It’s Time to Stop Clinging to the Fake Guide - Chapter 17

Lynette stopped in her tracks when she saw Sillian standing in front of her. Even though their eyes met, she lowered her head and tried to pass as if she hadn’t seen him, only to have her hand caught.

She flinched at the sudden touch. The only person she had made ‘contact’ with recently was Euphen, and it seemed her body had memorized that being touched meant pain.

Frowning, she yanked her hand free.
“Let go of me.”
“You know that an Esper needs a Guide.”

She did know. Better than anyone. But accepting that she was the Guide of the man before her was not something she could easily do.

Besides, the only proof of them being ‘fated partners’ was that magic pendant, wasn’t it? Other than that, there was no evidence at all, and her heart remained in turmoil.

She had lived her life as a ‘fake’ Guide, and yet to someone, she was a ‘real’ Guide.

“Lynette.”

Sillian bit his lips and seized her again. This time, his grip was firm, as if he had no intention of letting go. The pressure in his touch was enough to make her uneasy.

His face was slightly stiff. Though Lynette had yet to awaken, so guiding shouldn’t even be possible, perhaps even the mere contact gave him some sense of psychological stability. He looked just a little calmer.

‘I don’t want this man to suffer, but…’

Still, Lynette could feel nothing but confusion.

“The pain of an Esper without a Guide is something you can hardly imagine.”
“I know. But still…”

She retreated step by step, asking,
“Why me?”

The man arched his brow at her question.
“Why you?”

His voice was cold, as though she had said something absurd.

Asking ‘why’ was meaningless.

Because it was fate. Because it was decided that way. Because some absolute existence beyond human reach had decreed it so.

Knowing she had asked a futile question, Lynette clenched her teeth.

“Why are you rejecting it so much?”
“……”
“An Esper and a Guide are bound by fate.”

His grip tightened. His crimson eyes drew closer, and it was hard to even back away.

“My words may seem doubtful to you now, but you’ll come to understand soon enough.”

He reached out his other hand, gently brushing aside her messy hair.
“Fated partners will be connected one way or another.”

“Fate, huh…”

She slapped away the hand that had touched her hair and scowled. To hear herself say ‘fate, huh’ aloud made her feel ridiculous.

She was more obsessed with fate than anyone, and yet here she was scoffing at it.

Her goal had been to unite Euphen with his true fated partner, Eshar, and to make them fall in love.

She, who believed in fate more than anyone else, could not bring herself to trust the man who claimed she was his fate.

She knew it was contradictory, but she could not stop rejecting him.

“What about fate?”

A crooked smile curved Sillian’s lips.
“From the very moment you and I met, that was fate.”

Lynette recalled again the relationship between an Esper and a Guide.

The two would meet, one way or another. No one could guarantee when, but they would ‘inevitably’ meet. That much was certain.

Some Espers ended their lives without waiting for their Guide. But those who endured, endured with the conviction that they would ‘certainly’ meet someday. Even knowing that their suffering might last for decades.

“You and I never met.”

Lynette murmured softly.

No matter how hard she searched her memory before her regression, there was no trace of the name ‘Sillian.’ If she had seen such vivid crimson eyes, there was no way she could have forgotten, not even as a fleeting impression.

“We did meet.”
“In the past… I mean, before then…”

She bit down hard on her lips.

How could she explain it was ‘before the regression’? She hadn’t even fully accepted it herself, so how could she convince anyone else of this situation?

“From the moment I awakened, my life has been in ruins.”

She heard the sound of his teeth grinding.
“Because of this damned fate.”

His large hand clamped down tightly on her shoulder.

Sillian seemed angry. He believed in fate, yet fought against it with everything he had.

“All of this is because of you, Lynette. Because you’re my fate.”
“I-I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s what fate is.”

A half-resigned, dry smile spread across his face.
“No matter how much you struggle to escape, in the end you fall into that wretched cycle. That’s what fate is!”

His voice grew rough, and Lynette’s body trembled. Yesterday he had seemed a little calmer, but today he was shaken.

Sillian looked down at her with a fury that reached his very core, then lowered his head. His forehead pressed firmly against her shoulder.

“Damn it. Just accept it.”
“……”
“You will become my Guide anyway. Fate cannot be changed.”

The hand that had been gripping her shoulder slid down and seized her hand again. His rough fingers tightened so hard it ached.

Lynette shoved him back.

“Do you know what this miserable feeling is like?”

His low voice weighed heavily on her entire body.

“Begging you to accept that you’re my Guide… finally meeting you like this… all of it is wretched.”

He looked as though he might collapse to his knees at any moment, pleading desperately for her to accept. Faced with that, Lynette had no idea what expression she should wear.

“Lynette.”

Don’t call me so tenderly.

The words rose to the tip of her tongue.

The pounding of his heart beat clearly against her palm. Her own heart thumped in unison with Sillian’s.

“What do you expect me to do?”

Her trembling voice spilled out.

“I’m the Guide of His Highness the Imperial Prince.”
“But you’re a fake, aren’t you?”
“I know! I know that!”

There had been days when she had secretly wished to become Euphen’s true Guide. At one time, she had even wished to be his fate.

But she remembered exactly when it was that she no longer wished for it.
‘It was when I felt my body was collapsing that I stopped wanting it.’