If You Leave Without a Word - Chapter 266

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Even after returning to the estate, Cain found himself simply waiting for the appointed time. Though he sat with Agatha during dinner, he barely touched his food, too distracted by thoughts of what Josef might want to say that required summoning him to a slum.

Especially since, ever since his injury, Josef had rarely left his quarters except on the Emperor’s orders. Cain couldn’t imagine how Josef even knew about such a rundown tavern.

“Um, Sir.”

Agatha approached as he sat lost in thought, about to head upstairs after dinner.

“Yes, Agatha?”

He quickly collected himself and looked up to find Agatha gazing at him with a troubled expression. He wondered if he had made some mistake at dinner and racked his memory for anything he might have done wrong.

“There’s something I’d like to discuss. And… I have a question too.”

“Of course. Please, go ahead.”

“Actually… not here. I’d prefer if we could talk somewhere more private…”

Her hesitant face made it clear she wanted a discreet, one-on-one conversation. Cain wiped his lips with a napkin and got up to follow her.

“Yes, let’s go to the study.”

Evening prayers at the temple were approaching, but he figured they could finish the conversation before then. He called the head maid to bring tea to the study, then followed Agatha upstairs.

All the while, his mind was whirling. He was trying his best not to repeat past mistakes, and at the top of his list was always Agatha. He was never letting a word she said go unheeded. It was a promise to himself, and to her.

When they reached the study, Cain held the heavy door open so she could enter—knowing she’d never be able to push it open herself.

“I’d like to choose a name for the baby.”

Agatha said with a serious face. Although it was a request, as the child’s father, it was more of an obligation—something he should have done already. Still, Agatha must have found it difficult to bring up, given how distant he’d been from the baby.

A name… Was he really worthy of giving the child a name?

Cain hesitated, unable to answer right away. Every time he stood before the child, he felt himself shrink. In truth, this stemmed from guilt toward Agatha, not just the baby. Considering how the child came to be, he could never meet their eyes without feeling ashamed.

“I’ll think about it.”

Agatha looked both relieved and slightly disappointed. Relief, because he hadn’t outright refused, but disappointment too, because it was clear that, all these months, he hadn’t even considered naming the baby until she brought it up.

To name a child is to accept responsibility for them. Cain still hadn’t decided if he could do that. Above all, he wasn’t even sure he’d live long enough to fulfill that responsibility.

He’d fought in countless battles, always believing he could die at any moment. Taking a life meant being ready to offer up your own; it was only fair.

He remembered, as vividly as yesterday, the moment he first held his child. A new life cradled in hands so used to blood and death…

“Commander, we’ve arrived.”

Ethan announced. Cain drew back the curtain and glanced outside. The street was shrouded in dusk, the alleys lined with huddled bodies and scattered trash that reeked.

The stench made him wrinkle his nose. He still had no idea why Josef had called him here, when they could have met privately at Josef’s residence.

The fact that Josef insisted on this secretive meeting—in such a place, at such an hour—made Cain all the more uneasy. Everyone knew they were close friends, so having him over wouldn’t arouse suspicion. Why then, all this secrecy?

Lost in these thoughts, Cain stepped down from the carriage.

Josef had insisted on this shabby, cramped wagon to keep the meeting as discreet as possible. Riding horses would have been faster but too conspicuous. No one seeing this ragged wagon would ever suspect that Marquis Vernat was inside.