Chapter 49
A throbbing pain spread through her.
She didn’t even need to look to know who it was. There was only one person who could bring her such pain.
“Your Highness, the Imperial Prince.”
She looked at his back. His strides were so long that she nearly had to run to keep up.
Clutching her skirts, Lynette hurried after him. Her arm ached. She couldn’t tell if it was because he was holding her too tightly, or because of the guiding.
“Ah.”
He shoved her into one of the lounges and slammed the door shut behind them. Lynette slowly rubbed the arm still gripped in his hand.
Euphen, too, seemed ready for the party, dressed in splendid attire. Having always seen him in a looser, less formal state, the sight of him so perfectly put together struck her as new.
His hair, usually left slightly tousled, was now neatly swept back. His attire fit him flawlessly, accented with elegant adornments.
“Lynette.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
She lifted her skirts slightly and bowed her head.
But he said nothing. For a long moment, he simply stood there. Beyond the door, faint sounds filtered in, the growing stir of guests filling the hall.
“…”
Lynette fixed her gaze on the tips of his shoes. How long the silence stretched, she couldn’t say, until finally Euphen took a step closer.
“Have you thought about what you wanted to say to me?”
At his question, her head throbbed.
Only then did she remember the conversation they had a week ago. With Sillian’s matters, and the thought of him introducing Eshar at the party, she hadn’t given it a thought since.
Her fingers clenched around her skirt.
What am I supposed to say?
No matter how she searched her heart, nothing came to her. Should she confess she loved him, here and now? Should she admit she was jealous of how close he had grown to Eshar? Or should she simply cry?
Lynette kept her lips tightly sealed, her head bowed.
“Raise your head.”
She was afraid of what expression she might be wearing. Unable to face him, she kept her eyes fixed on the floor, until his hand tipped her chin up. A strangled sound nearly escaped her throat.
Their eyes met.
“Nothing to say?”
At his repeated question, she closed her eyes tightly before forcing them open again.
Pain shot from her jaw up through her head, stabbing into her mind until she couldn’t think of anything at all.
“Lynette.”
“Your Highness…”
She smoothed out the frown threatening her brow, then gently lowered his hand from her chin. Exhaling, she thought, as always, that the pain delivered through his hand was the easiest to endure.
“I told you to think carefully.”
“And no matter how much I think… there is nothing more for me to say.”
He moved closer. His blue eyes, darkened with shadow, loomed right before her.
“Even if I say I’ll be engaged to Eshar?”
Her mind told her she should congratulate him, but her lips wouldn’t move. She had expected this all along, so why did it still feel like a blow?
“Con…gratulations.”
She couldn’t even say that single word smoothly. Slowly, she let go of his hand.
It was all for the best. Once he was engaged to Eshar, he would never turn his heart toward her. With a fiancée, there would be no needless touches, no unnecessary contact. Then she wouldn’t have to burn through her life so quickly.
But Euphen’s face twisted. His hand pressed hard against her shoulder, and Lynette staggered before collapsing onto the sofa behind her.
The plush cushion met her back. Startled by the closeness of his blue eyes, she instinctively leaned away, but the sofa held her fast.
Then his hot breath grazed her lips. A shiver ran down her spine.
If she moved even a little, their lips would meet. Frozen in place, she could only blink.
“Your Highness…”
As she barely forced the words out, Euphen tilted his head, just enough to seem as if he might kiss her at any moment.
She could feel his warmth. He hadn’t touched her, no pain sparked between them, yet it felt as though he had.
“Uh…”
The distance was unbearable. Lynette squeezed her eyes shut, her thoughts in disarray.
What should she do? Push him away and flee? Tell him to stop?
Clutching her skirts, trembling, she felt his faint sigh brush her lips.
“You said the feelings I bear are only because of guiding.”
At those words, she slowly opened her eyes. His blue gaze was still fixed on her, so close she could see every sweep of his lashes.
And in that strange moment, she found herself thinking, absurdly, that he was beautiful. Like the shining sea he had once spoken of.
“Even without touching you, I want to. Is that guiding, too?”
“…”
“Is it?”
“It is because of guiding.”
Her voice came out stiff, trembling. She dared not move even an inch, lest she brush against him.
“You love me.”
Her eyes grew wide at his words.
“I… I…”
It felt like she couldn’t breathe, as though something was tightening around her throat. Her mind went blank.
“And you’ll tell me that’s only because of guiding, too?”
His mocking tone made her lips part helplessly.
She had never imagined Euphen would see through her so completely. She had tried so hard to be careful, yet somehow her feelings had shown.
But perhaps it was inevitable. She had never truly restrained her love for him, she only knew how to express it. With one exception. The one time she left him, when she lied that she loved another man. Other than that, her heart had always overflowed for this man.
No. Even that hadn’t worked properly.
In the end, she hadn’t managed to deceive him, nor had she hidden the sight of herself dying.
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