It’s Time to Stop Clinging to the Fake Guide - Chapter 35

“What kind of expression am I making?”
At those words, Sillian faintly furrowed his brows.
“You look as if you’re in pain.”

I’m fine. Really, I’m not hurting at all. In fact, with so little contact, the pain lingering in my body was barely anything.
Lynette tilted her head slightly.
“I’m fine.”

At that, the man silently cupped her cheek with his other hand.
His calloused palm pressed roughly against her skin. Even though it was coarse, it didn’t hurt… instead, she thought it felt gentle.
His thumb slowly brushed beneath her eyes.

“You look as if you’re about to cry.”

She hadn’t been, but the moment she heard that, something welled up inside her. The feelings she’d been desperately pushing aside spilled over.
“Uh.”
Lynette bit down hard on her lips. Heat pricked at her eyes. Without a chance to hide it, a tear slipped down.

She squeezed her eyes shut. Sillian stepped closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“Ugh… uh…”
She forced back the sob threatening to escape between her teeth. His warmth pressed against her more firmly.

Ah. Wouldn’t it have been better if this man had truly been her fated partner?
If, upon awakening, every touch from him filled her with the sensation of finding her lost half, would she have loved Sillian?
If so, perhaps it would have been easier to tell Euphen to find another. Perhaps she wouldn’t have been shaken by his change.

Lynette clutched tightly at Sillian’s clothes. She could feel his fingertips slowly brush her tear-damp lashes.
Exhaling shakily, half a sob, she stopped her tears and opened her eyes again.

“If someone is destined, it may be different. But if one already has another fate… then it cannot end well.”
Sillian’s voice was calm.

She suddenly realized just how close they were. She tried to step back, but his arm held her firmly, not letting her move.
“I know.”
“I told you, being a fake guide brings nothing but pain.”

If it were only physical pain, she could have endured it a hundred, a thousand times over. But the pain of the heart… she could never get used to it.
“Right now, you might feel glad, thinking you’ve become someone needed by the Prince, but…”
He tried to persuade her again.

But Lynette wiped away the tears with the back of her hand and pushed hard against his chest.
“I’ve never had such an illusion. Don’t jump to conclusions.”
“……”
“I’ve never wanted to become someone indispensable to His Highness Euphen, either.”

He looked startled.
“Just… just leave me alone.”
“How can I leave you alone when you’re crying?”
“It doesn’t matter. Whether I cry, or laugh.”

Her sharp retort cut through the air as she tried to walk past him.
She knew it was nothing more than misdirected anger. He hadn’t done anything wrong.
He was the pitiful one. A man born an Esper, enduring pain without a Guide, clinging to her as though she were his fate, seeking comfort from merely holding her hand.

Sillian blocked her path. She nearly bumped into his chest, halting just in time, her brows furrowing as she looked up at him.
“The truth is, you don’t know anything.”
“I do know!”

She tried to dodge, but his heated hand gripped her elbow tightly. She shoved at his chest with all her strength, but he didn’t budge.
“I know that your existence was never supposed to be, that I will never awaken, that His Highness Euphen needs Miss Eshar, that they are bound by destiny, and that I will end as nothing more than a fake… I know all of it!”

She blurted the words in one breath, forgetting even to breathe, then gasped heavily afterward.
“Whether that pendant glows or not, I know you’re not my fate. Do you understand? So go find your true partner instead.”

At that, Sillian’s brows knit faintly.
“Why do you deny it so strongly?”
“Because it isn’t true. You are not my fate.”
She emphasized “not” once again.

“Lynette, have you ever heard that an Esper and their Guide are destined to meet?”
“I have.”
“Then my meeting with you must also be destiny.”
“No. It’s nothing more than coincidence.”
“Coincidence is destiny as well.”
“Coincidence is just coincidence. In truth, you and I were never meant to meet.”
“And yet we have met. That is what is called fate.”

Lynette let out a short sigh.
In her previous life, she had never once encountered him. Therefore, it wasn’t fate.
It was only by saving someone else that the flow of events shifted slightly, causing them to cross paths. That couldn’t be called destiny.
If it truly had been fate, if she had truly been his Guide, then she should have met him even in her former life.

“No matter what you believe, what’s not true is simply not true.”
She shook his hand off firmly.

“If it is true… then what about leaving together with me?”
He clung to that “if,” as though he couldn’t give up.
She knew it was a meaningless hypothetical. Perhaps that was why it was so easy to say.

“Fine. If I am your Guide, I’ll leave with you.”
“Forsaking everything with the Prince, coming with me?”
“Yes. I’ll do that.”

Lynette nodded obediently. At her words, Sillian faintly smiled and lowered his head.
Startled by his lips drawing closer, she turned her face aside, only to feel a gentle touch against her forehead.