Chapter 45
“Sillian.”
For the first time, Lynette went to seek the man out herself.
Was it because of his long, gleaming golden hair that he stood out so distinctly among the countless guards? Or was it because he was her so-called ‘fated partner’? She wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was simply the expression he had shown her the night before. If it hadn’t been for that desperate look, she wouldn’t have agonized this much over it.
When he spotted her, the man brushed his hair back and walked toward her slowly.
“What brings you here?”
His surprised expression was almost refreshing, as though he had never once imagined she would come to him.
“It’s time for me to guide you.”
“Well… that’s true, but-”
“There are things I want to talk about too.”
At that, Sillian nodded.
The two of them sat side by side in a thicket within a small garden, away from the barracks and training grounds.
“About yesterday…”
Sillian was the first to speak. After a moment of hesitation, he let out a low sigh and murmured,
“I’m sorry.”
Lynette gazed ahead without answering. She wasn’t even sure if it was something he needed to apologize for. He had looked truly tormented, and in the end, he had only done what he needed to do.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize for.”
After some thought, she answered softly. A quiet sigh of relief came from beside her.
“May I… hold your hand?”
“That’s why I came to see you.”
She offered her hand, and Sillian clasped it firmly. Yet still, there was none of the ‘guiding’ sensation she had felt with Euphen. All she could sense was warmth, the callouses in his rough palm, and the firm grip of his fingers.
“How does this work?”
“What do you mean?”
“Guiding. How does it work?”
When she asked and turned her eyes on him, Sillian met her gaze and smiled faintly.
“Physical contact is enough.”
“You know that’s not what I’m asking.”
“……”
“I haven’t awakened as a Guide.”
Whether because he had no intention of answering or because he was unsure what to say, Sillian pressed his lips together in silence. Lynette tightened her grip on his hand.
“I don’t know what guiding is supposed to feel like, but I do know this isn’t it.”
“…I don’t know either.”
“Whatever the sensation is, as long as I’m in contact with you, guiding should happen. Isn’t that right?”
When he still gave no answer, she pulled her hand free from his. She had expected resistance, but to her surprise, he released her easily.
“Then how is it done?”
“……”
“Can’t you answer me?”
“Do you really need to know?”
“I do.”
At that, Sillian fixed his crimson gaze on her. There was a faint chill in his eyes.
“Is it for the Crown Prince’s sake?”
“Yes. It’s for His Highness. Is that so wrong?”
Her voice sharpened with frustration. Sillian frowned faintly, exhaling a long breath.
“Wouldn’t it be better to say it’s for yourself?”
“Either way, what difference does it make?”
“There’s a great difference between saying you want to know for ‘that man’s sake’ and for ‘your own sake.’”
“If I said it was for me, would you answer?”
“Then say it.”
His crimson eyes glimmered darkly. Lynette’s lips parted hesitantly.
“…I want to know for myself.”
“It’s a method you couldn’t use with anyone else anyway.”
“Then don’t make it sound like you’ll explain, if you won’t!”
Irritation surged through her. Why phrase it that way if he had no intention of answering?
When she shoved him back in anger, Sillian let out a short laugh.
“I don’t like that my Guide treasures someone else above me. Is that so wrong?”
“I’m not your Guide.”
“You will be.”
It was pointless to continue bickering. Lynette pressed her lips together and said nothing.
“Value yourself above all else,” Sillian said, lifting her hand to his lips and pressing a light kiss to the back of her hand. The motion was graceful, almost natural.
“Because I’m destined to become your Guide?”
“Is it not reason enough that I worry for you?”
“You’re only worried because I’m supposed to be your Guide.”
At that, his gaze locked firmly with hers.
“At first, yes. That was the only reason.”
Lynette’s fingertips twitched. His breath brushed lightly against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine.
“Don’t say any more.”
She tried hastily to stop him, but Sillian was quicker.
“Now, it’s because of you. You, and nothing else.”
“I told you not to-!”
“If I don’t say it, you’ll never even think of me.”
Lynette bit down on her lip hard.
“You only think of me because you believe I’m your Guide.”
She forcefully wrenched her hand from his, the one he still refused to let go of. The place where his lips had touched tingled, and even when she scratched it harshly with her nails, the sensation lingered.
“If I weren’t your supposed Guide, you wouldn’t even have known I existed.”
“Isn’t that what fate is? Entertaining the opposite is pointless.”
“My point is, if we’d never met, you wouldn’t have had reason to think of me at all-”
“But we did meet.”
“……”
“So why waste time on meaningless suppositions?”
He was right. It was meaningless. Chance or destiny, the fact was that they had met. And this man harbored some kind of ‘feeling’ towards her.
Now, what use was it to say, “If we had never met, I wouldn’t have felt this way”? Just as he said, perhaps that was simply what fate was.
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