If You Leave Without a Word - Chapter 285

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

It was the same name as the person who had sent an unsolicited gift to Duke Kristin’s birthday celebration last time. Havel easily recalled how Cain had repeatedly instructed him to report immediately if anything bearing that name ever arrived at the estate.

He never imagined he’d see that name again after so much time had passed. Havel’s expression hardened as he deliberated: should he open the envelope and check the contents first, or simply show it to Cain as is?

Of course, the latter was correct, but Cain had been so busy acting as acting commander in the capital that he only returned home once or twice a week. There had been no word from him since he left the estate a few days ago, and no telling when he’d be back.

“What should I do?”

Deep wrinkles formed between Havel’s brows. After pondering a little longer, he decided to wait until the next morning for Cain to return. If he still didn’t show, Havel would handle it himself.

He carefully tucked the envelope into his jacket, his face resolute.

By the time Cain reached the estate, it was already the faint light of dawn. Just a few hours left until morning. Cain, who had planned to finally talk with Agatha about the baby’s name tonight, now felt awkward.

Hadn’t he already left her alone with the excuse of being busy before? He had promised himself not to make the same mistake again, not long ago.

Regret always comes too late, no matter how soon. So it’s best not to do anything that brings regret in the first place. After all the painful things he’d endured, Cain had decided never to do anything he’d regret, at least not to Agatha.

This sense that things were becoming too much like the past was surely not just his imagination. With a sigh, Cain looked around the eerily silent house and started climbing the stairs. The carpet that muffled his footsteps felt soft as down, but his exhaustion was so deep he barely noticed it.

Step after step, as he ascended to the upper floor where his bedroom was, Cain’s mind kept returning to thoughts of Agatha. In the midst of all his complicated duties, thoughts of her quickly grew and filled his mind.

The mission from the Crown Prince, the Grand Duke who was clearly holding his sister hostage, revenge for his family and his people. For the moment, he wanted to set it all aside. He longed to shake off his tangled thoughts and simply rest.

When was the last time he’d gone to bed without worry? It was a distant memory.

If only he could be at Agatha’s side, hold her soft body in his arms, and lose himself in her sweet scent, he would finally feel at peace. Following these thoughts, Cain found himself yearning for her presence even more.

Maybe that’s why, instead of heading to his own bedroom, he found himself walking toward Agatha’s room.

His steps quickened as he made his way to the far end of the hall. At first he hesitated, but soon he was nearly hurrying.

He’d felt this way before, years ago. Walking down the corridor, Cain remembered his painful mistakes of the past. Never again, he told himself. He’d sworn it, and had even managed to give up drinking for quite some time.

For someone who used to drown his fatigue, gloom, and anger in alcohol, giving it up was no easy feat.

“Who…? Oh—Marquis!”

The maid standing guard outside Agatha’s door shot to her feet. It was so late at night she hadn’t expected anyone to be up, let alone the master of the house.

“Is Agatha asleep?”

“Yes, my lord. Madam retired early tonight.”

“And the baby?”

“The young master is with the nanny. I heard that, since Madam was so tired after returning from the palace, they arranged it that way to give her some rest.”

“I see.”

He suddenly missed the feel of the baby’s soft body in his arms. And then, surprised at the unfamiliar longing, Cain was startled by his own feelings, though he didn’t show it outwardly.

He’d never been one for physical affection, whether with women, men, children, or the elderly. For someone with so many secrets to keep, it was a survival instinct. Perhaps there were others who managed to live a dissolute life while hiding just as much, but for Cain, protecting his secret for the sake of avenging his family had always come first.

At times when things were truly unbearable, he’d resorted to alcohol. But only in the safety of his own house and his own room. He knew that if he ever lost control elsewhere, it could lead to a fatal mistake.

“How much longer until Agatha wakes?”

“Pardon? Oh. Madam usually rises quite early. I expect she’ll ring for the maids before sunrise, since she went to bed earlier than usual tonight.”

The maid, still new to the estate, answered nervously. Although she had worked for other noble households, this was her first time serving in such a grand house.