My Ruin to You - Chapter 3

I couldn’t breathe.

Even I, who upon regaining consciousness worried more about my illustrious lover’s reaction than dealing with the aftermath of the accident I caused—and Valen, who abandoned his duties in the principality and rushed back to the capital over something like this. But what I hated most was my own wretched heart, unable to even accept his tender affection without resistance.

It hadn’t been this much of a mess from the beginning.

“What upset your mood today?”

“It’s nothing. It’s just that Your Highness is too extraordinary.”

“Then you should be happy. That extraordinary person is yours.”

“……Huh?”

“You seem to forget something important at times. You can do whatever you want. I’ll take responsibility.”

“Even if I set the academy on fire?”

“Even if you turn the empire to ashes. As long as it eases your mind.”

Whenever I retreated from the sharp, stinging words, Valen was always there at the end. His simple comfort and meltingly sweet voice made it so that, truly, there was a time when I feared nothing as long as he was by my side.

Had all those countless words and scandals been mere jealousy over having won such an exceptional man, I might have endured them gladly. Yes, I might have even smiled leisurely and thought, Bark all you want—he isn’t yours to have. I’ll just ignore you.

But his overwhelming presence was slowly erasing Roseline. That was the problem.

“Where are you going?”

“Arsillye. I was worried about where to stay during the break since we have to vacate the dormitory, but it worked out perfectly. The professor gave me the opportunity to join a research society on magical stone ruins.”

“Duration?”

“He said we’d return to the capital before the season ends. We have to prepare for the next semester too.”

“Too long, Roseline.”

“……But.”

“But given your situation, there’s no helping it. Fine, I understand.”

No helping it. But he understood.

I thought it was considerate of him. I was simply grateful that my passionate lover, who visited me even on weekdays whenever possible just to see my face, was being so understanding of my circumstances. No—perhaps the cancellation of the research society was just bad luck, and his consideration was genuine.

“I should thank the young lady. Thanks to her, we all received the benefit of being exempt from dormitory fees. How grateful we should be.”

“I feel the same. The facilities have improved so much, haven’t they?”

“Ah, perhaps the thanks should go to His Highness instead.”

“Oh, the young lady… Surely Lady Celodienne will convey it properly, won’t she?”

Whatever the outcome, the dormitory must have also been his doing. There was no longer any need to work desperately late into the night to afford the exorbitant dormitory fees, nor any reason to refuse his requests to meet with guilt-laden apologies.

But for some reason—truly, for some reason—his consideration and the things he gave no longer brought me joy.

“Lately, I’m scared of people’s stares. What if they see all female Awakened as seductresses?”

“Even the young lady? I’ve been so disillusioned I can’t sleep at night. To think she wheedled her way into getting grades from her lover. Unthinkable.”

“Well, at least she has some conscience. She didn’t take first place.”

“If I’d known it’d be like this, I should’ve focused on my looks too. Who knows? Maybe I could’ve been the top student.”

Now, even Roseline’s grades had become something the Grand Duke gave her.

Her grades had always been good. There was the desperate need for scholarships, of course, but unlike those who had families to return to, Roseline had to carve out her own future—she couldn’t afford to be careless. Not when her stepmother was watching with greedy eyes, eager to sell her off to some fat merchant at the first opportunity.

It was just that, with fewer obligations, she finally had time to study. But the wretched world was too busy seeing only what it wanted to see and chattering away.

And in a way, even that time had been given by Valen. It was unfair—but did she even have the right to call it unfair?

Still, it was fine. As long as they didn’t outright block her path, she consoled herself by thinking that, at the very least, they must have found her pretty. She ignored them.

She believed that if she just graduated with top honors, if she just became an official in the Magical Affairs Bureau, everything would be resolved.