Transcendent with a high match rate could be used, but they couldn’t be trusted either.
‘All I can do is hope there’s someone in Karnan… who will help me.’
If she could only escape that vile bastard, she was prepared to accomplish anything.
* * *
As she watched the buttons of the pajama top pop off as if they were springing away, and his trousers being pulled down, Ephinia etched her own desire clearly.
I want this.
Guiding Kasselard was something she needed to do, but separate from that, she enjoyed being with him. How could she not? He said he loved her, and he acted devotedly, as if to prove those feelings.
No matter how that might change later, right now, it felt like it was real.
Her, a maid in the Caneze Viscountcy, and herself now, working as a Guide in the imperial palace. In truth, there might not have been any difference between the two. Not a single one of her choices was reflected in her life, and she was only pushed around by those around her.
In fact, she didn’t hate being a maid. She didn’t think it was base, the way nobles mocked it. She had thought that putting things in order, maintaining them, and making them clean was a beautiful thing, but not being able to choose was a nauseating thing.
Not being able to receive fair compensation for labor, and the fact that there were people who belittled that work. That was why Ephinia couldn’t love that work.
Maybe she had felt joy in moments, but the abuse and exploitation that followed bruised her.
But now?
Your guiding is ‘work’?
She was definitely doing it because she was being forced to, but meeting Kasselard… in the end, it had become enjoyable. She liked how he reacted to her guiding, and she wanted to excite him more.
Even though she knew she couldn’t have him, and even though she believed the words of a noble, of a royal at that, couldn’t be trusted, she still wanted to believe them.
She wanted to have him.
‘Why can’t I? This is the first time I’ve ever felt like I want something this badly. And he says he likes me, too.’
Ah, but that was far too difficult. Because he was the Crown Prince. Helena Caneze’s voice, the one that had put her down as low and lacking, was still vivid in her ears.
‘Do you think a filthy, lowly girl like you would have a right to choose?’
A commoner. A girl, sold for a few silver coins, skinny and shabby. She had wanted to learn, but she couldn’t, and not knowing anything always made her shrink back.
But I’ve met Helena Caneze before.
Had she only met her? She slapped her twice. It had felt so satisfying. She only regretted that she hadn’t hit her more.
That woman was the truly pathetic one.
Starting with that noble who insisted he could spend a night with her for a few coins… countless people had belittled her, but that wasn’t true.
The dirty and ugly ones were that woman, and that man. And so was the world, full of those nobles, a world that only ever took from her.
But.
‘In my household, that sort of thing won’t be tolerated!’
There had been the old madam who protected her with firm words, and there had been the noblewoman who patted her head when she was young and pressed a hairpin into her hand. There had been a senior who bought her a bird-shaped ornament she liked at a festival she couldn’t go to… and the world awakened her as a Guide, and let her escape the Caneze Viscountcy, which had been like a small hell.
She hated it all, but she couldn’t only hate. Even in painful moments, there had been a small hole left for her to breathe through.
‘So…’
Is it okay for me to be greedy? Would it be okay to clutch onto this man who acts as if he’ll put anything into my hands?
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