Chapter 33
Lucian lifted his blue eyes to Asteria.
“Do you find my touch unpleasant?”
“That is not the issue.”
“If you were anything but my Saintess, I would have made you my woman without fail. In other words, I am exercising tremendous restraint even now.”
Her nobility and purity stirred a fierce desire in him. That he stopped here at all was, by Lucian’s measure, a considerable feat of self-control.
“Why do you concern yourself with the Empress’s affairs?”
“Because I exist to guide Your Majesty down the righteous path.”
“The Empress is not necessarily what is righteous for me.”
“But the two of you have already held an imperial wedding.”
Lucian let out a short, exasperated sigh.
“So you would refuse my touch because of the Empress?”
“There is that, but… Your Majesty’s desire for me goes against the Saintess’s duty.”
Asteria looked at him with imploring eyes. His resolve softened.
“Please, I beg of you.”
Tears welled in Asteria’s violet eyes.
“Please do not desire me any longer.”
“Why not? Do you not want me?”
“I wish to fulfill my duty as the Saintess. To be unable to do so is the most agonizing thing I know.”
“Has my desire… caused you such suffering?”
Asteria did not answer, but her eyes spoke volumes.
“…I will not desire you for the time being.”
Lucian added a caveat.
“However, I cannot say how long that will last.”
“The effort alone would be enough to earn my gratitude.”
“Why must you be the Saintess? If only you were my Empress instead.”
“Please do not say such frightening things.”
Even had Asteria not been the Saintess, a woman of the Lumines clan could never ascend to the position of Empress. The Lumines had no interest in wealth or honor, and they were a humble people in the eyes of the world.
“Had I not been the Saintess, there would have been no occasion for me to meet Your Majesty at all.”
“That is likely true. When I think of it that way, I suppose I should be grateful you are the Saintess.”
The thought that he might never have known Asteria existed made the current situation seem preferable by far.
Her presence had already taken deep root within him. And it was not merely a matter of indulgence or pleasure.
Simply gazing into Asteria’s serene eyes, sharing the same quiet space, it brought Lucian a peace he could find nowhere else. For a man burdened by the demands of the empire, it was a respite as sweet as honey.
“When I am by your side, my heart is at ease even without a word spoken. Enough to make me forget I am Emperor.”
The Emperor’s responsibilities were immense. He was the most powerful man in the empire and on the entire continent.
For Lucian, a space where he could catch his breath was not a luxury but a necessity.
“Are all the Lumines clan like you?”
“I wouldn’t know. I have never met anyone from the clan besides the Elder.”
“Your world is so very small.”
The thought weighed on Lucian’s heart, as though it were somehow his fault. With so much in the world to see, she had spent her entire life confined to this Sanctuary.
And yet Asteria’s purity shone precisely because of it. Because she had been utterly isolated from the outside world and all that unfolded in it.
“May I come again tomorrow?”
“That is for Your Majesty to decide.”
“Then I shall come again tomorrow.”
Lucian rose from his seat. Asteria stood as well.
“There is no need to see me off.”
He opened the door and left.
Alone at last, Asteria let out a long sigh. She felt relieved that the day had passed without incident.
And yet Lucian’s cold demeanor the moment she mentioned the Empress lingered uneasily in her mind.
* * *
The next day, Isadora received an unpleasant report.
“Say that again.”
“Yes. Last evening, Her Majesty the Empress extended a dinner invitation to His Majesty, but His Majesty rose from his seat in less than ten minutes.”
“Was there a quarrel?”
“No, nothing of the sort… His Majesty was simply cold to her, entirely of his own accord.”
Sophia reported with care.
“And immediately afterward, His Majesty visited the White Tower.”
There was nothing in this palace that Sophia did not know. Such was the fruit of Isadora’s having planted eyes and ears in every corridor.
“That tiresome Saintess again.”
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