Chapter 32
She knew. That this man’s “fated partner” was not her. That loving him would leave nothing but sorrow. That she had to hide the throbbing pain in her heart.
But the words about Eshar would not come out easily.
“Lynette.”
He took a step closer. Normally, he would have reached out for her hand, but this time Euphen only looked at her quietly.
“I have something to say……”
“I have something to say……”
Their voices overlapped. Lynette widened her eyes, then quickly lowered her gaze.
“Please, you speak first.”
“I thought about what you said.”
His voice sank into a calm tone.
“You said all these feelings I have for you might be fake.”
“Yes.”
“Right. They might be fake. If my true Guide appears, these feelings might vanish in an instant.”
Euphen carefully lifted her hand into his. From her fingertips, a sharp ache seeped in.
Could there be anything clearer to show her that she was nothing more than a “fake”?
Lynette clenched her teeth before she realized it.
Soft, hot, aching lips pressed firmly against the back of her hand. The more she tried to feel something like his warmth, the sharper the pain became.
“But the one before my eyes is you, Lynette.”
“I can never stay by Your Highness’s side forever.”
“Even if my true Guide appears, I will never abandon you.”
A bitter laugh slipped out. Did he realize he was pushing her farther away with every moment they shared?
It wasn’t his intention, but guiding was the same as shaving away her life.
“These feelings are no illusion.”
“They are an illusion.”
“Even when I’m not touching you, I think of you.”
“That’s because of guiding……”
“Strange, isn’t it.” Euphen cut off her words.
“Lynette, it hasn’t even been that long since I met you… yet it feels as if we’ve been together for a long time.”
Her tongue tied itself in knots. Her mind tangled into chaos.
Could this man also retain memories from before the regression? Or was he simply mistaken, lost in his own deep thoughts?
“How should I put it. I’m certain you are the ‘someone’ I’ve been searching for in my dreams for a very long time.”
“That can’t… be true.”
“It must sound absurd.”
He smiled bitterly and tightened his hold on her hand, stepping closer.
“I won’t deny the sensations guiding gives.”
Euphen lowered his head slightly. His blue eyes filled her sight.
The color of the sea, was it? Within them, the emotions rippled like waves threatening to crash down.
She couldn’t even think to look away. She could only stare back at him. It felt as though it had been ages since they last stood face-to-face like this.
Back then, they had so easily exchanged words of love.
“Even if all of that didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have been able to stop thinking of you from the moment I first saw you.”
“It’s all because of guiding.”
“If it’s hard for you to believe me, then from now on, even without touching, I’ll be fine.”
He let go of her hand. The pain faded, but the aftershock remained, and she clenched her tingling hand tightly before opening it again.
Why was he saying these things now. At the very moment when she had to beg him to love Eshar.
“You said the feeling should only exist with one’s fated partner. So will you believe me if I prove that it doesn’t matter even without such ‘fate’?”
“My role is to guide Your Highness.”
“The one ensnared by guiding isn’t me. It’s you, Lynette.”
“……”
“You think it’s all because of guiding. That the unfamiliar feelings I hold for you, the reasons it has to be you, everything.”
“But it’s true. If not for guiding, Your Highness would never……”
“Lynette.”
Euphen cut her off with a hardened expression. To hide her confusion, Lynette fixed her gaze on the floor, lips pressed tightly shut.
She thought she had explained well enough, that it was all an illusion born of guiding’s satisfaction. But she hadn’t expected him to close the distance even more.
“Lift your head, Lynette.”
After hesitating, she slowly raised her gaze. From his chest to his face, until their eyes met.
“I want to kiss you.”
“…What?”
“You know what guiding feels like. So you must understand what it means when I say I want to kiss you.”
“T-that’s……”
She had heard before that guiding alone never stirred the desire to kiss.
Guiding. The act was complete in itself. It never made one want something more.
Her lips trembled, and his low, rough voice asked,
“May I kiss you?”
Lynette’s eyes widened. His bright blue eyes were already right before her.
Euphen’s hot breath brushed against her lips.
“Ah…”
At her startled flinch, his lips touched hers slowly.
From her sensitive lips, tingling pain spread outward. She shut her eyes tight.
The kiss wasn’t long. Leaving behind a faint ache, he pulled back slowly.
“You said it was just an illusion, confusion. I thought seriously about that. This is my answer to what I feel for you.”
Lynette blinked. For a moment, as Euphen smiled at her just like in the past… like when he had loved her… she felt as if she had slipped back into that time.
“What was it you wanted to say?”
His words brought her back to herself. After a brief pause, Lynette spat out the words she had carried in her head ever since meeting Eshar yesterday.
“Your Highness… please love Miss Eshar.”
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