Chapter 5
Kallion glared at me as though even that smile were suspicious, then rose and left.
I stared quietly at his retreating back.
Until just before our marriage, I had gone around making it painfully obvious how much I liked him. Of course he would find it suspicious that I had suddenly become so indifferent.
But now, even looking at him truly did not make my heart race. If my heart did race, it would probably be from an emotion closer to hatred.
Remembering the way his face had openly shown his wariness and displeasure toward me, a hollow laugh escaped me.
What on earth had my past self liked so much about a man who was that disgusted by me that I had obsessed over him so desperately?
Just as he had said, like a woman with absolutely no pride.
What was so important about that first meeting anyway?
As I recalled the past, a self-deprecating sneer soon escaped me.
Right. Back then, I had been painfully starved for attention and kindness. To that little girl, his indifferent consideration must have felt like the touch of an angel.
* * *
My childhood was lonely and bleak.
One of the many children of House Heister. And among them, the smallest and most insignificant child. That was me.
House Heister had governed the power of the Fire Spirit for generations, but that power had weakened with each passing generation. To overcome this, my father, the current head of the house, fathered countless children.
Because the house’s ability was inherited only by men, it was an attempt to produce as many sons as possible.
But among seven sons and five daughters, aside from the eldest son, who had inherited even a faint trace of that power, none of my other siblings possessed so much as a speck of the ability.
The siblings who had no ability had to struggle desperately to earn Father’s acknowledgment. Naturally, this created an atmosphere of competition.
Jealousy, envy, and vicious schemes also ran rampant among the concubines and mistresses he had taken in order to have so many children.
Among them, I was the smallest and frailest, which made me their easiest target and the person they vented their anger on.
My mother had died giving birth to me, so there was no one to protect me. The man called my father could barely even remember his children’s faces, so there was no chance he would pay any attention to me.
No, I was certain he had forgotten I even existed.
It was much later that I began to notice signs of the ability.
After I fell ill at around eight years old, my entire body burning as though I had been thrown into a pit of fire.
The moment I saw the strange sensation gathering in my palm and the dazzling flame, I realized that the Fire Spirit had taken root within me.
But even at that young age, I instinctively knew that if I revealed it among my siblings and Father’s women, it wouldn’t end with simple bullying.
On top of that, I had been born a woman and couldn’t inherit the house, so there was even less chance Father would acknowledge it. If anything, he might use me for the sake of the eldest son.
And so I concealed myself even more completely and lived while holding my breath.
Like someone who didn’t exist, careful not to draw anyone’s attention, doing whatever I was told, quietly, like a shadow.
That day was no different.
A banquet hosted by House Heister.
Brilliant light poured from inside the enormous hall, but I sat alone in the garden, simply staring at it.
‘I’m hungry…’
All I could do was wait for the banquet to end quickly.
If I was lucky, I might be able to eat some of the food left over from the banquet.
My siblings who had earned Father’s favor or had influential mothers were probably inside that light, eating warm, delicious food, but that was a world far removed from mine.
All I could do was stare blankly at that light from far away.
That was when it happened.
“Was there already a guest here?”
A boy with ink-black hair like a starless night sky was staring blankly down at me.
Unlike me, he seemed to have come here to escape the brilliant lights, as though he found them bothersome.
“Little one, mind if I share this spot?”
Little one…
The one saying it was himself still fresh-faced, only just beginning to lose his boyishness.
Without complaint, I nodded.
He sat on the bench opposite me and rested his elbows on his knees as though tired.
It wasn’t difficult to realize that the boy was from Baldomer.
Black hair, violet eyes, and a tailcoat embroidered with Baldomer’s crest.
Contrary to the vicious rumors surrounding them, he looked remarkably neat and refined for someone from Baldomer.
I thought his dark, ink-colored hair gleaming beneath the moonlight and his mysterious amethyst eyes looked almost otherworldly.
As I stole glances at him, my stomach chose that exact moment to growl loudly.
Groooowl—
My face flushed, and I quickly lowered my head.
I could feel his gaze fixed on me.
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