Chapter 78
“I don’t want to die, not exactly. Seeing myself make such a spectacle, begging to live the moment I lost my senses from drinking… I suppose I want to live more than I thought. But, Seikan…”
Looking into his wavering blue eyes, I spoke bitterly.
“It’s just… I’m tired.”
The will to live, which had clung to me so fiercely, seemed to have vanished abruptly after the day I was supposed to die.
“So, right now, I don’t want to see you. Seeing you is too painful. The resentment, the hatred… it’s all too much.”
“Adelina…”
“Let’s go, Lumiere.”
Brushing past Seikan, I tugged on Lumiere’s arm. Witnessing Seikan’s desperate plea from so close, Lumiere’s expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable in her eyes before she allowed herself to be led away.
As I closed the library door, I glanced back at Seikan. He stood with his back to me, as if frozen in place by a curse the moment I’d let go of his hand. His back was a portrait of despair. I turned away, unable to bear the sight.
The reason I felt no satisfaction at his despair was because my life was intertwined with his.
***
Returning to my room, filled with a bitter sense of emptiness, I found a servant waiting with a silver tray.
“What is this?”
“It was sent from the temple, Your Highness.”
“The temple?”
I had just been there. Why would they send something after me?
Puzzled, I picked up the letter and saw the sender’s name. “Ah,” I breathed.
It was from Priestess Leah. I had sent a letter to the temple, but since I wasn’t there to receive a reply, they’d sent it to the palace.
“Thank you.”
The servant bowed and left. Sitting on the bed, I opened the envelope. A neatly folded letter and something else fell out.
“A bracelet?”
It was a string bracelet, woven with colorful threads, the craftsmanship a little clumsy. I tilted my head, the red bracelet dangling from my fingers, and unfolded the letter, my eyes scanning the neat handwriting.
It began with the usual pleasantries.
Priestess Leah, a high-ranking priestess, periodically left the temple to dedicate herself to charity and service. She wrote that she had something she felt compelled to share.
“[…And so, the child who was treated with the medicinal herbs that you, Acolyte Adelina, retrieved has been accepted into the Academy.]”
Those who had received aid from the temple rarely forgot their benefactors.
Priestess Leah had been distributing grain in a small village and encountered a child she had helped long ago. The child had recognized her and approached her.
“[It was a rare disease, curable only by the root of the Methylo. Do you remember? If you hadn’t retrieved it, this child would have returned to the embrace of the Divine. Now, healthy and thriving, they are poised to become one of the empire’s future luminaries. The Divine’s will is truly magnificent.]”
The devout letter continued, explaining the bracelet. The child, despite their meager circumstances, wanted to express their gratitude. They had earned a few coins, bought some thread, and woven their very first bracelet.
Though the craftsmanship was lacking, Priestess Leah asked me to cherish it as a token of the child’s heartfelt appreciation. The words made me crumple the letter slightly.
The letter went on to describe the child’s boundless gratitude towards me, their savior, and towards the heroes who protected their homeland.
“[By the time this child graduates from the Academy, this world, steeped in the Divine’s grace, will surely shine even brighter. I pray that you, Acolyte Adelina, will recover your health soon and witness this glorious sight with me.]”
The letter concluded with Priestess Leah’s hopeful words, reflecting her optimistic nature.
The final period, placed with the same elegance that characterized Priestess Leah, felt like a stone settling heavily on my chest.
If I were to retort with something cynical about “the Divine’s grace,” it would be an insult to her devout life.
And it would be disrespectful to the child who felt such gratitude towards me.
All I had done was give away a root I’d obtained while clearing out an auction house.
I flung myself onto the bed, the letter crumpled in my hand.
Shielding my eyes from the dazzlingly ornate ceiling with my arm, I thought, Do I have the right to shatter the life of a child who, having overcome the brink of death, now looks forward to a bright future?
Can I allow Priestess Leah, who has dedicated her life to serving others and praising the Divine, to die because of me?
“What do you want from me…?” I whispered to the heavens.
Did the Divine want me to fully embrace the role that was originally Hestia’s?
But if that were the case, couldn’t they at least take Clovis off my hands? Three is already a burden, but four…? And with the added pressure of being the crown prince? It’s like they’re trying to crush me under the weight of it all.
“Ugh!”
I tossed the letter to the foot of the bed. My fingers brushed against something. Something soft, yet firm. Long and flowing.
Turning my gaze, I saw a string bracelet, clumsily woven with red and white thread, dangling from my fingertips.
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