Chapter 48

Days continued where Lucas stopped visiting, and Tristan was nowhere to be seen. Everything seemed to have returned to how it was before meeting the two of them.

Especially Lucas’s empty space, who had been by my side every day, kept catching my eye.

“It’s quiet.”

For a while, I couldn’t think about Lucas because of Tristan’s visit. Everything should feel peaceful now that things have stabilized, but…

I recalled Lucas’s excited voice speaking to me.

“What do you think about the hypothesis that Lord Kashian preferred black clothes?”

“They don’t show dirt easily, so that’s what I’d wear.”

“Indeed! Perhaps she saved time changing clothes to devote herself to swordsmanship.”

“Something like that.”

I couldn’t understand his excitement over such trivial facts about Kashian, but I was secretly pleased. I wondered if I would have regretted it had I spoken more gently to Lucas.

‘It was something I had to do.’

Even when trying to focus on massaging the doll’s shoulders, my mind kept wandering.

Like the wavering look in Lucas’s eyes.

Who would have thought the childhood personality of a character who becomes a mid-boss in the original story could be so cute? If he could receive proper attention and care at the right time.

That child would grow into a much stronger person than someone like my past self.

“Dame Kashian was always dignified and protected the weak—a noble person.”

Lucas misunderstood Kashian.

My past life as Kashian wasn’t as wonderful as Lucas thought. Back then, I was filled only with the fear of not wanting to die.

For some reason, when I was Kashian, I only recovered my past life memories right before death.

‘That’s why I lived so fiercely.’

Life was so precious, and I wanted to see the peaceful era that would come after the war ended. Even after realizing I had lived over thirty lives at the moment of death, regret remained for unfulfilled desires.

That regret hardened into a lingering attachment.

Until Lucas, a person from the distant future, mourned my death.

If only I had truly been the strong person Lucas believed me to be.

“Does the doll’s spirit think I did wrong, too?”

“……”

“I know he can’t be happy, but I wish he could be.”

I didn’t deserve to be his friend when I couldn’t resolve to change the original story. No one would pretend not to see the death awaiting their friend in the future.

So not getting any closer was beneficial for both him and me.

“What a coward…”

I wondered if the spirit inside the doll wasn’t speaking because it was disappointed in me. I gently stroked the cheek of the silent doll.

It was regrettable that the first and last words I heard from the spirit were insults.

Just as I finished massaging the doll’s shoulders, Sen, who had been away, returned with a letter.

“Grand Princess! A letter has arrived from Lord Lucas!”

“Lucas sent me a letter?”

“Yes. Look carefully, Lord Lucas’s official seal is stamped on the envelope.”

“Are you sure it’s not a mistake?”

Considering our last meeting, I didn’t think Lucas would send me a letter. Though doubtful, I opened the letter Sen handed me.

I could recognize Lucas’s handwriting from having seen it several times before.

[To Liat.

Father told me to stay by your side, but I neglected my duties for personal reasons. I’m sorry for acting immaturely. And I have something to say about our previous conversation.

If it’s alright with you, please come to the designated place in the library.]

In the part where the name was written, there were faint traces of erasing and rewriting several times. It seemed Lucas had originally intended to write “comrade” instead of my name.

You remain steadfast and kind.

“Sen, I need to go to the library.”

I wanted to hear what Lucas had to say to me, whatever it was. Sen seemed to have guessed something from my sudden announcement about going to the library.

With a faint smile, Sen lowered her voice and asked.

“Grand Princess, you actually had a fight with Lord Lucas, didn’t you?”

The maids only knew that Lucas couldn’t come because he was busy with swordsmanship lessons. Feeling caught, I shrugged my shoulders, and Sen stroked the top of my head.

With a kind look of understanding, Sen continued gently.

“I actually think it’s fortunate. People can’t always get along well.”

“It was my fault.”

“Yes. Then it’s even better. You can apologize now and rebuild your relationship.”

“…We shouldn’t get close.”

Sen seemed to dismiss my words as childish remarks after a quarrel. I was about to say it wasn’t such a simple matter but held back.

Sen placed her palm over my hand, which was hugging the doll, and asked.

“Would you like me to accompany you to the meeting place?”

“No. Lucas asked me to come alone. Just go with me to the entrance.”

“The library has strict security, so it shouldn’t be dangerous, but you still need to be careful.”

Sen filled my hood pocket with candies for Lucas and me to eat. My heart pounded the entire way to the library with Sen.

In truth, I was curious about how Lucas had been doing during our time apart.

‘I should apologize.’

It would be better if Lucas would just be angry with me when we meet again. The Lucas I knew was far removed from the mad dog in the original story.

