It’s Time to Stop Clinging to the Fake Guide - Chapter 39

From that day on, Euphen acted as if he truly loved Eshar, just as he had said. Eshar came to the Detached Palace quite often, and each time, Lynette had to watch the two of them together.
That much was no different from the beginning, but after that, Euphen never showed her any hint of emotion. No questions asking if she was satisfied, no words that could be taken to mean something else. He simply let her guide him quietly and sent her away.

She wanted to ask what he was thinking. To say that if he only wanted to hurt her, it was more than enough already.

“Haah.”
Lynette let out a long sigh.

Everything was in shambles. The only thing that had gone as expected was that she had once again become Euphen’s fake guide.

‘That should be enough.’

She closed her eyes tightly, then opened them, and suddenly thought of Sillian. That man, who was convinced she was his guide, had left behind a few words about being away for several days on guard duty, and then disappeared.
Sometimes she wondered if he would never come back. Maybe he had coincidentally gone somewhere and met his true fated partner.

‘But I think he’ll return.’

It was just a feeling. Maybe it was because he had told her every single day that she was his fate. Or maybe it was simply because, after holding hands and sharing warmth with him every day, she had grown attached.

She looked down at her hands without thinking, clenching and unclenching them.
Was he doing alright?

The thought itself made her laugh bitterly at herself. She kept insisting he wasn’t her guide, that what they had wasn’t guiding, just a kind of comfort. Yet the moment he was gone, here she was worrying about him.

Feeling as though she could still sense his warmth, she squeezed her hands tight again.
“…It’s only natural to worry about someone.”

Lynette muttered softly. Even if it were just a dog, if you saw it every day and then suddenly didn’t, you’d worry. How much more so when it was a person.

And the fact that he was an esper without a guide… that was another reason for concern. Even if he tried to use his power as little as possible, there was a limit. Everyone had a different threshold, but without guiding, sooner or later he would end up like Euphen.

Losing consciousness while waiting for a guide to appear someday, that was the better outcome. In the worst case, one would stay fully awake and be driven mad by the pain. Unable to sleep, collapsing into unconsciousness only to wake and scream again, begging to be killed instead…

Lynette shook her head violently. She didn’t want to imagine such worst cases. Nor did she wish such a fate on Sillian.

‘I hope his guide appears soon.’

Then he wouldn’t have to lean on her pointlessly, and she could erase even the faintest possibility of a “what if.” He had told her countless times she was his fate, enough that a tiny seed of doubt had begun to sprout in her heart.

What if, by some absurd chance, it was actually true that she should have awakened as his guide?

With that thought, Lynette took a deep breath and opened the door to Shirin’s laboratory.

***

About an hour later, staggering back out, she coughed dryly.
“Cough, cough…”

Since there was no need to hold back inside, she had screamed as much as she wanted, leaving her throat raw and stinging. Sweat had soaked her clothes, the damp fabric clinging unpleasantly to her skin.

Even though it was over, it still felt as though the pain lingered. Her fingertips trembled uncontrollably. She clasped her hands together as tightly as she could, but it was no use. With her eyes closed, the sensations left in her body only became sharper.

By now, she thought she should have grown used to it. So why was it still so hard to endure?

“Haah.”
Lynette leaned against the wall of the corridor with a deep sigh. Euphen’s pain was easy to bear, but the pain from magic was twice as hard to withstand.

The pain itself was similar. Was the difference simply whether or not she bore it for the sake of the man she loved?

As her vision spun, she rested her head against the wall and stood there silently. Mages passed by her, ignoring her as though it were routine. Not one of them offered help, not even a word of concern.

Dragging her heavy, sluggish body back to her room, she barely managed to wash before collapsing onto her bed. Blinking a few times, she drifted into sleep as though fainting. At some point, a rattling sound echoed by her ear.

Startled, Lynette raised her head and turned toward the source. With the moonlight behind it, she couldn’t see clearly, but something large was fiddling with the lock on the window.

“Sill…ian?”

At this hour, there was no one else it could be. She frowned slightly.
The last time he had visited her like this, she had clearly told him never to do it again. Had he already forgotten?

She rose from the bed and walked over to the window, folding her arms.

She had not the slightest intention of opening it. Whatever he said, he was the one at a disadvantage.

Besides, hadn’t she compromised enough by holding hands with him every day? To tap on her window at night like this was clearly rude.