Chapter 42
‘The problem is that until awakening, no one knows who their fate is.’
Still, it didn’t seem to be entirely impossible. After all, Sillian had managed to find her through that magical pendant.
With that thought, Lynette began to wonder, ‘Could it be that man himself who is special?’
She had never heard of a magical pendant capable of locating one’s partner. After living several years as a fake Guide, she had believed she knew quite a lot about Espers and Guides. Yet she hadn’t even known such an item existed.
If she thought about it that way, perhaps the reason Sillian had been able to feel something close to the effect of Guiding was because of that special item.
‘If I asked him to give it to me…’
Of course, he would never simply hand it over.
Lynette let out a faint laugh. For him, whose fated Guide had yet to awaken and with no telling when that would be, asking for that item would be no different from telling him to choose suffering instead.
That object must be essential for him.
“Haah, this is difficult.”
She exhaled a long sigh, her eyes drifting into the air.
When she had woken up again in the Imperial Castle after her death, her plan had been so very simple.
To become a fake Guide and lessen Euphen’s pain. Then, find his fated partner.
And then make sure that Euphen would fall in love with Eshar, so that there would never be the misfortune of him loving Lynette again.
After that, once Eshar awakened, she would quietly wish them happiness, smile as though nothing weighed on her, and leave.
It had been such a simple plan, yet things kept veering off course.
The relationship between Euphen and Eshar, which didn’t seem as romantic as she had imagined.
And Sillian, the man who appeared calling her his “fate,” and who only grew more enigmatic the more she came to know him.
“Lynette.”
As soon as she entered the Detached Palace, Mari stepped in front of her.
“Mari.”
“You’re early.”
“Early? I came at the usual time…”
Lynette stopped mid-sentence and closed her mouth firmly. She immediately understood why Mari had said that.
Eshar must be with Euphen right now.
When Lynette gave a faint, crooked smile, Mari frowned slightly and averted her gaze.
After that first time, when the two of them had deliberately acted affectionate right in front of her, they had never done so again.
‘That bothers me even more.’
If it had been just for show, she could have consoled herself by thinking it wasn’t real. But if it wasn’t, then she had no choice but to admit they were truly spending time together, just the two of them.
Lynette lowered her eyes.
What should she do?
Euphen, at least, would know when she usually came. Was he staying with Eshar to deliberately show her, or was their time together so enjoyable that they simply lost track of time?
A sharp ache throbbed in her head. Mari looked at her with a slightly uneasy expression.
“I think… I have far too many pointless thoughts.”
“What?”
“Even over the smallest things, I wonder this way and that way, over and over again.”
The maid tilted her head, not understanding what Lynette meant.
“The truth is, there’s hardly anything I can actually choose.”
“Lynette.”
“Isn’t it so? I’m just a fake, nothing more than… a tool.”
Lynette let out a short laugh. Mari, looking worried, lifted the back of her hand to Lynette’s forehead.
“Are you unwell?”
“No. I’m fine.”
No matter how many thousands of times Lynette thought about Euphen’s feelings, her own circumstances would not change. Even if he cared for her in the slightest, there was nothing that could be altered.
It had been the same before, and it was the same now: every time she touched Euphen, it only brought her pain. She had to carve away at her dwindling lifespan, and that would remain true even if he despised her.
As a fake Guide, her role was to lessen his suffering. And later, to leave quietly.
As long as she could keep him from feeling sorrow in that process, that would be enough. Hadn’t she told herself that from the very moment she returned?
Instead of going straight to Euphen, Lynette headed for the waiting room. She was certain he was with Eshar, and she had no desire to interrupt them. There was still plenty of time anyway. It wasn’t as though Euphen would collapse immediately without Guiding.
‘This is for the best.’
Curling up on the sofa, Lynette buried her face against her knees.
Nothing had changed. The only thing she had lost was Euphen’s heart.
Wasn’t this the very outcome she had most fervently wished for? That this time, the man would love his true fated partner.
Her mind understood it well enough, but her heart still found it difficult to bear. Perhaps because she had believed for so long that his feelings belonged to her.
Even knowing that everything had to begin again from zero, the remnants of the hundred feelings she still carried could only sink helplessly into the depths.
‘My head hurts.’
Whether it was from lack of sleep or from too many useless thoughts, her head throbbed dully. Resting her cheek on her knees, she blinked slowly. A soft breeze stirred, brushing lightly through her hair.
Her eyelids grew heavy, and before she realized it, Lynette drifted into sleep.
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