A child striving to become a hero.

Lucas, with such diligence, was closer to the hero he spoke of.

***

The library I visited after a long time was as quiet as before. I later heard that the facility was maintained by magic, so no separate caretaker was needed.

After parting with Sen at the library entrance, I set out to find Lucas.

“Lucas, are you there?”

I arrived at the meeting place indicated in the letter, but Lucas was nowhere to be seen. I quickly ran toward a presence I sensed nearby.

The person there wasn’t Lucas.

“Tristan?”

A familiar figure stood with arms crossed under a large window.

Even in the darkness, his red hair was clearly recognizable. The red hair with a pinkish tint looked warm at first glance.

‘His appearance is truly angelic.’

But what was Tristan’s purpose for being in the library?

I felt conflicted between wanting to run away and needing to find Lucas. In the end, the scale tipped toward Lucas.

“Tristan, have you seen Lucas around here?”

“My brother isn’t coming.”

“No. Lucas said he’d be here. He even sent me a letter.”

“Look here. Does it look like my brother would come?”

Tristan pointed with his chin to the window above his head. The firmly locked window was covered with curtains, giving it a darker feel compared to other places.

‘Is it a broken window?’

I thought I glimpsed a notice about a broken lock inside the curtain. Come to think of it, the ceiling light in this area was broken too.

Tristan spoke triumphantly.

“My brother can’t come to a place like this. He’s afraid of dark places because of memories from the accident.”

“You mean when the Grand Duchess died?”

“Unlike me, my brother was there at the scene.”

“So Lucas was there during that accident.”

I recalled Lucas’s hand, twisted bones, and blisters making it a mess. I had thought his obsession with strength was strange.

‘Perhaps Lucas…’

Lucas might have had a reason to train desperately. Just like me back then, wandering through battlefields at a young age.

Maybe I was the one who didn’t understand.

I neither acknowledged nor comforted that desperate heart training so earnestly. All I did was deny the hero he admired to his face.

While making excuses that I shouldn’t get closer to him.

“What have I done?”

Tristan twisted his lips, seeing my noticeably darkened face. Every word he spoke to me was filled with malice.

“Looks like you’re finally realizing your place.”

“Tell me where Lucas is.”

“I just told you. My brother won’t come here. Can’t you understand you’ve been tricked?”

“No. Lucas is somewhere in the library.”

When I firmly denied it, confusion spread across Tristan’s confident expression. Seeing his agitated face gave me certainty.

‘The letter was indeed written by Lucas.’

If it’s impossible to imitate trained handwriting, the only part that could be tampered with would be the map.

“You messed with the map, didn’t you?”

“……”

Lucas would be waiting for me at the real meeting place somewhere in this library.

“You wanted me to miss the meeting place so Lucas and I would completely fall out.”

If you want your brother’s attention, you should plan with consideration for his feelings. I had no patience to deal with Tristan’s immature jealousy.

“I’m going to find Lucas.”

“…Damn it.”

“Then I’ll go first.”

Having assessed the situation, I turned my back on Tristan without hesitation.

“Wait.”

I heard Tristan calling from behind but didn’t look back. Just as I was about to take a step, the bookshelf right next to me collapsed.

“I said wait!”

As soon as I took another step, there was a loud boom and the surrounding bookshelves shook. Only then did I turn to look at Tristan and held my breath.

‘He’s crying.’

Above the purple eyes swirling with all sorts of emotions, anger was overlaid. Eyes deeply furrowed in frustration at crying and tears falling one after another.

His voice, wet with moisture, clung stickily to my ears.

“It’s all because of you. Stirring up feelings as you please about what’s precious or whatever. Then acting like you don’t need love.”

“When did I ever do that?”

“Shut up! If I say you did, then you did!”

“What kind of nonsense is that!”

I was getting irritated with Tristan blocking my way when I was in a hurry. His eyes widened as if he hadn’t expected me to shout at him.

His expression twisted like a wounded beast, and the magical power that had been fluctuating exploded.

KWAAANG!

Feeling the heat enveloping my entire body, I realized the danger of the situation.

‘I need to calm him down first.’

Although the damaged books were concerning, the biggest danger was elsewhere. Unfortunately, being in a library meant there were many materials that could catch fire.

I approached him one step at a time and began to speak.

“Tristan, let’s resolve this through conversation…”

“You’ve come to hate me too!”

“Tristan.”

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re thinking you wish I would disappear, too, aren’t you?”

“I neither particularly like nor dislike—”

Before I could finish speaking, the magical power swirling around Tristan took the form of fire.

It was a precursor to magical power going berserk.