Chapter 10
And in that sense…
Herman Telloien was her best option.
The fact that he wasn’t exactly chaste didn’t bother her.
‘He’s not impotent, not addicted to d***s or gambling, has no debts, and doesn’t beat his wife.’
Sure, his love life was messy—but he wasn’t the type to aggressively seduce people. He was just… free-spirited, letting people come and go as they pleased.
‘Marry the ultimate trash husband, suffer abuse, and die a miserable villainess.’
Or…
‘Marry the rich, promiscuous husband, spend his money like water, and live as contract spouses—no strings attached.’
If there were two options, she had to choose the latter without fail.
‘Let him have his affairs if he wants.’
She could console herself with money, after all.
Esina smiled brightly as she looked at Herman’s face—the kind of face that turned all other men into squids in comparison.
‘Maybe I could just live off his looks alone.’
It was a belated realization, but up close, Herman was truly a beautiful man. His delicate yet decadent features lived up to their reputation. It was almost strange how women could leave him alone.
She wanted to give Herman’s face extra points over the male lead of this story, who was handsome in a kind, good-natured way. Dark, sensual features like his were much more to her taste.
‘And what about his body?’
Even tightly buttoned up in his jacket, his broad shoulders and chest hinted at a solid, well-built frame. It was hard to believe the rumors that he had been sickly as a child.
‘All things considered… among the trash I could choose, he’s a diamond-tier piece of garbage.’
So she could easily say she liked him, that she loved him.
Never mind that she no longer believed in love.
“Esina Lehier.”
As if he had sensed her hidden thoughts, Herman’s reaction to her confession remained cold. In fact, from the moment she brought up love, his previously intrigued demeanor had cooled entirely. He even stood up as if to end the conversation.
“Stop spouting nonsense—”
‘I thought he was almost convinced?’
Thrown off by his sudden change, Esina pressed on. If she lost momentum now, death was all that awaited her.
“It’s not a lie. I really did like you.”
“Since when?”
“…Ever since the day Herman first came here to see Brother Roger.”
“You couldn’t even make eye contact with me, and yet?”
“…Of course I couldn’t—because I liked you!”
“……”
“Back then, I was extremely prone to embarrassment, you see.”
At her shameless expression, Herman let out an involuntary scoff.
“And now you’re not?”
“I decided seizing the chance was better than never saying a word.”
Herman exhaled an exasperated sigh at her immediate reply. Then, with a crooked, mocking smile, he spoke again.
“If you want to marry me, you’ll have to kill those feelings first.”
“……”
“Love? Is there any emotion more meaningless than that?”
Esina nearly nodded fervently before catching herself—because, well, she agreed on that part.
Interpreting her gaze in his own way, Herman pressed further, as if testing how far she’d endure.
“Don’t expect me to change my ways just because we’re married.”
“……”
“Freedom in life is the value I cherish most.”
In short, he’d keep flitting from one woman to another, living as promiscuously as ever. Esina wasn’t surprised. She’d expected this much.
As she processed this, Herman spoke again, emphasizing his point.
“So if you truly want to marry me—whatever feelings you have, kill them.”
Without hesitation, Esina replied.
“I’ll kill them.”
“……”
“I told you, didn’t I? I won’t care what you do.”
“Esina Lehier.”
“I won’t bind you. That’s my way of love.”
Not daring to waste the opportunity, Esina grabbed Herman’s hand with both of hers and pressed it over her left chest. His eyes widened in shock.
“Here. I swear on my heart.”
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