Chapter 104
“…What should I do with you?”
Muttering softly, he reached out his hand. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to touch her, only pretending to brush the back of her hand.
It was laughable. He pretended to touch, while she pretended to be touched. The fact that this was all they could do made his chest ache.
There was far too much he needed to do. Having decided how to deal with Eshar, he could no longer go on living as if he were already dead.
From her perspective, with the ‘Guide’ holding the hilt of the blade, there could be no better choice than Euphen. After all, Euphen could never turn away from Eshar.
The more he pushed things forward through conversations with her, the more he met with others and made preparations step by step, the sharper the vigilance of the other Imperial royals grew.
His head throbbed. If he had been ambitious and prepared in advance for the throne, it would have been easier. But until now, hadn’t he been someone with no desire at all? Being later than his siblings, he had no choice but to move even more diligently.
At the same time, finding a way to free Lynette was anything but easy. In fact, in some sense, it was harder than contending for the throne. Even Shirin, who had a great interest in ancient magic, had said flatly, “There is no such magic.”
He mimed stroking her uninjured cheek, then lowered his head. When he brought his lips close to her forehead, he could feel a faint heat. Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath, then sat back in his chair as if nothing had happened.
He had already prepared himself for the possibility that there might come a day when he could never touch her again. Euphen’s only unease was the fact that Lynette had a ‘true fated partner.’ That man touched her every day, spent time with her, and saw the emotions she could never reveal.
‘In front of me, she only tries to smile…’
Yet before Sillian, she cried, laughed, and even grew angry as if she had nothing to hide.
If he told her that he preferred such blatant emotions to her constant smiles, would she laugh again?
Euphen slowly closed his eyes, then opened them. Just looking at her cheek, stained purple with bruises, made his teeth grind. He wanted to shred that man’s corpse into pieces.
Wouldn’t it be safer to let her be with him instead?
The thought, buried deep down, rose suddenly to the surface, and he clamped his mouth shut. Rationally, he knew it would be better to let her live somewhere quiet with that guard rather than get caught up in the bloody struggle for the throne and end up hurt like this. But his heart simply could not accept it.
‘If Eshar awakens, Lynette will…’
…It would be better to let her go. When that time comes, he would no longer even have the excuse of ‘Guiding out of necessity.’
He rose to his feet and clenched his fists. When he thought of Lynette’s condition, he wanted Eshar to awaken as soon as possible. But when he thought that letting her go was the ‘right thing,’ he found himself wishing she would never awaken at all.
Euphen left the room with a dark expression.
***
Lynette’s fingertips stirred. Euphen had kissed her forehead. She should have felt pain, but instead there had only been his warm breath and gentle heat. That was how she knew it was just a dream.
It was bitter. Was the dream the only place she could truly feel him?
Was he still by her side?
When he held her hand, she didn’t want to sleep, but as soon as she closed her eyes, the drowsiness swept her under.
She opened her eyes slowly. The late afternoon sunlight filtered faintly through the curtains.
Blinking several times, the dim room gradually came into view. Someone was sitting in the chair beside her bed.
With a faint trace of expectation, Lynette whispered softly.
“Your Highness?”
At her words, the large man inclined his head slightly and leaned closer.
“Waking up from sleep only to call for His Highness?”
“…Ah, Sillian.”
“Are you disappointed?”
Instead of answering, she raised herself up. In the morning her body had felt heavy as lead, but after taking medicine and resting well, she was able to move a little better now.
Seeing her struggling slightly, Sillian silently helped her lean against the pillows.
“You came for the Guiding, didn’t you?”
“It’s fine even if you skip it for a day.”
“That’s not why you came?”
“I came to visit you.”
Lynette absent-mindedly nodded, then suddenly touched her forehead at the thought that came to her.
Could it have been Sillian who kissed her?
If so, then of course she wouldn’t have felt any pain.
“Since when have you been here?”
“For a little while.”
With that answer, the man lowered his head in apology.
“Forgive me. I know very well it’s improper to watch a lady while she sleeps, but I heard about what happened yesterday and was worried. I only meant to keep watch for a short while before leaving.”
Instead of reproaching him, Lynette touched her forehead again, as if some of the warmth still lingered there.
“I’m just glad it wasn’t as bad as I had imagined.”
She brushed off Sillian’s concern. What truly preoccupied her was who it had been that kissed her.
“Sillian.”
“Yes?”
“Did you… perhaps kiss me?”
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