Chapter 106
“…”
“I know it will sound selfish. But even so, I don’t want to spend my last moments in pain.”
Sillian’s gaze burned so sharply she could feel it.
“And I know as well that deep down, you must be thinking it doesn’t matter.”
“It’s not that I think it doesn’t matter.”
Lynette answered hastily.
“I’ve never… even thought about such a thing.”
She hadn’t even thought about living long in the first place. So she had never once imagined a so-called ‘peaceful death’ waiting for her. Until now, she had been too occupied worrying about other things.
“If I mean anything to you at all, then take better care of yourself.”
“I’m sorry.”
The man lowered his head and let out a long sigh.
“Even seeing me beg like this…”
His desperation was palpable. It was as if all the things he had been forcing down until now had burst forth.
He was a prince of a nation, yet because he was an Esper, he was reduced to pleading before his insignificant Guide. That sight lodged painfully in her chest. Lynette pressed her lips together and remained silent.
After some time, Sillian brushed his hair back and slowly rose from his seat.
“…I only came to see if you were all right, yet I’ve said too much nonsense.”
As he was about to leave, she quickly reached out her hand.
“Sillian, wait.”
He looked down quietly at her hand.
“I didn’t come here because of guiding.”
“I’m not saying this because of guiding either.”
Then Sillian slowly took her hand in his. Warmth spread through her skin.
Lynette quietly lifted her gaze to his red eyes. There was guiding as a purpose, yes, but this wasn’t only about that. There were other things mixed in, the thought of an end with him she had never once considered, the guilt of knowing Sillian would be left alone because of her… In the end, perhaps it was an apology for having driven him to beg.
Lynette had made this man beg for her life. For him, her time was important enough to throw away even his pride.
Of course, it was because they were bound as fated partners that he thought so, but… why did it feel like it wasn’t just that? Perhaps because she now knew that the kiss she’d received in her sleep… that soft, warm joy she felt, had been Sillian’s.
“I’m sorry.”
“I wasn’t seeking an apology.”
“I’ll think about it seriously. Truly.”
Perhaps her sincerity reached him through their joined hands, because the stiffness in Sillian’s face eased a little.
“…Rest. You look very unwell.”
He slowly bowed his head and brushed his lips lightly against the back of her hand. Just as he had done many times before. It even felt slightly different from when his lips had touched her forehead.
Lynette quietly watched him as he left the room, then burrowed back beneath her blanket.
***
After spending about three days in bed, she finally stepped outside her room and could immediately feel how much had changed. Guards had doubled in number, and the once-peaceful atmosphere of the palace was filled with tension.
Despite diligently applying ointment, the purplish bruise on her cheek hadn’t faded, so she wore a large gauze patch. Each time Euphen saw her face, he would show an expression she couldn’t describe in words. The lump on her head had nearly gone down, and her body had recovered quickly. It seemed her illness had been caused more by stress than injury.
When the physician came and examined her again, she said there didn’t seem to be any major issues with her head. The faulty window latch that wouldn’t close properly had already been repaired by a craftsman, and because they hadn’t secured it properly before, Mari and Lara had been scolded quite a bit.
Lynette leaned on the windowsill with her chin resting on her hand as the wind flew in. She had worried she might become fearful of opening the window after what happened, but it seemed the trauma hadn’t taken hold that deeply. Or perhaps it was because she believed Euphen would protect her no matter what happened.
“Haah…”
She let out a deep sigh and stared blankly outside. Ever since Sillian had come to visit her while she was ill, her heart had grown even more complicated. She couldn’t forget the sound of his pleading voice.
She had never once imagined what it would feel like to have pain ‘predetermined’ in the future. Yet because of Lynette, because she was with Euphen, because she was living as a fake Guide, Sillian had to suffer.
‘Is there really a way in that country to hasten the awakening of a Guide?’
But she couldn’t simply leave the Imperial Prince behind. As Sillian had said, his homeland was very far away. Even if Euphen didn’t use his abilities, an Esper could only endure about ten days without a Guide. After that, he would feel pain, it would grow worse, and eventually he would lose consciousness again.
He wouldn’t die, of course, but she couldn’t bear to put Euphen through such suffering. On top of that, weren’t there assassination threats? Leaving him defenseless in such a state was far too dangerous. No matter how many guards he had, there could never be complete safety.
If they were going to search for a method, they should have gone before Eshar was introduced. Now, it was already far too late.
So, in the end, was waiting for Miss Eshar’s awakening the only option?
All she could do was sigh.
Why did Sillian have to say such things and make her thoughts even more tangled?
As Lynette curled up with her head resting on her arms, she heard the sound of a knock on the door.
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