Chapter 120
At Lynette’s words, Euphen showed a faintly sorrowful expression.
“Are you saying… that whatever decision I make, you’ll follow it as it is?”
“…Yes.”
She slowly nodded her head. She could see his large hand resting on his knee clench into a tight fist.
“Even if I were to say… that I would never see you again?”
Instead of answering, she lowered her head. His dry laughter rang out.
“Keeping you here like this is nothing but my own greed.”
Just moments ago, he had let his emotions show to some degree. But now, his voice had stiffened, as though he had shut everything away. As if he had already put his heart in order.
“Lynette. Every time I think that I shouldn’t touch you, I end up wanting to do it all the more.”
‘So do I.’
Lynette quietly answered in her heart.
Just as being told not to think of something only makes you think of it more, each time she reminded herself that she must not come into contact with Euphen, she only wanted to reach for him more. Was it not because she loved him? Because she adored him, she wanted to touch him, to hold him, and sometimes, even wanted to kiss him.
“Even if we try to keep our distance, there will surely come a moment when we end up touching. It could be by accident… or it could be me, unable to endure at some point.”
“So what you mean is… you’ll just keep me away from you?”
“That would be best. For your sake.”
“…”
“If you and I touch, in one form or another, the aftereffects will keep accumulating. And each time you go to Shirin, it will cost you a piece of your life.”
Would it have been any easier if she had at least been able to lie and say no? Compared to their farewell before, he was much more rational and composed now.
Her heart hurt even more.
Perhaps it was because she now knew she would have to spend the rest of her long life without him. Because this man had chosen, rather than his own desire, the path that would allow Lynette to live a little longer. Because she had fully understood the heart behind his, being the first to say, “Let’s part.”
“Go somewhere I cannot reach.”
“Your Highness.”
“Go far, far away. Somewhere I could never find you, Lynette.”
She pressed her lips tightly together and gazed silently into his blue eyes.
“Anywhere at all will do.”
In his words, she could feel all the emotions he had pressed down into them.
“With that man.”
When he uttered those words, Euphen looked utterly tormented. Yet Lynette could not bring herself to say anything.
“So that you can live in peace, I’ll make sure of it.”
“You don’t want to know… where I’m going?”
“If I knew, I’d want to come find you.”
The man answered quietly.
“Tell him. Tell that man to take you far away. The only thing I can give you is money.”
Would he grieve if she told him she had already planned to leave?
No. He would probably say it was a relief.
A dry laugh escaped her. It was fortunate, she thought, that she had already been considering this ending for a long time. If Euphen’s words had struck her unprepared, the shock would have been unbearable.
“…Is this really the end?”
Lynette finally forced out the words.
She had the chance to turn back time to meet him again, falling in love once more. And yet, for things to end like this… Thinking back on everything they had been through, it felt almost meaningless.
She knew right from the start that there was no such thing as a happy ending. Had it not been so from the very beginning of their meeting? A fake Guide and an Esper. An Imperial Prince and a maid who had been sold into the palace. A relationship where one side unilaterally stole away the other’s life, filled only with pain. In no way could such a pair ever come to a conclusion of ‘living happily ever after’.
But still…
She closed her eyes tightly, then opened them again. What surprised her most was that she had even hoped for another miracle, something like her regression. She had thought that she was rational, and yet, in the corner of her heart, she had been wishing for the impossible.
After a long silence, Euphen finally answered her question.
“Yes. This is the end, Lynette.”
His voice was firm, as though he were cutting away any lingering emotion.
Unexpectedly, no tears came. Was it because she had grown used to not crying in front of him? Or was it because she knew just how much she had already buried within herself, and so could not bring it to the surface first? It felt instinctive, as if she knew that if she let her emotions burst forth now, she would never be able to piece herself back together.
“I won’t tell you to leave immediately. You still need to speak with that man, and you will need time to prepare yourself.”
“…”
“If there’s anything you need, anything at all, tell me. I’ll make sure it’s ready.”
All Lynette could do was nod.
A long silence followed. As if he had said all there was to say, Euphen turned his head away.
His expression darkened.
She rose quietly and left the room.
Eshar, seated in the adjoining chamber, looked at her blankly. From her face alone, it seemed she could easily guess what kind of conversation had taken place.
Lynette paused for a moment, then walked towards her. She looked calmly into Eshar’s face and slowly asked.
“Did you tell His Highness… that it would be best for me to leave?”
“I didn’t bring it up first.”
Not a trace of lie could be found in that confident expression.
“It was Euphen’s own thoughts, his own decision.”
“…”
“Or… did you need someone to blame?”
At her calm question, Lynette shook her head. Even if Eshar had guided him in that direction, nothing would have changed. Euphen would have chosen the same regardless. Because that was the only path to save Lynette.
She returned to the room at a slightly slower pace.
That day, everything in the palace seemed a little more beautiful.
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