Chapter 113
It felt like her whole body was burning.
If she hadn’t already grown used to the pain after becoming a fake Guide, it would have been unbearable.
No matter how desperately she struggled, she couldn’t wake from the dream.
Soon after, it felt as though blades were stabbing through her entire body, followed by a sensation as if even her fingertips were being crushed to pieces.
How long had she floundered like that, barely enduring? Even though it was a dream, her consciousness grew faint.
Staring blankly into the empty void, she saw a hand slowly reach out from within the darkness.
‘A hand?’
She had to grab it.
No one had ever told her, but she knew instinctively.
Lynette desperately reached out.
The distance between them shrank terribly slowly, to the point of horror, as if it might never close. The instant she barely touched the hand, the pain that had dominated her entire body gradually faded away.
‘This is guiding.’
So this was what it felt like.
She clutched that hand desperately.
At last, she could fully understand the sensation she had only ever heard described in words. Why one would cling so desperately, How precious the other person became, Why they could never let go.
Was the hand holding her Sillian’s?
The moment that idle thought crossed her mind, her body was sharply pulled upwards.
“Hhhk….”
From the recoil, Lynette raised her upper body and gasped for breath.
This was the small room in the Mage Tower. After slowly looking around the room, she lowered her gaze to her hand.
She had awakened as a Guide.
She instinctively knew what that dream meant. Nothing else had changed, of course, Guides couldn’t use power the way Espers did.
Only after her breathing calmed down did she wipe her damp forehead, drenched in cold sweat.
So this was what it felt like for an Esper to suffer.
Now she fully understood why Euphen had treated her so well, and why Sillian clung so desperately. Because to them, she was the one and only person who could save them from such agony.
“Haah…”
Lynette squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again.
‘To think I would awaken like this.’
Before her regression, she had never awakened.
If she had ever dreamed something like this, she could never have forgotten. Everything had been far too vivid to dismiss as just a dream.
As if it were engraved into her:
‘This is the pain an Esper suffers. Don’t forget.’
Now she had become a true Guide.
Not Euphen’s, but Sillian’s Guide.
When would Eshar awaken?
Had she, perhaps, seen a similar dream?
After actually awakening, everything instead felt strangely unreal.
Lynette sat there absentmindedly, her fist tightly clenched, until Shirin called for her and she left the room.
***
On the carriage ride back, Lynette quietly gazed out the window.
She had awakened, but nothing in particular had changed. She was still Euphen’s fake Guide, and she still didn’t know about Eshar. The only thing different was that what she had once told Euphen that she awakened, had now become the truth.
‘So this is what it means to have endured that pain.’
She recalled the dream.
Years of suffering, and even after regressing, the same torment that had made even her think that she couldn’t endure this.
Realizing that, she knew she could never bring herself to use guiding as a means to threaten someone.
Who would have thought she would feel so sorry toward Sillian, after once saying that she won’t ever be seeing him again
The carriage arrived in front of the Sisstein Detached Palace, and Eric helped her down.
Sensing a gaze upon her, she turned her head and met Euphen’s eyes.
“Your Highness the Imperial Prince.”
“You’ve gone to see Shirin?”
“Yes.”
At those words, the man’s expression sank darkly.
Even knowing he couldn’t do anything about it, he hated the idea of Lynette going to the Mage Tower. At the very least the intervals between her visits had grown longer, he could only be grateful for that much.
Euphen’s face was filled with bitterness.
Lynette tried smiling to show she was fine, but it didn’t seem to comfort him.
“Is something the matter?”
At her question, the man gazed at her with sunken eyes for a moment, then shook his head.
“…It’s nothing.”
There’s clearly something wrong, she just couldn’t tell what it was.
Lynette tilted her head slightly.
“Lynette.”
“Yes?”
Euphen clenched his teeth after calling her name, falling silent for a long time. She could see the tension in his jaw.
Lynette couldn’t guess what he wanted to say.
Had he somehow realized she had just awakened?
But that wasn’t something another person could know. She thought hard, wondering if she had given herself away somehow, but nothing about her was different except for her clothes, wrinkled from thrashing around due to Shirin’s magic.
“That man…”
He finally spoke with difficulty, exhaling a deep sigh.
“That man treats you well, doesn’t he?”
What was that supposed to mean?
She couldn’t answer right away. Of course, Sillian treated her very well.
Sometimes he scolded her for what she did, but Lynette knew that was only because he worried about her more than anyone else.
So how should she answer?
To say yes feels awkward, but to say no felt wrong as well.
As she kept her lips pressed tightly shut, the man gave a bitter smile.
As if he could guess the truth without her saying a word.
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